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Hey guys, what's up? I'm sitting alone in a huge flat in Germany ('cause I'm on vacation), it's almost midnight, I've read too much "Girl Blogs" and I am totally bored, That's why I'm writing my first blog entry. My name is Daeny, I am a young gamer girl from a very strange country and I love nerdy stuff. 'Nuff said.
But... Why am I writing a Boys Blog? Because you need to explain something to me. Just about friendzoning.
There's a "new" guy in my school (okay, for almost a year). We're good friends and I really like him. Probably in another way he likes me. But yeah. He always tells me that he wants a girlfriend, who understands him, who's playing videogames and who loves Batman. It's really funny when I'm sitting there and he tells me, that he wants to have a girlfriend who's like me.
A few days ago he said to me: "Hey, I need to tell you something" I was really excited and said: "yeah, what's up?". "I think I love Cloe" I was totally shoked. He loves a girl who's listening to Justin Bieber, making duckface and who's stupid like shit. Obviously she doesn't like him because he's too nerdy.
So tell me, why are some guys so stupid like shit?
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80% of our judgement is physical attractiveness. 20% is the other stuff. Likewise a guy can have the same complaint about a girl and of course, there are explanations for that too.
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awesome first blog. we need more gamer girls at tl welcome aboard.
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On August 06 2012 06:56 Elegance wrote: 80% of our judgement is physical attractiveness. True that. Sometimes Boys just care about what you're look like. It's totally annyoing if u're asking me.
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On August 06 2012 07:00 Xhiwi wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2012 06:56 Elegance wrote: 80% of our judgement is physical attractiveness. True that. Sometimes Boys just care about what you're look like. It's totally annyoing if u're asking me. It also backfires because guys think girls judge guys based on looks too which is total non-sense
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Be explicit. That is what I always tell my girl friends that ask me for relationship advice.
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Love wise
Opposites attract
Similars contract
+ Show Spoiler + Exceptions exist of course
TL:DR
You got friendzoned
Resolve it with surprise sex (I am not kidding)
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On August 06 2012 07:00 Xhiwi wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2012 06:56 Elegance wrote: 80% of our judgement is physical attractiveness. True that. Sometimes Boys just care about what you're look like. It's totally annyoing if u're asking me.
And sometimes girls do the same thing. Some people are way too superficial- both sexes have plenty of these people.
Anyways, OP: Did you ask him why he likes her? What are his priorities when finding a girl (maybe duckfaces trump video games)? Does she like him back? Are you going to tell him about your feelings?
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Just out of interest, why don't you make the first move if you think you're both very compatible?
gl!
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I think the idea that a boy should ask a girl is stupid. If you really like him, why don't you take matters into your own hand?
Most of the boys are really stupid too when it comes to women.
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you got friendzoned, it happens to both genders.
its possible to break out, try surprise sex as a first step.
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You say young gamer girl, dunno how old that is, but I'm thinking (based solely on that) you are like 12 or 13 lol
If you are more like a senior in High School or something (god I have no idea what international people have instead of HS) then that changes things.
Lastly are the people saying surprise sex serious or trolling, I honestly can't tell.
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he's probably more attracted to the other girl than you. it's kind of sad guys will do this especially if you are pretty as well but don't have the breasts or ass a guy is looking for, though any guy will "settle" for any girl if the girl is open enough to them.
now this sounds super mean i don't mean it to be. Guys are dicks though. women are bitches, work around it and you get love.
it could be opposite and trying to make you jealous, just be open with him and find out
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You guys suggesting surprise sex are weird. As for the OP, you have to be way more explicit wih the dude. If you do then be prepared to move on with your life if he isn't interested; a boy is ganna do what he wants so you best move on.
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On August 06 2012 07:04 The_LiNk wrote: Be explicit. That is what I always tell my girl friends that ask me for relationship advice.
hyep. Girls are often too clever for their own good with their subtle hints and vague, ambiguous statements. Sometimes you just need to grab his face and kiss him. Or don't. But at least be straightforward. Not in text or IM, but in person, tell him how you feel. Either he'll reciprocate or he won't. Such is life.
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You're saying you're exactly what he's into and you like him... If you're not extremely ugly just go for it and ask him for a date or something like that, 98% of the guys would never refuse an offer like that.
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Yeah I think every girl I've ever liked I've found really attractive too. Being explicit is good though. He'll probably start getting attracted to you. But if I'm any benchmark, he may be a douche for just following his dick. Even in high school there were boys who liked girls for other qualities.
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On August 06 2012 08:12 Antimatterz wrote: Lastly are the people saying surprise sex serious or trolling, I honestly can't tell.
Not trolling, fully serious. obviously you don't need (nor should, if you're not comfortable with it) to go all the way to full coitus, but seriously, most if not all guys appreciate girls being straight up and honest with what they want.
it's how I broke my friendzone -_-
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personally being a nerd/gamer i much rather a girl ask me out, i would love if a girl asked me out, ofc theres like no chance of that cause im ugly but if ur his friend u should know if hes a shy guy or not, and what are the chances of him asking cloe. if theyre pretty low and u could probaby tell him how u feel, and than he'll consider that ur both alike and maybe he likes ur looks and "yay" he tells u he would love to be ur boyfriend.
that surpise sex...is retarded and seems like something out a hentai movie, and i doubt u would want to do that. its more a guys fantasy than reality.
the reason why he likes cloe, is probaby because he doesnt know her well and the first thing about her is her looks, and guys go for looks first and than after a while they get to know the girl (personalitywise) and decided whether to keep or not, because hes ur friend than he knows ur good personailty so u gotta show him ur beautiful as well and im sure u are now goodluck and go get him girl!!
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You basically have the option of telling him you like him and see how it goes, or pretend guys are all mind readers and he'll eventually realize how awesome you are in comparison to the other girl. Your choice.
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Just tell him how you feel, it's not too late imo. Most guys like it when a girl takes the first step.
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o.O this might be the first boy blog I've ever come across.
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Sounds like you're jealous.
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Lol. "I think I love X," is a bad sign when that person hasn't even dated X yet (and given that you just wrote that he wants a gf ... sounds like he hasn't). Move on, find someone better.
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This is getting good haha, a very simple way of getting around this is not Suprise SEX11!!!111, but maybe a showing that your are into him. Most girls are fucking stupid about flirting, I'm gonna be honest with you here, my gf tried endlessly to flirt with me, and I'm fucking stupid about that stuff so though I noticed I never got the balls to ask her. Until I did, of course because she is my gf. One thing that I have to say is a big deal with girls is this EWW, he likes a chick with like No brain and all boobs and ass, but she like, duckfaces n shit!!111!!. Well yeah ofc we do, lol, have you seen her butt?? The thing about guys is that we are attracted to physical things, we are attracted to youth first and foremost and then features that provide us with the sense of health, big boobs and big butts are a sign of that, it shows that they are not starving and that they are health , in the right places. This is chauvenistic, yeah its shallow, but girls do it too. I doubt you have ever heard girls not talk about how they want a dude with a large penis, or even more popular, height and fitness, its pretty similar, its not like that will make or break a relationship, but its something some girls look for also.
IF you look at it from that superficial way, you will pretty much get as many hook ups as you want, and you will pretty much understand how most relationships work. Now if you want a "mature" relationship, that requires personality as well, and that is kind a more difficult thing to pin point, opposites attract for flings but birds of a feather fly together for long term things. IF you like this guy, just go and kiss him and tell him you do, don't make your life and his life hard, by telling him on fb and not talking to him unless he says yes.
In my post I'm assuming you are about 13 since you said young, if you are about 17-20 I'm sure you get my post a bit more since most of it comes with time.
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I've never read a boy blog I don't even know how to respond. Most girl blogs can be resolved simply by "manning up." Do I tell you to man up? Does "manning up" even apply here?
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Maybe him telling you he wants a girlfriend like you was his lame attempt to tell you he likes you? But now since you didn't pick up on it he assumes you don't like him so he's looking elsewhere. I feel like that's something I might have done back in high school. Could be wrong. But I agree with everyone else that you should tell him how you feel. Ask him on a date and I would bet he won't say no. A girl asked me on a date in high school and I immediately said yes without thinking even though I wasn't emotionally attracted to her.
Thanks for writing this blog! It's always nice to hear from the female population here on tl.
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Not sure if it's possible to be friendzoned by a guy. Sounds kind of hard. Disregard the surprise sex people. Unless you're butt ugly, you should basically just tell him that you like him. Of course, you would need to do this after he gets over Chloe, as he will be too distracted by his attraction towards her to care about other options that much. You could also play the waiting game, and wait for him to ask you out. Your choice. Also, your english is pretty good for a non-native speaker.
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Guys only date girls they are sexually attracted to...
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if you are overweight (fat) then that is the number 1 problem
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On August 06 2012 11:25 Sinensis wrote: I've never read a boy blog I don't even know how to respond. Most girl blogs can be resolved simply by "manning up." Do I tell you to man up? Does "manning up" even apply here?
womaning up grow some ovaries etc
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Guys heavily value looks over compatibility/personality/intelligence, especially early when they're single, horny and looking. Later in relationships it becomes a lot more balanced. If you can somehow get him to see you in a sexual way then the rest should be cake cause he already likes you for everything else.
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On August 06 2012 13:12 Scarecrow wrote: Guys heavily value looks over compatibility/personality/intelligence, especially early when they're single, horny and looking. Later in relationships it becomes a lot more balanced. If you can somehow get him to see you in a sexual way then the rest should be cake cause he already likes you for everything else. Yeah, which is why people were suggesting the surprise sex.
Shame all the weird white knights had to come and try to show how understanding of women they are and ruined it.
Guys are generally way less picky than girls, as evolution dictates they should be. They respond very highly to demonstrations of interest from girls, especially nerdier, shyer guys.
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You want the man? Use your femininity. That will get him to you incredibly quick, especially if he's shy. Seeing as you are so compatible, it should be good. This obviously fails if you are somehow unattractive to him (as FFgenerations said, being overweight almost always is a major turn off). Unfair I suppose but such is the reality of life, and looks matter a lot to teenage guys. You could also always make the first move, which might work if he is very very shy, however if he is really into this other woman you would have no chance and would be better off waiting it out. Anyways, your best bet is flirting (slightly physically), as if he's not into you he could chalk it up to you being weird and you wouldn't get a straight up rejection. On the other hand, if he is receptive to it, it is an almost surefire sign that he's into you. Bottom line, with teenagers SEX SELLS.
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around how old is the op, cause some people are saying like 12-13, but she lives in a flat by herself so maybe hes like 18-20 young, if shes like 12-13...the sex thing is WAY OUT OF BOUNDS, and even if shes 18-20 its not our business to worry about the "sex" part, i'm pretty sure non-"suprise sex" advice is what the op is looking for
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You got it all wrong girl. He was clearly sending out the signs that he likes YOU (although in a stupid way, but he is young and I did similar stuff way back). This is what probably happened:
- Describing the girl of his dreams that is like you means he really likes you. He doesn't have the balls to tell it straight out so he is trying to get some positive reaction when he says that. Something that might give him a hint that he is the boy of your dreams too. He is desperately trying to get information that you like him too, so that he can eventually muster up the courage to tell you how he feels.
The best thing to go about such remarks in my experience is humour. 'So the girl of your dreams is me with big breasts'. That might kick the conversation in the right direction.
- Now the second sign he is sending is the fact he is telling you that he is in love with another girl. He is very likely not, he is just trying to make you jealous (well succeeded).
So my advice is this: Just try to tilt the conversation to this subject when you are together by asking questions: - Do you think I should dress/behave differently to be more attractive to guys? - Would you like a girl to ask you out on a date? - Do you think good friends can make a good couple? - If you have the balls, you can just tell him that you like him, and that you were wondering what it would be like to be more than friends.
Good luck girl!
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Zurich15245 Posts
So you are German? He is never going to make the first move then.
Your turn.
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Like always, you're in the friendzone because you were just being his friend. Getting out of it is as simple as gradually increasing touching/flirting/hugs/...
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So why don't you make the first move?
Are you afraid if it doesn't work out then being friends will be awkward afterwards and the friendship will no longer be the same?
Maybe he feels the same?
That is the friend zone. :\ It's not a bad thing, just treasure your friendship and be happy with that relationship.
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OP more info? i wanna hear more on this story!
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I wish people would be more honest with their feelings and just honest in general lol
I mean, yeah you have to be polite but you can't pussyfoot forever
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On August 06 2012 17:21 zatic wrote: So you are German? He is never going to make the first move then.
Your turn.
Listen to Zatic, he knows everything about how german date.
Also, a little fun fact: Men are stupid, if you don't directly tell them what you want, they'll never understand it. Giving us hints doesn't work, it's too complicated for our brains.
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Sorry guys. I'm 17 years old not 12. And surprise sex is a very very bad idea. I'm not overweight or something like this. I think I look like an average teenage girl but I'm too shy to flirt with him. He knows that I like him but he's just ignoring this fact. I'm not sure if he's totally stupid or he's just not attracted to me and that's the reason why he's ignoring this.
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Zurich15245 Posts
Assuming he is around your age we can say with certainty: He is entirely too stupid to get it. Evidence: Every girl blog on TL.
I am sorry you'll just have to grow some ovaries and start flirting / escalating the relationship. It's not going to solve itself, and again, men are generally stupid so don't hope he'll eventually get it.
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On August 06 2012 23:16 Daeny wrote: I'm not sure if he's totally stupid or he's just not attracted to me and that's the reason why he's ignoring this.
Totally stupid.
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On August 06 2012 23:16 Daeny wrote: He knows that I like him but he's just ignoring this fact. I'm not sure if he's totally stupid Totally stupid. I was in this exact same situation and did not figure out this girl very very obviously liked me until years later.
On August 06 2012 23:16 Daeny wrote: I'm too shy to flirt with him.
You should be extremely clear and explicit that you are interested in him. Flirting and feeling awkward is a lot better than dropping vague pseudo-hints that he will not pick up on and you miserably questioning why this guy doesn't like you.
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On August 06 2012 23:16 Daeny wrote: I'm not sure if he's totally stupid or he's just not attracted to me and that's the reason why he's ignoring this.
You know, you can have an incredible advantage over other women if you just realize this at an age of 17: We men are incredibly stupid at picking up subtle female signals. Just tell us what you want and how you feel. If you are reasonably well looking, you will get what you want at least 9 out of 10 times.
I am pretty sure he has no idea that you like him, unless you openly told him so.
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I find it best for the guy to just ask you out. If he's too stupid to do that, then he's not worth your time.
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On August 07 2012 02:48 Nymphaceae wrote: I find it best for the guy to just ask you out. If he's too stupid to do that, then he's not worth your time.
That's ridiculous, if you want someone you have to put in some effort. The guy from the op is obviously very shy, it seems unlikely that he will gather enough courage to ask her out. That doesn't mean he isn't "worth her time", in fact they would probably be great together.
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I guess Girl Blogs and Boy Blogs aren't too different.
"Grow a pair."
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On August 06 2012 23:16 Daeny wrote: Sorry guys. I'm 17 years old not 12. And surprise sex is a very very bad idea. I'm not overweight or something like this. I think I look like an average teenage girl but I'm too shy to flirt with him. He knows that I like him but he's just ignoring this fact. I'm not sure if he's totally stupid or he's just not attracted to me and that's the reason why he's ignoring this.
You: 'This guy is so dumb, it's so clear that I like him and he won't do anything to make it work! He's totally stupid!'
Everyone Else: 'Why don't you make a move, that would probably work, you're likely not being explicit enough - men like women that are straight-forward.'
You: 'I don't want to do anything to make this work.'
This is basically what's happening. He's totally stupid because he's not making a move, yet you're making excuses for why you can't do the same thing. Men like women who can be straight-forward, so either (wo)man-up and do something about it or don't get upset about it. You can't expect someone else to do something you refuse to do yourself.
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On August 07 2012 02:48 Nymphaceae wrote: I find it best for the guy to just ask you out. If he's too stupid to do that, then he's not worth your time. Likewise, if a girl doesn't put in the effort to show interest or make it remotely interesting for me, then it ain't happening
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Zurich15245 Posts
On August 07 2012 04:17 Elegance wrote:Show nested quote +On August 07 2012 02:48 Nymphaceae wrote: I find it best for the guy to just ask you out. If he's too stupid to do that, then he's not worth your time. Likewise, if a girl doesn't put in the effort to show interest or make it remotely interesting for me, then it ain't happening And here we can observe why Germany's population shrinks by like 600k each year.
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On August 06 2012 23:16 Daeny wrote: Sorry guys. I'm 17 years old not 12. And surprise sex is a very very bad idea. I'm not overweight or something like this. I think I look like an average teenage girl but I'm too shy to flirt with him. He knows that I like him but he's just ignoring this fact. I'm not sure if he's totally stupid or he's just not attracted to me and that's the reason why he's ignoring this.
Just an fyi there's a good chance he doesn't know you like him. Believe it or not but we guys are pretty stupid when it comes to girls, especially if you are a shyish type guy who is probably not going to ask you out unless you give him pretty much the "I like you" straight up.
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I'm not going to get into numbers here but the amount of times I've had sex with someone I didn't realize liked me a few hours before vastly outnumbers the amount of times I've had a slow, flirtatious buildup just leik in the moviez.
Girls suck every bit as much as guys at not realizing their hints are falling on deaf.
Go tell him you want to date and fuck him that night. It's not rocket science.
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On August 06 2012 17:21 zatic wrote: So you are German? He is never going to make the first move then.
Your turn. straightforward and quick xD
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On August 06 2012 23:16 Daeny wrote: Sorry guys. I'm 17 years old not 12. And surprise sex is a very very bad idea. I'm not overweight or something like this. I think I look like an average teenage girl but I'm too shy to flirt with him. He knows that I like him but he's just ignoring this fact. I'm not sure if he's totally stupid or he's just not attracted to me and that's the reason why he's ignoring this.
tell him and report back, goodluck
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Korea (South)11232 Posts
just tell him that you want to challenge life in coop mode!
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Now we are all waiting for pics, preferably with duckface
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All of zatic's posts in this thread... amazing.
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On August 06 2012 23:32 zatic wrote: Assuming he is around your age we can say with certainty: He is entirely too stupid to get it. Evidence: Every girl blog on TL.
I am sorry you'll just have to grow some ovaries and start flirting / escalating the relationship. It's not going to solve itself, and again, men are generally stupid so don't hope he'll eventually get it.
Maybe he doesn't really care.
When I was 14/15, there was this girl who really, really liked me. She would ring at my appartment to hang out everyday after school. She hinted at some kinky things, and she wasn't ugly at all. But I don't know, I was just happy with my life the way it was, and I was too concerned with my social image to start dating an average chick. A mix of cowardice/self-consciousness/lack of active interest.
I believe that if she had initiated anything, I would've gone with it, but she waited for me to make a move, which obviously never happened.
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On August 08 2012 00:06 Kukaracha wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2012 23:32 zatic wrote: Assuming he is around your age we can say with certainty: He is entirely too stupid to get it. Evidence: Every girl blog on TL.
I am sorry you'll just have to grow some ovaries and start flirting / escalating the relationship. It's not going to solve itself, and again, men are generally stupid so don't hope he'll eventually get it. Maybe he doesn't really care. When I was 14/15, there was this girl who really, really liked me. She would ring at my appartment to hang out everyday after school. She hinted at some kinky things, and she wasn't ugly at all. But I don't know, I was just happy with my life the way it was, and I was too concerned with my social image to start dating an average chick. A mix of cowardice/self-consciousness/lack of active interest. I believe that if she had initiated anything, I would've gone with it, but she waited for me to make a move, which obviously never happened.
Yeah I remember when I was in high school I had something similar. There was a girl who liked me and she was very clingy and obvious. And she was all right, I didn't hate hanging with her, but.... her breath stank. So that's why I decided I didn't want to date her. That and their was a better looking girl that liked me.
In high school you're too young to be worried about looking for a soulmate and for all those other qualities you look for when you're older. When you're young you just want to date a hot girl, do some physical stuff, or have fun. All those kids that say their in love, chances are they're not, and it's silly to be all serious in high school. You should jut forget about him and date some other boys, you're too young to know what you want. Better to sample what the world has to offer while you still can.
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Boys are ranting about being friendzoned, did they ever think of the cause? Girls are ranting about being rejected for <insert random body attribute here>, did they ever think of the cause? Society's to blame, hooray! Who cares, it's not to be stopped.
Tell him what to you think of his choice. And be straight with him. Boys tend to get confused by the thoughts of girls, as simple as they might seem. Or just do it as I do.. Look for a team to play in SCII, casually tell them that you have boobs and watch them dig on you for your boobs. I do that when feel sad. It seems evil and twisted, but it's fun. No offense guys. Gets you off your mind for a few minutes.
Another more serious thought: Maybe he wanted to make you jealous and see your reaction. Who the fuck knows? He does, that's why you should talk to him even more!
(Sorry for semi-ranting! In a bad mood, teehee~!)
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Man this is a case of friend zone if I ever saw one. Just come out and tell him how you feel. Or at least try to make more advances towards him, asking him to hang out with you alone is a good thing to do to give him a clue about how you feel.
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I really hope u r right, that he's just too stupid. But I'm exactly afraid of this what Kukaracha (I love ur signature btw) and fire_brand said. I'm really afraid of that he just does not care and then I'm this totally naive girl. But I think I'll tell him about my feelings, as you all said. Maybe I'm lucky.
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Pretty much the same thing I would tell a man:
Juuuust do it (no, I don't mean it as in sex, necessarily).
Try to use game theory in your approach. You have two choices and two results from this little dance: ask, don't ask; he says yes, he says no. Well, it's not a Nash game because it's turn based, but you know, it is a game of payoffs nonetheless (please don't attack me for butchering game theory concepts too much, it's been years since I took that course ).
Scenarios are as follows You ask --> he says yes : YOU WIN You ask --> he says no : REJECTION You don't ask --> forever friendzoned and butthurt!!
So I guess the real question is what's worse: pining eternally or rejection (which may or may not end the "friendship," which may only exist because of your pining anyway)?
As a man who has been rejected and pined on fourty thousand occasions, let me tell you, looking back, I'll take rejection every time. At least you've done all you can do and pick yourself up and move on to the next "special person." Oh, and at least once someone will say yes, and it's awesome when they do.
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On August 08 2012 12:38 MountainDewJunkie wrote:Pretty much the same thing I would tell a man: Juuuust do it (no, I don't mean it as in sex, necessarily). Try to use game theory in your approach. You have two choices and two results from this little dance: ask, don't ask; he says yes, he says no. Well, it's not a Nash game because it's turn based, but you know, it is a game of payoffs nonetheless (please don't attack me for butchering game theory concepts too much, it's been years since I took that course ). Scenarios are as follows You ask --> he says yes : YOU WIN You ask --> he says no : REJECTION You don't ask --> forever friendzoned and butthurt!! So I guess the real question is what's worse: pining eternally or rejection (which may or may not end the "friendship," which may only exist because of your pining anyway)? As a man who has been rejected and pined on fourty thousand occasions, let me tell you, looking back, I'll take rejection every time. At least you've done all you can do and pick yourself up and move on to the next "special person." Oh, and at least once someone will say yes, and it's awesome when they do. well would you rather take 40000 pins than 40000 rejections lol after that many rejections u probably be wondering if it was better not asking, but OP u havnt reached 40000 yet so ask away! and report back ur success! which is the more likey outcome people on TL tend to be right lol goodluck!
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On August 08 2012 12:52 Shock710 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 08 2012 12:38 MountainDewJunkie wrote:Pretty much the same thing I would tell a man: Juuuust do it (no, I don't mean it as in sex, necessarily). Try to use game theory in your approach. You have two choices and two results from this little dance: ask, don't ask; he says yes, he says no. Well, it's not a Nash game because it's turn based, but you know, it is a game of payoffs nonetheless (please don't attack me for butchering game theory concepts too much, it's been years since I took that course ). Scenarios are as follows You ask --> he says yes : YOU WIN You ask --> he says no : REJECTION You don't ask --> forever friendzoned and butthurt!! So I guess the real question is what's worse: pining eternally or rejection (which may or may not end the "friendship," which may only exist because of your pining anyway)? As a man who has been rejected and pined on fourty thousand occasions, let me tell you, looking back, I'll take rejection every time. At least you've done all you can do and pick yourself up and move on to the next "special person." Oh, and at least once someone will say yes, and it's awesome when they do. well would you rather take 40000 pins than 40000 rejections lol after that many rejections u probably be wondering if it was better not asking, but OP u havnt reached 40000 yet so ask away! and report back ur success! which is the more likey outcome people on TL tend to be right lol goodluck! 40000 rejections is probably an underestimation on my part. I am not a highly desirable male
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don't waste your time on him! It's not worth it.
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