Hi TL, I'm back. This time with a very personal story I'd like to share with you.
I'm currently 26 years old. As you already know (or at least the folks who read my blog all the time do) I'm an MD (I graduated 2 years ago) and I'm working at a small, low complexity countryside hospital in southern Chile doing my GP residency in order to gain a little more experience so in a year or two I can go do my specialty (leaning torwards either radiology or neurology) with better knowledge and understanding of the medical art. I've seen lots of things at work, some funny, some very depressing, and it's pretty hard to be really professional and don't let those things get to you too much. You compartimentalize, talk to your colleagues or friends about them, but they never get any easier. And sometimes, they take the toll on you. Especially if you're prone to depression.
I've been coping with this fucking disease since I was younger. My very best friend died in a horrible accident. The memory of my parents waking me up in the morning at my bedside, telling me she was gone, has haunted me every single day of my life ever since; from that day on, I can safely say I am not the same person I remember I was prior to that fateful day...
I've had 3 more episodes, related to other things, but the ghost of what started it all has always been behind my back. Not only because of my work I know how this disease chases you down all your life, and you've got to cope with it and fight it, but also as a patient; I have felt it in my very mind and flesh; that disgusting emptiness that eats your thoughts, drains your energy, your cheerfulness and your smile... It's hard to cope with it.
I've seen things at work that have gotten to me a lot. I've been losing sleep because of the ER shifts, my family thinks my mood has changed and now I'm like a bitter old grandpa, bitching all day about the littlest things... And the ghost of depression crosses my mind. It's a struggle with no end.
So I've been going to the shrink since a couple weeks ago and he put me into some medication (Topamax as a mood stabilizer and Effexor as an antidepresant) which has made me feel a little better. He told me to dedicate a little more time to my current hobbies (writing, playing guitar, StarCraft II) and take a few weeks off work to vent off. So I did. I feel better but sometimes I'm all bummed out and it's back to the start all over again.
Have you ever dealt with depression, fellow TL users? How have you coped with it? What are your experiences on the matter?
I thank you for bearing with me on this very personal blog entry. I'd very much like to hear from your stories too. Talking about this kind of stuff tends to make things a little easier and, who knows, we might even find good ideas to cope with this fucking disease.
I am currently 18 years old in college, and I've failed my first two semesters. I have been depressed for a long time but recently I've been going through a really bad time. I failed my first semester of college, lost both of my jobs a day apart, 4 days after that my dad died on christmas and two months after that, my girlfriend, my pillar of strength, broke up with me. So yeah. I've been talking to my sister a lot about it but I don't know how to NOT be depresed.
Sounds rough man. I'm 20 and a college student and I've been depressed for about a year now and all I can say is music helps. Go for a walk when the sun is shining on a beautiful day, pop in some head phones, and just look at the world around you. Listen to whatever you want, just make it something you like. What I started with was Atmosphere, a rap group with a very heavy blues side, because the sad stories with beats that just make you feel so sad for the singer, you can't help but think your life isn't that bad.
I've started doing this on campus and it's really helping me forget about all the shit in my life, even if it's just for 5 minutes between class. But really, if you take the time to slow down and look at nature's beauty, I honestly believe you might find yourself feeling better.
Also, I've never been a "nature is amazing" kind of a person: I don't talk about nature with friends, I don't garden or anything like that, but for last couple of weeks I've started noticing how amazing things look, and I really believe it can help you get out of a funk.
Good luck man, doctors have it rough, but they've got to be some of the best people on the planet.
Wow, well... I'd love to help you out. Really my best advice would be to find someone to talk to, and just tell them everything. Someone who really cares about you, maybe a new girlfreind ? Anyways, gl and I hope you feel better soon!
I struggle with depression, I'm currently a student at Uni, and I can get quite stressed, however alot of my depression though comes from being transgender, I have good days and some days where I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm on meds, but I'm pretty bad about taking them. I cope by just keeping a positive mindset, but sometimes It just simply doesn't work and I want to die, but I usually keep a clear enough head to know what I'm feeling will pass... eventually.
I think just keeping yourself busy, especially doing things that you enjoy and feel good doing are the best options. Surrounding yourself with positive people and energy, and pursue things that genuinely make you happy can help too. Maybe try something new and get yourself motivated about it. You probably know more than me, but I think in the end it's about spending as much time doing things that make you feel good so that you don't fall in the "rut" or "hole" that depression can bring on which will just suck you down.
On April 20 2012 15:07 TerlocSG wrote: ...
Also, I've never been a "nature is amazing" kind of a person: I don't talk about nature with friends, I don't garden or anything like that, but for last couple of weeks I've started noticing how amazing things look, and I really believe it can help you get out of a funk.
Good luck man, doctors have it rough, but they've got to be some of the best people on the planet.
I really agree with this. Sometimes if you just take a moment and appreciate your surroundings and nature, you just see the beauty in everything around you which puts things in perspective. Makes you realize how small you are in this universe, and that your problems are nothing compared to the infinite expanse of space. Also, it makes you thankful for everything you have.
I been through depression. It can be quite irrational and hard to pinpoint. Are you depressed because you feel lonely, because your father recently died, because of stressing ambitions or stuff like that. Don't focus on it, just let it go. Live, do what you like but also the things you have to do. Don't focus on being depressed and don't view yourself as it. I don't know if you are religious or something but personally I believe in nothing of the sort and it really helps to bring a positive perspective to life knowing that there are no greater pressures or meaning, you can just live your life to your abilities and let it fall as it may. I don't think I was very helpful here, it is always a hard thing as it is very personal, but I hope you can deal with yours!
Anything that gives you a rush is always good medicine when I'm feeling blue. I guess for everyone it can be different but I personally love to drive mountain roads at sometimes stupid speeds. The rush it gives you is rather nice, and the view at the top of a mountain is priceless.
Music that you can relate to is also very helpful. Really anything that keeps your mind distracted from those dark thoughts...
Eventually, through time and hopefully other "good" life experiences will you be able to put those thoughts behind you and realize there's more to life than to wallow over certain situations.
Another thing that always helps is to go for a run until you are dead tired. You will be so out of it all you can think about is relaxing and sleep.
On nights that you stay up all night and barely get any sun I would advise you to take a vitamin D supplement which, at least for me gives me a nice boost in positive energy.
I remember been depressed. Probably the worst moments of my life. You see everything negatively and you don't develop and miss on opportunities to pursue your goals.
Usually seeking help is the best option but you have to get on with life in order to do something for yourself. Try doing little things that you can do and you will begin to value yourself a bit more. For every little success always celebrate it and tell everyone. Friends help out heaps too especially if they are positive. Looking at the bigger picture and working hard at something will slowly bring you out of the depression slump.
I'm 20 and in my 8th year of depression. I know how hard it can be. It's good that you've been talking with someone. That can be a very hard part of it for some. I hope you find some answers you are looking for!
On April 20 2012 15:24 Teejing wrote: My opinion in short: Less chemy more natural medicine and listen to yourself. Meditation can help =)
This is true, but natural medicine (for a big part) is for taking the edge off of minor depression. Major depression and anxiety disorder might need something stronger to get you in a better place to help yourself.
I'm sorry, I cannot help you as i'm only 17 year old, and most of us "think" we're depressed when in reality. You have expressed to us what real depression is. I hope you feel better man, I hope the fact that people in teamliquid supports you and hope you are cured from depression.
That goes for you too Tyler, never forget your fans are worried.
I never allowed myself to say or think "I'm depressed" but there was a year where I probably was. My dad and my closest friend died within a couple months of each other. Playing video games is the worst thing you can do. Your psychiatrist is a quack.
What you do is exercise every single fucking day and start eating right. DO NOT chill alone in your basement and play sc2. Go out and meet some girls or a friend. If you have no friends go make some. Don't talk about the dark shit in your life just try and have some fun. Bad shit happens and you need to man up and soldier on. Get angry at yourself for being weak and allowing yourself to wallow in self pity. You don't have a disease, you are just being a pussy. 5 billion people have it worse than you and they don't cry about it.
Try everything you can (especially working out and exercise every day) before you resort to drugs. Those things are no good for you. Psychiatrists and doctors are just legal drug pushers making bank for pharma companies. Unless you have some debilitating mental illness like being bi polar or something it's not worth the side effects and damage they do to your brain.
Don't mean to be harsh but that's how I pulled myself out of it. I'm widely known now as the most positive and happy person around. I get hot bitches, the girls in my office flirt with me shamelessly, and I can take a good jab with my head held high. Every single day is the best day of my life, regardless of what happened yesterday. It's like turning on a light switch and it all goes away. Just fucking do it. Make it a point of honor for yourself. I WILL NOT WALLOW IN MY OWN SELF PITY. If you can do that you will love yourself, and so will everyone else.
Just as an addendum i thought i would mention that 9 months ago I had a dirtbike accident and broke my left tibia and my right calcaneous. I didn't walk for 6 months. I didn't stop smiling even once. My girlfriend and family got mad at me. I remeber my Gf basically screaming at me something along the lines of "don't you care our lives are like this". LOL I totally didn't tho. nothing can bring me down. Nothing. Being able to say that and the pride it fills me with is what I use to push on and be happy.
I've been dealing with it in some capacity for the last 10 years or so. I never admitted it to anyone until a couple months ago and tried to just rough it out and no matter what I tried it didn't work. Of course every case is different, sometimes it can be caused by nothing at all or as in your case some traumatic experiences.
Exercise, diet and sunlight exposure are supposed to be the big 3 things most people need to improve but of course there is a good chance that won't "cure" it just make you feel better to some degree. Along with those getting professional help is the best thing you can do, even if it's just seeing a psychiatrist to have someone you know you can talk to in confidence.
The other things that help me get through particularly tough times are music and comedy. Depending on what kind of music I feel it helps me express myself and get some things out that I'm not usually able to. The comedy is just to take my mind completely off whatever is stressing me or making me feel down and just have a good laugh.
I'm not sure what else I can say as I'm just going through the medicine route myself and the results have been a bit underwhelming but best of luck to you!
edit: forgot 1 thing. I don't think I'd still be around today without having some great friends+family. Even if you really don't feel like it make time for your friends and family.
Here's how I dealt with it with some easy steps: 1. Spend more time outside, preferrably in nature. 2. Magnesium and vitamin D. 3. Fix the root of the problem, not the symptoms. This one is obviously the hardest and you have to do it in your own way. But the above two steps can help out a lot. 4. Share your troubles with friends or family. Unlike doctors they can open up to you and share their own troubles, and that might make yours seem easyer to go through. 5. Smile! The brain associates smiling with happiness, so if you smile, even if there is no reason for it, your brain gets tricked into thinking you're happy and releases the correct chemicals for that. 6. I think this is the best one. EMPATHY. You feel down because you are very emphatic (not nativ english, excuse my poor spelling) and you see a lot of sick people. Simply watch feel good movies, hang out with cheerful people, and it will eventually rub off onto you.
Good luck. here, have some love >:D< you seem like you need it
edit: And enternal shadow is not exactly an upbeat username, haha
On April 20 2012 17:30 Kilocide wrote: I never allowed myself to say or think "I'm depressed" but there was a year where I probably was. My dad and my closest friend died within a couple months of each other. Playing video games is the worst thing you can do. Your psychiatrist is a quack.
What you do is exercise every single fucking day and start eating right. DO NOT chill alone in your basement and play sc2. Go out and meet some girls or a friend. If you have no friends go make some. Don't talk about the dark shit in your life just try and have some fun. Bad shit happens and you need to man up and soldier on. Get angry at yourself for being weak and allowing yourself to wallow in self pity. You don't have a disease, you are just being a pussy. 5 billion people have it worse than you and they don't cry about it.
Try everything you can (especially working out and exercise every day) before you resort to drugs. Those things are no good for you. Psychiatrists and doctors are just legal drug pushers making bank for pharma companies. Unless you have some debilitating mental illness like being bi polar or something it's not worth the side effects and damage they do to your brain.
Don't mean to be harsh but that's how I pulled myself out of it. I'm widely known now as the most positive and happy person around. I get hot bitches, the girls in my office flirt with me shamelessly, and I can take a good jab with my head held high. Every single day is the best day of my life, regardless of what happened yesterday. It's like turning on a light switch and it all goes away. Just fucking do it. Make it a point of honor for yourself. I WILL NOT WALLOW IN MY OWN SELF PITY. If you can do that you will love yourself, and so will everyone else.
Just as an addendum i thought i would mention that 9 months ago I had a dirtbike accident and broke my left tibia and my right calcaneous. I didn't walk for 6 months. I didn't stop smiling even once. My girlfriend and family got mad at me. I remeber my Gf basically screaming at me something along the lines of "don't you care our lives are like this". LOL I totally didn't tho. nothing can bring me down. Nothing. Being able to say that and the pride it fills me with is what I use to push on and be happy.
I tried to write a well-thought out response but I don't have enough time. Basically, this is just ignorant. This is someone without depression/anxiety talking about how great he thinks he is, then gives example of things that shouldn't make him depressed, and how they didn't :/ If SC relaxes him he should do it. Exercise probably won't do much, since this sounds like major depression, but it wouldn't hurt.
As for going out to meet people and surround yourself in friends, that depends. It can also make things worse. If you have a fairly introverted personality is can even be destructive. Drugs can also be very helpful. Can they cure you? No, but they can help you help yourself.
I know this isn't a real statement from Kilocide (I hope), and hopefully no one takes it seriously. There is a lot of bad advice in here. It's similiar to someone healthy spouting nonsense about how he never got cancer or heart disease 'cuz he's just too damn tough, and you're doctor doesn't get it. "Trans fats didn't give me a heart attack!" It's nonsense.
In my opinion repeating/lasting anxiety leads to depression. So you need to get rid of the anxiety.
Further I tend to think anxiety is composed of two elements: 1. Physiological element - not enough muscle/body stimulation, often leading to physical pain(e.g. back pain/muscle tension...). 2. Psychological element - not enough mental stimulation, often leading to boredom and deprivation.
To avoid physiological problems, you need to do some sport at least a couple of times a week. It really doesn't matter whether it's jogging, tennis or weight lifting. Do what you enjoy the most, but do it regularly.
In order to get rid of the psychological problems it's necessary to have constant mental stimulation. Now this may be a new hobby or new friends, doesn't really matter, you just need to try something new - don't feel pressure that you have to perform well at it. Just do something you always wanted to do, maybe make a list of things you would like to try till you die and go for it. Another important thing to note is if you have a stereotypical routine you need to break it. For example you come home from work but you feel tired to do anything so you end up watching telly.. no you need to go out or do something creative. Try to meet new people every day(I mean not your hospital's patients), normal people at a bar setting or something, this does not have to lead to friendship but it definitely improves your mindset.
Finally I think that's why sex is kind of good, because it destroys both of these symptoms. But if you lose it you may that easily go on the depression road - so that's why it's good to have a backup plan.
Hey man. I went through five years of mental illness. A combination of anxiety and depression.
I really recommend this book (you can purchase it on google books and read it right away). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has good, scientific evidence that it is effective. I'm sure someone of your intelligence will take to it right away. CBT is about identifying the way you feel and then going another step to identify the thoughts that are related to those feelings. It's not the easiest thing. But hell, neither is SC2!
Google search for:
Beat The Blues Before They Beat You: How to Overcome Depression
Dr. Robert Leahy
I really hope you check this book, or other CBT books out. CBT worked for me. It has worked for hundreds of thousands of other people (and probably people not nearly as bright as you!). CBT really is the strategic way of dealing with this challenge.
do vipassana meditation, its like self-psychotherapy. from your post i gather that you are too self-centered, so diminishing the ego might be what you need. if you have the time, give it a try, its free
On April 20 2012 17:30 Kilocide wrote: I never allowed myself to say or think "I'm depressed" but there was a year where I probably was. My dad and my closest friend died within a couple months of each other. Playing video games is the worst thing you can do. Your psychiatrist is a quack.
What you do is exercise every single fucking day and start eating right. DO NOT chill alone in your basement and play sc2. Go out and meet some girls or a friend. If you have no friends go make some. Don't talk about the dark shit in your life just try and have some fun. Bad shit happens and you need to man up and soldier on. Get angry at yourself for being weak and allowing yourself to wallow in self pity. You don't have a disease, you are just being a pussy. 5 billion people have it worse than you and they don't cry about it.
Try everything you can (especially working out and exercise every day) before you resort to drugs. Those things are no good for you. Psychiatrists and doctors are just legal drug pushers making bank for pharma companies. Unless you have some debilitating mental illness like being bi polar or something it's not worth the side effects and damage they do to your brain.
Don't mean to be harsh but that's how I pulled myself out of it. I'm widely known now as the most positive and happy person around. I get hot bitches, the girls in my office flirt with me shamelessly, and I can take a good jab with my head held high. Every single day is the best day of my life, regardless of what happened yesterday. It's like turning on a light switch and it all goes away. Just fucking do it. Make it a point of honor for yourself. I WILL NOT WALLOW IN MY OWN SELF PITY. If you can do that you will love yourself, and so will everyone else.
Just as an addendum i thought i would mention that 9 months ago I had a dirtbike accident and broke my left tibia and my right calcaneous. I didn't walk for 6 months. I didn't stop smiling even once. My girlfriend and family got mad at me. I remeber my Gf basically screaming at me something along the lines of "don't you care our lives are like this". LOL I totally didn't tho. nothing can bring me down. Nothing. Being able to say that and the pride it fills me with is what I use to push on and be happy.
I tried to write a well-thought out response but I don't have enough time. Basically, this is just ignorant. This is someone without depression/anxiety talking about how great he thinks he is, then gives example of things that shouldn't make him depressed, and how they didn't :/ If SC relaxes him he should do it. Exercise probably won't do much, since this sounds like major depression, but it wouldn't hurt.
As for going out to meet people and surround yourself in friends, that depends. It can also make things worse. If you have a fairly introverted personality is can even be destructive. Drugs can also be very helpful. Can they cure you? No, but they can help you help yourself.
I know this isn't a real statement from Kilocide (I hope), and hopefully no one takes it seriously. There is a lot of bad advice in here. It's similiar to someone healthy spouting nonsense about how he never got cancer or heart disease 'cuz he's just too damn tough, and you're doctor doesn't get it. "Trans fats didn't give me a heart attack!" It's nonsense.
TLDR:
Some people are stupid, LISTEN TO YOUR DOCTOR!
I meant every word of it. firstly you'll pardon me if I don't take seriously the summary diagnosis of a 20 year old child who thinks he's been depressed since he was 12. Secondly, I'm not sure how having your father die and then your closest friend get pasted across a 4 lane road in a motorcycle accident aren't significant enough events to cause depression but they seem sufficient enough to me. Not to mention you should try being bed ridden for 6 months because every person I know seems fairly convinced they would be a pile of goo as a result. Going on to say exercise probably won't help him because he has major depression in your expert opinion after reading 2 paragraphs he wrote in a sc2 forum also seems fairly retarded. there is also no realistic comparison to be made between what I said and the dumb as shit example of the heart attck that you gave.
I can understand your bias here, but seriously stfu. I don't discout the possibility of people having severe and uncontrollable depression that requires heavy medication and treatment, but it's also true that some people just want to be victims and wallow in self pity. He should try diet and exercise and getting out of the house before he lets a shrink tell him to take these drugs and play video games. I have unfortunately had several brushes with serious mental illness and these depression stories don't measure up. If you are an otherwise healthy person who's wallowing in self pity, you need to shake it off. Your outlook is powerful. You do not have a disease. MS is a disease.
finally, I do think I'm pretty great. I'm really proud of my mental strength in this regard. I don't have any problem patting myself on the back for it, especially considering the dark place I was in. The OP wanted to hear about our own personal experiences and I just gave it to him straight with no BS.You don't want to believe I was depressed and shook it off because then you'll have to face responsibility for your own shit. it's a lot easier to tell yourself you have some horrible affliction and it isn't your lifestyle or the decisions you make or your own weakness. If you want to tell yourself you've got a disease that is uncontrollable and you're a victim of it forever go ahead, but wether that's true or not you aren't doing yourself any favors.
With all that being said, if a positive outlook, diet, exercise and strength of will doesn't help and shit gets worse.... obviously you need to do what you have to do to get it under control. My hope is that this isn't the case for the OP the same way it wasn't for me.
sc2 will not help , you need progressive / constructive improvement. guitar/gym is great your job wont help either, unless you go for radiology stress from shitty job = like 85% of our problem imo
While I think your general train of thought is fine, this statement just isn't. I've worked with dozens of psychiatrists and psychologists over the past years and a lot of them are plain and simple incompetent. This goes for both Germany and the USA, I've had lot better experiences when it comes to doctors from France and England.
Don't listen to your doctor. Ask your doctor, evaluate his opinion and use your common sense and experience on top of that. Most of them either don't have the time to evaluate your case correctly, they don't care because that's not what they get paid for or they, for various reasons, lack the actual capacity to treat you. Finding a good or even great doctor in that field is hard.
ESPECIALLY when you waited so long that you're at the point where you aren't able to do anything but trust a "professional opinion", make sure to ask around a lot before you settle for someone. Don't feel bad about leaving and looking for another one if you don't feel comfortable.
Specifically on topic, personally I'm very skeptic when the first thing the doctor does is throw some meds at you. Yes, there are cases where this is what makes the most sense, but yours doesn't sound like one from what you told us. Simple as that.
Edit: I just realized what advice that doctor gave you. Change him. asap. Someone who recommends doing things that ALL mean that you should sit in your basement and do them alone is no one I can take seriously on this matter. Let me lean myself out the window a little bit, give this one a thought: Your REAL problem is that you trust a random fucker with stupid advice (you're most likely aware of that because of your job, you're just denying it) over yourself. - Let's change the topic a little bit. Let me not ask why you are depressed, but instead: Why are you as confident as you are?
PS: My gf just recognized your nickname, loved your stories. =P
Two things I can recommend are CBT and mindfulness meditation. Specifically the book Feeling Good, the New Mood Therapy by David Burns and anything by Jon Kabat-Zinn for mindfulness.
I've never taken medication but even if I did I don't think a sample size of one would be of any interest. Anyone who wants to know how well they work should critically evaluate the literature for themselves IMO.
There is some clearly bad advice in the thread though. Don't smoke weed to fight depression LOL. Same with alcohol. (If going out means binge drinking, it might not be the right step) Keeping busy might be a good advice for some, but if you're feeling stressed and overworked it's probably not the right advice for you.
Just be happy and don't think about bad stuff is great advice. If you can follow it your depression disappears immediately Seriously, the problem with it is that it doesn't tell you how. It's like saying the way to get better at SC2 to do the same stuff faster and make better decisions. Duh. The question is how.
Depression is a huge umbrella term and even major depression works differently from person to person. The thing I like about CBT and meditation that it focuses on exploring your own inner space before trying to fix stuff.
On April 20 2012 17:30 Kilocide wrote: I never allowed myself to say or think "I'm depressed" but there was a year where I probably was. My dad and my closest friend died within a couple months of each other. Playing video games is the worst thing you can do. Your psychiatrist is a quack.
What you do is exercise every single fucking day and start eating right. DO NOT chill alone in your basement and play sc2. Go out and meet some girls or a friend. If you have no friends go make some. Don't talk about the dark shit in your life just try and have some fun. Bad shit happens and you need to man up and soldier on. Get angry at yourself for being weak and allowing yourself to wallow in self pity. You don't have a disease, you are just being a pussy. 5 billion people have it worse than you and they don't cry about it.
Try everything you can (especially working out and exercise every day) before you resort to drugs. Those things are no good for you. Psychiatrists and doctors are just legal drug pushers making bank for pharma companies. Unless you have some debilitating mental illness like being bi polar or something it's not worth the side effects and damage they do to your brain.
Don't mean to be harsh but that's how I pulled myself out of it. I'm widely known now as the most positive and happy person around. I get hot bitches, the girls in my office flirt with me shamelessly, and I can take a good jab with my head held high. Every single day is the best day of my life, regardless of what happened yesterday. It's like turning on a light switch and it all goes away. Just fucking do it. Make it a point of honor for yourself. I WILL NOT WALLOW IN MY OWN SELF PITY. If you can do that you will love yourself, and so will everyone else.
Just as an addendum i thought i would mention that 9 months ago I had a dirtbike accident and broke my left tibia and my right calcaneous. I didn't walk for 6 months. I didn't stop smiling even once. My girlfriend and family got mad at me. I remeber my Gf basically screaming at me something along the lines of "don't you care our lives are like this". LOL I totally didn't tho. nothing can bring me down. Nothing. Being able to say that and the pride it fills me with is what I use to push on and be happy.
I tried to write a well-thought out response but I don't have enough time. Basically, this is just ignorant. This is someone without depression/anxiety talking about how great he thinks he is, then gives example of things that shouldn't make him depressed, and how they didn't :/ If SC relaxes him he should do it. Exercise probably won't do much, since this sounds like major depression, but it wouldn't hurt.
As for going out to meet people and surround yourself in friends, that depends. It can also make things worse. If you have a fairly introverted personality is can even be destructive. Drugs can also be very helpful. Can they cure you? No, but they can help you help yourself.
I know this isn't a real statement from Kilocide (I hope), and hopefully no one takes it seriously. There is a lot of bad advice in here. It's similiar to someone healthy spouting nonsense about how he never got cancer or heart disease 'cuz he's just too damn tough, and you're doctor doesn't get it. "Trans fats didn't give me a heart attack!" It's nonsense.
TLDR:
Some people are stupid, LISTEN TO YOUR DOCTOR!
I meant every word of it. firstly you'll pardon me if I don't take seriously the summary diagnosis of a 20 year old child who thinks he's been depressed since he was 12. Secondly, I'm not sure how having your father die and then your closest friend get pasted across a 4 lane road in a motorcycle accident aren't significant enough events to cause depression but they seem sufficient enough to me. Not to mention you should try being bed ridden for 6 months because every person I know seems fairly convinced they would be a pile of goo as a result. Going on to say exercise probably won't help him because he has major depression in your expert opinion after reading 2 paragraphs he wrote in a sc2 forum also seems fairly retarded. there is also no realistic comparison to be made between what I said and the dumb as shit example of the heart attck that you gave.
I can understand your bias here, but seriously stfu. I don't discout the possibility of people having severe and uncontrollable depression that requires heavy medication and treatment, but it's also true that some people just want to be victims and wallow in self pity. He should try diet and exercise and getting out of the house before he lets a shrink tell him to take these drugs and play video games. I have unfortunately had several brushes with serious mental illness and these depression stories don't measure up. If you are an otherwise healthy person who's wallowing in self pity, you need to shake it off. Your outlook is powerful. You do not have a disease. MS is a disease.
finally, I do think I'm pretty great. I'm really proud of my mental strength in this regard. I don't have any problem patting myself on the back for it, especially considering the dark place I was in. The OP wanted to hear about our own personal experiences and I just gave it to him straight with no BS.You don't want to believe I was depressed and shook it off because then you'll have to face responsibility for your own shit. it's a lot easier to tell yourself you have some horrible affliction and it isn't your lifestyle or the decisions you make or your own weakness. If you want to tell yourself you've got a disease that is uncontrollable and you're a victim of it forever go ahead, but whether that's true or not you aren't doing yourself any favors.
With all that being said, if a positive outlook, diet, exercise and strength of will doesn't help and shit gets worse.... obviously you need to do what you have to do to get it under control. My hope is that this isn't the case for the OP the same way it wasn't for me.
Thank you for replying. I'm glad that you don't discount the possibility of people with severe and uncontrollable depression, but your first post seemed to say otherwise. I'm glad I was wrong that you thought that. People do throw pity parties, but I think you jumped to conclusions. Some people do have a severe chemical imbalance, and it seemed like you disregarded that possibility. I'm sorry if I misunderstood. Diet and exercise can help as well, but you made it seem like it was a cure all (when combined with "bitches"). After your second post, I agree with a lot of what you're saying. So, yeah.
Dear UmbraaeternuS, Depression is a part of every man's life.I've had my fair share of depression along my 22 years of life.I can tell you one thing,if you dont help yourself,noone can help you.Try to force yourself to be happy,smile on purpose if u will,spoil yourself with tasty food and force yourself to eat it slow and enjoy every bite of it.Go for a walk and force yourself away from the thoughts that have been bothering you.Since you are interested in neurology i would recommend you to smoke some weed just to let the stress off (you are an educated man,you should know a spliff or two would never hurt somebody,but will 100% help you relax).Try to listen to music that gets you energized,try to listen to a lot of music,it helps.
There's one thing you should know though.You have one life.Humanity has explored millions of light years away and still hasnt found a life form even remotely close to your uniqueness.And you've had the luck to be born in the age of information and you can be the human being you want to be if you really want it.Dont miss your chance,dont live a life in sadness,because noone could ever return to you the time you are wasting.You wont get another shot,thats the horrible truth.Get on your feet asap,get your mentality straight and live your life to its fullest(Whatever that means for you,because it means different for every human being).Wish you all the best bro!
On April 20 2012 22:39 bGr.MetHiX wrote: Dear UmbraaeternuS, Depression is a part of every man's life.I've had my fair share of depression along my 22 years of life.I can tell you one thing,if you dont help yourself,noone can help you.Try to force yourself to be happy,smile on purpose if u will,spoil yourself with tasty food and force yourself to eat it slow and enjoy every bite of it.Go for a walk and force yourself away from the thoughts that have been bothering you.Since you are interested in neurology i would recommend you to smoke some weed just to let the stress off (you are an educated man,you should know a spliff or two would never hurt somebody,but will 100% help you relax).Try to listen to music that gets you energized,try to listen to a lot of music,it helps.
There's one thing you should know though.You have one life.Humanity has explored millions of light years away and still hasnt found a life form even remotely close to your uniqueness.And you've had the luck to be born in the age of information and you can be the human being you want to be if you really want it.Dont miss your chance,dont live a life in sadness,because noone could ever return to you the time you are wasting.You wont get another shot,thats the horrible truth.Get on your feet asap,get your mentality straight and live your life to its fullest(Whatever that means for you,because it means different for every human being).Wish you all the best bro!
You are stating that clinical depressin is the same as being depressed. This is plain wrong.
Weed is a bad idea for most of the people who are really depressed. If "listening to some music and going for a walk" would fix issues like this as easily as you describe it, it's not a depression.
Random addition: Humanity has not explored millions of light years away when it comes to finding so called "intelligent" life forms.
While your intentions might be awesome, you, and most people who recommend similar "solutions" have no idea what a depression really is.
ive never been depressed, but when im sad what really helps me is music. im just taking a nice walk through the forest listening to music. kim kwang seok is my personal favourite for that + Show Spoiler +
his music is so damn sad but somehow its giving hope just what helps me in such situations
18, had depression since I was 14. I don't have much advice, or much to add but this is what I've got to share. The only thing that has ever helped me is finding a friend that I can trust, and telling them everything about how I feel. I feel like I've been trapped inside my own head and my own thoughts for years, so sometimes it feels good to try and share them with someone else. Of course this isn't a perfect solution... they won't actually understand how you're feeling, and telling them doesn't actually right any of the wrongs that cause depression. Life can seem really hopeless sometimes. I hope you're feeling OK right now though.
I've never suffered from depression, it would be disingenuous for me to say I had. To be honest I' be sceptical if a lot of "depressed" people are truly depressed. But for me I always find the best way to recover is to just try as hard as you can to enjoy the little things. I find this ending to Scrubs hits it best:
Whilst a sitcom the protagonist is in a similar, if imaginary, situation to yours. Skip to 9 minutes for the real message.
Since it seems like lingering grief over losing your friend is a big factor in your depression, I highly recommend the book, "the grief recovery handbook." It has a series of very concrete exercises to help you think about, and deal with grief, even when a long time has passed.
There are groups organized around the book, but not sure if you can find one near you. Best of luck!
It may seem dumb, but I found my comfort in darkness. I was sure that the pain would not pass and that the emptiness wouldn't stop creeping behind me so I just started filling my mind all the time with things to do, be it reading, playing, writing, going out with your friends even when deep down you just wanna stay at home and lay down. Basically everyday I force myself up when I don't want to wake up and force myself to do things when I want to do nothing, when I'd act all grumpy with my family, I smile instead. I am a happy person today.
I don't know shit about you though, this is just how things went for me. Good luck.
Having to deal with a death of a loved one at a young age is always a difficult thing to face. I am 20 years old , lost my mother at 12 from cancer , my father never a gave a shit but the worst is that he acted like he did and after my mother died he disappeared. I lived with my grandmother pretty much all my life and she was more of a mother to me than my own mother due to her working mostly , so i was raised by my grandmother and lived with her after my moms death.
4 months ago i lost my grandmother and now i am completely alone and living with my uncle and cousins. Been struggling with depression myself for 5 years now and it comes and goes but nowdays i cant even close my eyes to sleep at night without my mind going on about all the shit i ve been through and a metric shit ton of suicidal thoughts.Also, living in a country that every day that passes is closer and closer to collapsing doesnt help either...
Point of all this is that, i've been through some horrible fucking shit in my 20 years on this earth but i am still here. I struggle like you to get up in the morning and get shit done but i just keep on keeping on. Do what must be done first for your health and then think about everything else.
Also as many above said, working out and spending more time doing things that you enjoy will help immensely!
UmbraaeternuS Thank you for sharing these words and your story. It sounds a lot like mine just different circumstances. I became depressed at the young age of 13, I always fit in, always had friends, always well liked but I couldnt shake this depression.
I am 23 now, I am a semi famous musician In Australia ( born and raised in Canada moved to Oz 21). I only work a few days a week, but I am around other musicians who are depressed or generally crazy musicians. Still the same depression, still the same battle every day, every morning.
That is my story shortened as much as possible. I notice a lot of people here are giving you advice, I will do no such thing, but if you wanna chat and just talk about things I'd be more than happy to bounce ideas around.
I think there's no general advice people can give. What is good advice for one person could make things worse for another. I would have to really know you to feel confident in advice I give you. Regardless, people can give you ideas here and hopefully you'll have the wits to know what might work for you.
I've found the biggest issue in many of life's problems (depression and others) is in not believing you have any control or hope. The word 'disease' is incredibly counter-productive. It makes it sound like something your body just does, it connotates it with overwhelming death sentences like cancer, but it is really not the same thing at all even if it is classified as one by professional documentation.
You have to believe you can be happy, recognize when you're making mountains out of mole hills, and let things go more easily. You mention your friend dying then you were 9 years old. You're 26 years old now. That was 17 years ago, and you're saying it's haunted you every day since. You are being melodramatic, you don't owe that to her and you don't have to feel bad every day of your life for her. You're feeding and hanging onto those feelings, I would suspect out of another problem. You end up using her death as a scapegoat for your problems today, but that's neither fair to her nor rational.
If I had to guess, I'd say you've had patterns of negative-feeling-enhancing behaviour which you've spent the last 17 years developing, and it would help if you tried to figure out exactly what they are, then change them into something that will affect you positively. Your life doesn't have to be a dumb television drama where you never get over anything with no resolution, you can be a real person and recover.
If you are intellectual and think a lot, don't go for simple answers. Think about why you actually do the things you do. Be honest with yourself and sort out what your reasons are for hanging onto these emotions.
My dad died when I was 10, I didnt feel too bad until I was 17-18 when I started to realize how much pain I had inside.. I went really low for 1-2 years but then I woke up one day and decided to start changing my life, restarted my studies got a job started to work out and tried to meet new people.. so as many people said dude just do things for you and think positive, I say to myself that life is as good as you want it to be.
For the longest time I haven't been coping.. just sort of taking it and bottling it up and I finally talked to my family about it which I both regret and don't. I regret it because of how vulnerable and icky it made me feel -_- since opening up is really foreign to me. I feel a tad more relaxed but far from better.
I've yet to get myself a shrink but I plan to do so and hopefully it'll help me out but I'm glad I'm eat least trying to get help. I hope you get well as time goes by OP :D:D
I've dealt with depression(s) before, to make a very long story really short I lost 2 brothers, 1 sister, my dad left us when I was about 8 years old which has put us in a tough financial spot for a very long time though him leaving meant I/we didn't have to go through the daily physical abuse from him, went face first through the window when I was about 6-7, I've lost my own kid, the girlfriend took off afterwards..
Was born with diabetes, astigmatism on my eyes, have a tumor (though it's harmless) in my left knee which makes it hard to walk decently at times with my left leg.. Removing the tumor would also mean removing my whole knee which I don't consider an option. My dream has always been about going in the army, I was immediatly refused due to my diabetes...
Gave up on school for about 1.5 years after the incident of my gf getting pregnant (we were both very young and she got pregnant because we were just being reckless), tho now I do have my diploma at least, looking to get into uni in september even tho I'm 20 by now. Got news about a possible new breakthrough to get cured from diabetes completely even tho it's still like.. in the alpha stage so to speak but if all goes well, I might actually be able to get in the army after all, the whole procedure takes about 6 weeks to get cured.. (if all goes accordingly that is)
All in all, I've had a very tough life so far and I have been in a depression, my mom's been in a depression.. My views upon the world and life are anything but.. normal, I would say. But at the end, quitting or giving up isn't something I'm really familiar with and that alone is what keeps me going so..
Tried 2 other relationships after I lost my kid.. It didn't work out, then the one whom I lost my kid with showed up again but she turned out to be a slut, nothing more nothing less, has cheated on me for years, has cheated on her boyfriend she was with after we went our own separate ways.. so yeah, for now I'm like.. I don't need a gf, they only get in my way and if the medical stuff regarding diabetes works out then I'm off to the army no doubt. Living a standard, normal life isn't my thing.
I've never even thought about taking anti depressives and all that.. I think I just keep on going through sheer will power and sometimes I do feel like I'm still a bit more towards the depressive side but.. I don't allow myself to get that deep ever again.
The biggest advice I can give you is just to think positive about everything/anything or at least try to see the positive side of things.. I know that's a hard thing to do if you've been through some hardships in life but.. Giving up won't get you anywhere either.
On April 21 2012 03:08 Firereaver wrote: Lol. youre leaning towards toward Neuro and you have depressive affect!! BRO!! ONE PIECE OF ADVICE FROM A DOC TO ANOTHER: + Show Spoiler +
STEER CLEAR OF NEUROLOGY!
Are you a doc in India? MBBS? What specialty would you recommend?
Mhhh, I am manic-depressiv. In the lunatic asylum one doc actually suggested some form of treatment that gets me through the worst depressiv episodes - sleep deprivation. I just try to stay awake for 2 or 3 days and then I somehow feel better.
Exercise, diet and sunlight exposure are supposed to be the big 3 things most people need to improve but of course there is a good chance that won't "cure" it just make you feel better to some degree. Along with those getting professional help is the best thing you can do, even if it's just seeing a psychiatrist to have someone you know you can talk to in confidence.
This is actually the best advice that I've read in this thread. The biggest thing about depression is its cyclic nature, and the fact that it feeds itself.
The other advice that I have (that worked for me) is to take small steps. Do one thing each day that you can be proud of. Run one mile one day, and make sure you do it every day. Consistency of a fitness plan was the biggest thing that helped me.
Exercise, other than the "runner's high", kicks the production of BDNF (Brain Derived Neural Factor) into high gear. BDNF is highly linked with mood now, like serotonin used to be in the past. It also helps you gain confidence in yourself, and makes it easier to look in the mirror and like what you're looking at.
Diet can affect mood as well. Eating healthier has obvious physical mood effects, but sometimes, if a diet's unhealthy enough, it really throws the hormonal balance into whack. This is one of the things that can only help your situation.
Sunlight exposure increases Vitamin D, but another side effect of it is that you're going outside. You're seeing other people. You're forced into a situation where you're not isolating yourself.
Have you ever dealt with depression, fellow TL users? How have you coped with it? What are your experiences on the matter? -------------------------------------
It's almost 5 in the morning, so I think this is going to be one of those posts.
I don't have clinical depression. I have PTSD. Depression is one of several symptoms of PTSD; it's part of what makes diagnosing it in young adults and children difficult. You look and act like a depressed kid with standard kid clinical depression, so it's depression, or some other mood disorder, but then there's paranoia and a lot of other things so they bounce around with diagnosis until it comes out, "oh you were sexually abused for a while when you were really little...oh. You have PTSD. Everything makes sense."
I tried dealing with the depression (and other things) by fighting it. By arguing with it; with myself, arguing in my head, screaming at myself. It does not work. I tried to deal with the symptoms as a way of fixing it, because I couldn't figure out how to "fix" me. It's important to do, but it's a temporary fix. It's important to know how to cope. To distract yourself with things, to find friends to hang out with, to color. Coloring is silly, but it distracts you. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just sink into something and distract yourself with it. Again, it's not going to FIX it, but part of coping is knowing how to deal with situations when they happen, not just fixing the issue as a whole.
Everything is a tool in the end. Therapy, medication, different habits, different diet, different schedules. They're all tools. They're tools that you have to accept needing to use when you can't fix things by yourself. And they're tools that can't help you; you use the tools to help yourself. A lot of people go to therapy expecting that their therapist is just going to fix them or make them better or a better or different person; it's silly. You fix you. A big part of it is really wanting to get better and change, and being willing to do whatever that means. For a lot of time I thought that's what I wanted. To get better, to be normal, to be happy. I would scream it. If you walked up to me and told me I just didn't want it really I probably would have screamed at you, or hit you.
I didn't though, at the time. Really what I wanted was for it to stop. I didn't care about myself and I didn't care if I got better; I wasn't loved and I didn't have a reason or purpose for existing. I was dirty. I still am dirty. It wasn't until I was ready to want to get better until any of the tools at my disposal could achieve that goal. That to me is the biggest part of getting better. Knowing yourself and what you really want. Granted, again, PTSD is not depression; depression is just one of the symptoms of PTSD and they are different, even if there is overlap. I believe it is a critical part of any problem though.
--
As far as tools go:
For coping: In short, do whatever you need to to feels safe. part of depression can involve sinking yourself into a hole you don't want to come out of; but again, sometimes that hole might be the best place to be. It's up to you knowing yourself to know when you need to stay there, and when you WANT to stay there, but really need to get the fuck out and fight it (which is difficult to know). As a list though: -Color -Find a hobby -Paint -Draw -Listen to Music -Play with rice (like. fucking uncooked rice) -Legos -Erector Sets -Doodle -Watch a movie or TV -Call someone -Make silly blogs -Make Cooking or Instructional blogs -Bake something -Play with something cold -Take a bath -Take a shower -Sit in a pool -Stretch/Stretching Exercises (slow/rhythmic) -Read -All for the purpose of just distracting your senses. You're redirecting your brain through your five senses.
On Therapy: The most important thing above wanting to go in the first place is knowing WHY you want to go. What is your goal, what are you trying to achieve, and WHY are you trying to achieve it. In terms of finding a therapist, you should see: -Whatever gender you're more comfortable with (it matters) -Someone who you feel like you can trust talking to (may take a while to see either way) -Someone you're comfortable around -Someone who you feel can be honest with you (you aren't there to always be babied, though you aren't there to get your shit kicked in every day either probably) And if they don't meet those things...go find someone else.
On Diet, sleep, and exercise: Diet sleep and exercise are vital to being healthy. And if you aren't healthy your brain isnt going to be healthy either. And! For funsies, if you're missing one of the three things of that triangle, the other two are going to get fucked up too. -Im not going to go into "what" to eat, but I'm going to say you need to eat regularly. Whatever regularly is for you. In general snacking irregularly is bad. In general Eating one meal a day is terrible. In general you don't want to go from eating at three in the morning and then noon to eating at 5am then 12pm then 5pm then the next day going crazy. whatever you do, make it your pattern. -Regular sleep is important. Being awake during the day is better for your brain than being awake all night. I don't care if you're a night owl or a nocturnal person. no people are actually nocturnal. Humans arent. you're brain is healthier being awake during the day and asleep during the night. Again, regular schedule. You go to sleep basically at the same time every night and wake up at basically the same time every day. Sleeping too little, or too much, or not at all, are terrible. -Exercise is important. Endorphins are wonderful. Having a nice body is good for your self esteem. Beyond the obvious, as much as it might suck balls to start exercising or do any kind of physical activity for leisure, you actually get used to it pretty quickly and your body begins expecting it. It becomes a habit that you enjoy doing, which beyond the exercise itself, is also good for your head.
On medication: I hate medication. I hated taking it. I hated everything about it. As soon as I didn't feel I absolutely needed it anymore I stopped taking it. But that's the important part. When you need it you need it. It's just like a headache, or a broken arm, or a cold. Something is wrong with your head, and you need to take something to make it better. There's no use in stubbornness or pride and "I'm going to make myself better and I don't need any damn pills!" If you think it's a placebo you think it's a placebo. Great. take your damn medicine. If you dont think it works talk to whoever prescribed it to you. If you flat don't want to take it in the end or dont think you need it...then just don't. It's that simple. But if you get prescribed it, take it. And when you decide that you're better, until you're actual psychiatrist tells you otherwise, KEEP TAKING IT.
Coping habits, triangle, medicine, therapy...I think I covered everything? Yes. I think so. Oh! It's part of coping, but, remember to talk to people when you need to, and in general. Whether it be a form of coping or just in general. People are social. Communicating is important for everyone. Babies die when they don't get enough human contact. It's why hospitals have volunteers to come in and literally hold babies for a few hours when they're abandoned. Children and young adults and adults period aren't actually any different.
I cannot recommend Ajahn Brahm enough. He is a buddhist monk. He has helped me overcome serious medical depression. You can find about three hundred of his talks online. Just watch and listen. I hope it helps.
Through overcoming depression I am feel lucky to have had it. Through the journey you can end up better knowing yourself.
On April 21 2012 09:38 HaRuHi wrote: Mhhh, I am manic-depressiv. In the lunatic asylum one doc actually suggested some form of treatment that gets me through the worst depressiv episodes - sleep deprivation. I just try to stay awake for 2 or 3 days and then I somehow feel better.
o_O is this actually something doctors recommend? that just sounds so weird that sleep deprivation actually helps in anything
On April 21 2012 09:38 HaRuHi wrote: Mhhh, I am manic-depressiv. In the lunatic asylum one doc actually suggested some form of treatment that gets me through the worst depressiv episodes - sleep deprivation. I just try to stay awake for 2 or 3 days and then I somehow feel better.
o_O is this actually something doctors recommend? that just sounds so weird that sleep deprivation actually helps in anything
Actually I've tried something similar and it really helped = sleeping each day maximum 5h. After awhile you become delirious, which will help you. No negative thoughts or emotions, they will only last a short time because of the delerium.
Sleep deprivation actually helps against a lot of mental things. iirc the theory behind it is that the brain gets focussed on the important things with less sleep. I'm not even sure if there are a lot of solid studies on this, but what I can say for me personally is that cleaning up my sleeping habits (not in WHEN but in HOW MUCH) has boosted my mood ever since.
And to the dude one above... Ajahn Brahm is actually REALLY awesome. One of his books is the single book that I literally gifted to everyone I know. You can find the english version here. (German title is "Die Kuh die weinte".)
It's probably not going to help you in the middle of a tough episode, but besides that it's a great read. Checking out the link above now. =)
Edit: To the poster above: Sleep deprivation and "cleaning up" your sleep time are two different things. For the first the goal is to actually BE sleepy during a tough episode. That's why it's especially a great tool if you're suffering from manic depression. If your depressive episodes only last a few days you can decide to sleep a lot less and push yourself through them that way. It's a short-term fix usually, not a long term.
"Cleaning up" your sleep schedule is aimed to be a longterm fix and means dealing with general hygiene in that subject. -How much sleep do I really need? (for most people the answer here is 2x2-4h, but you have to find out how big the latter number is for you personally) -If left untouched, do I have any weird things in my sleeping schedule that I should be aware of?
As an example what I did when it comes to that was trying out how I feel if I set my alarm clock to 2h,2.5h,3h,3.5h and see how I feel afterwards. Once you have a number that sounds good you test it some to verify and to learn how to include the time you need to fall asleep. As soon as you are suffering from a bit of sleep deprivation those numbers tend to stay really accurate. For me, what i found out in the long run 2:45h is absolutely perfect.
What I mean with "weird things in your sleeping schedule" use some free time (no, not in a depressive episode k thx), and sleep whenever you feel sleepy. Literally. While for most people they're going to be sleepy around 9-1 and wake up around 5-9, for some people this is different. Taking myself as an example, if I have no daily obligations my sleepschedule "pushes forward" about 2 hours per day. Each day I'd fall asleep later and wake up later. Apparently there are people for who their schedule "pushes backward" as well.
Once you are aware of that, you can combine it with the above to really clean up your sleeping habits and set alarm clocks accordingly. For me it removed any and all situations where I'm like "Urgh... have to... get up.... can't... so sleepy...." simply because I'm not interrupting my RAM-phases anymore by accident.
I used a program called "sleep scheduler" where I could input all the date where I sleep from when to when to keep it tidy and accurate, but I can't seem to find that exact program anymore. I'm sure there are more like it out there though.
Hello ,I have actualy registered on TL now after months of lurking after seeing this blogpost. I really dont know is it depression I suffer from but there are only periods(like right just now) when I feel fine ,I would often say to myself that my mind is free now. The reason for that(me feeling fine) is because a person I cherish for has visited me... That feeling will go away in the morning and the feeling that I did not acomplish anything in life and that I see aps. NO point in living will come once again. Everything I do ,I just cannot get any form of happines from it ,I do not feel satisfied at all ,not after passing hardest exams ,not after helping others ,not after knowing that I was aps. moral today ,nothing helps me. I have tried alcohol ,but it last for such a short time ,weed in this kind of mood is not helping either. I will say also that this mindset has following me for 3 years now ,constantly reminding me how hollow I feel. I have even ,now freaquently ,thought about suicide and I really want to get out! I have tried reading ,music ,art ,weight-lifting and they have all worked for a short period of time and after a while it all drains away. Can anyone recommend any form of medicine or something that helped you?! Thank you for your time.
@Exedra: Together with a doctor, you will go through a number of different medication until you find something that works for you. Weed, sports, meditation, therapy, etc. are not comparable in that regard, at least it was like that for me, and I felt exactly like you describe your situation, and I also had this for years. Things like running did only start to help after finding medication that solved that problem of not being able to derive happiness from anything.
I really think it's all up to you different things work for different people. Every single person in my immediate family has suffered from depression and each of us deal with it in completely different ways.
Easiest way to deal with depression is to kill yourself. I kill myself a little bit more each day. Waiting for the spring of rebirth to come again into my existence.
Lots of people trying to help in this thread. Nice to see. I'll throw my hat in here.
A common thread I see with a lot of people talking about depression is that they really really over analyze things. My brother is kind of like this. When something happens "it means something", or "oh, all this is starting again" or "this is a bad year for me". Which, really, is all bullshit. That is just pereception. Depressed people, from what I've seen, really tend to spend a lot of time sitting back- looking at trends of events in their life and, as you said, bitching about them like an old man.
Really, you have everything you need. You're a doctor. Life is going to be what you make of it. People die, people get hurt, things are perfect, exepect it... because that is how this world is. How this stuff can surprise people, and "depress" them is beyond me. Really man, in our position in the First world in this society, life could literally not be better. Try to appreciate it more, get lost in little things you enjoy, and don't try to sit back so much looking for the "ghost of depression" to rear its ugly head.
Asside from that, nutrition. You're a doctor so I'm sure you've heard this and know it so it's probably pointless, but I think it's the most important. Make sure you're getting all your vitamins, fiber, a good balance of sodium and potassium and try to avoid any kind of neuroactive stuff all together (alcohol, medication, drugs etc).
Best of luck man, hope you find something in this thread that helps you. You've spent a lot of your life helping people out and curing people, feel good about it!
One thing that really helped me personally was the revelation that I didn't have to change my entire life at once. It's very tempting to say to yourself "tomorrow I'm going to start living normally again," but that really just doesn't work. What I did was just add one little thing a week. Something as simple as taking the time to meditate for 15 minutes each morning is a very small commitment, and easy to keep up no matter how bad your depression is. Once you've been doing something for a week or two it no longer seems like a thing you need to worry about, it's just a part of your routine. As you gradually add on more and more small things one at a time, at some point you'll realize that your days are full of stimulating activities and if you are still depressed it really isn't affecting your life.
At least that's what I did, it won't work for everyone but it's what worked for me.
Im extremely depressed right now. Im not usually but the love of my life just left me. It might seem minimal compared to the op, but to me its seriously the worst thing thats ever happened in my entire life. Ive dealt with breakups before, but this one....this one was unprecedented, this one takes the fucking cake. I dont know what to do, im scared shitless of the coming days/weeks/months because i know i wont be able to recover from this very easily. Im not looking foward to spending time alone at my house because im currently unemployed and in between semesters, seriously....i need something. I need something to be better because im in hell. So i understand you op....i wish i could erase my memories, i wish i could just sleep forever because thats the only time im happy.
I dont get depression, not being insulting, its just how would one even know if they are depressed, its just something i have a hard time getting my head around.
OP here. I'd like to take a moment to thank all the wonderful folks who shared their experiences in this thread.
So far common denominators to help in situations like these are:
-Exercise -Eating well/Sleeping well -Meditation -Hobbies -Relationships (i.e: Friends, family, girlfriend, etc) -Good doctor/psychologist -Staying on medications
I hope this thread has been helpful to everyone who needs a hand at times of trouble. It has certainly given me a few leads, too.
Thank you for being so awesome, TL. It's so cool to see so many people worried about those not having a good time, so many people willing to help, so many people willing to share their experiences and give a few kind words.
^___^ TY folks. Really. To everyone who posted here and sent me PMs. You guys are awesome <3
On April 24 2012 01:30 UmbraaeternuS wrote: OP here. I'd like to take a moment to thank all the wonderful folks who shared their experiences in this thread.
So far common denominators to help in situations like these are:
-Exercise -Eating well/Sleeping well -Meditation -Hobbies -Relationships (i.e: Friends, family, girlfriend, etc) -Good doctor/psychologist -Staying on medications
I hope this thread has been helpful to everyone who needs a hand at times of trouble. It has certainly given me a few leads, too.
Thank you for being so awesome, TL. It's so cool to see so many people worried about those not having a good time, so many people willing to help, so many people willing to share their experiences and give a few kind words.
^___^ TY folks. Really. To everyone who posted here and sent me PMs. You guys are awesome <3
TL is a pretty cool place Dealing with depression is really really hard, the only way I managed to survive was a combination of a really good psychologist and just trying to get on with my life (with a push in the right direction from other people). Just making sure that I was active, in terms of work, social life and exercise was hugely important... I've slipped a bit in that regard, but I'm in a much better place right now.
I am feeling really down right now and i wanted to express my feelings somewhere.I don't think i am worth enough of opening up a new blog just because of this so i decided to write it here.
It hit me again , i feel terrible , alone , ugly , fat and useless.Not much to look forward to when i am in this state , i feel like i should just vanish into a dark forest or just sink into the earth.
I been trying to get in shape , look good , dress well , style my hair to improve my chances of finding a girl what might like me and would want to spend some time with me , if only for a day , i don't think i ever had that.I been trying for so long and its always the same, rejection or friendzoned.
I am losing hope , i am tired of trying , so tired . While my face and body may same to be fine , my soul is slowly dying.I envy all my friends that find a girl and she loves him back.
To me , a girl loving me back seems as impossible as seeing the end of the universe with your naked eye.I am so tired...i just want to sleep...