Straight White Men
Anyways, I came across this interesting article on an interesting person, who happens to be near the same age as me,
Young Jean Lee may be believed to be the first Asian-American woman to write a play scheduled to be produced on Broadway, but she wants to take her audience into the mind of straight white men.
Lee’s play, “Straight White Men,” explores the themes of identity, privilege and American values, she said. Known for writing plays that focus on identity from various points of view, Lee said she wanted to explore the notion of how the titular group now has a label attached to it.
“I noticed a societal shift where straight white men used to be just the default human and now they have an identity category,” Lee said. “They’re reacting to it in the way everybody reacts to it when that happens to them. Nobody likes it, but they’re experiencing it for the first time.”
That isn't the article, but I read her - Young Jean Lee- bio and she was raised in a small town US after going there as a young girl from South Korea with her Korean parents and much of what she has experienced or how she observes the world is similar in how I do too.
Ripped for being me
A long time ago I wrote a blog post as an AMA on being a Korean man and I had this one girl come in there and just flame the fuck out of me and I tried to get some understanding between us, but I guess in nowaday terms I was mansplaining and she was rude as fuck. So I hammered her and I guess because of me she left TL. Nowadays in Korea we have a site called Womad (woman mad I guess), basically it's a radacalized feminist + all men should die site. It's got Korea in a bit of tiffy, on one side they are right about a few things: like when there is a hidden camera targeting women its not a big deal to the police, but when it happens to men, its a national man hunt, but other things, like all men are scum and should have their balls ripped off, well, its a bit much.
But in my downtime, I've actually got to learn about and bought a book from, Milo, "the dangerous faggot". And this other guy Ben Shapio the Harvard law school Jewish conservative. And I gotta say, I love these guys, because they are unapologetic, and they have cut through a lot of the bullshit of being politically correct and get down to what they understand as good/bad. It's honest, and it's courageous. I can't say I disagree with a lot of what they say, and the things I disagree with them on, I think it's just a lack of experience they have, not a lack of mental framework - meaning that they are still young in some areas of their experiences, but given further experiences and mentors, I'm sure we'd all be great buddies. Now I say this as a guy who normally travels 90 times a years across the world and works with governments etc, so I would say, no matter what these two have gone through, even the Milo, my life experience would be a bit more. But regardless, they impress me a lot, and the main thing is, separating their marketing image and seeing them as fallible humans, and what they are trying to express and their logic - and I love both these guys a lot, just as they are, very real interesting people.
So, as was reading over the last few days and recovering from a stomach flu, I came across the the Young Jean Lee article and I just wanted to get down my perspective of things, not as a Straight White Man, but an Old School Hot blooded Korean Man. And I I'll come back to all the stuff above. And the reason why I'm doing so, is just that, I wanted it to be a historical account as well as a reference point to any Asian Americans who have this kind of issue as well. Now who I am and what I believe, you guys can debate or whatever, but I am what I am at this point, and unless I get brain damage or something, it ain't going to change me; not cause I'm not up for learning and developing, but this is an honest account of me.
While I could go into a lengthy discourse about how and why my identity is this or that, that would be too exhausting for me to do, rather, I'm just going to profile it out and you may or may not be able to connect the dots and I'll expand where I can. I'm just a tired fuck at this point, so I just don't have the stamina to write out my thoughts continuously like I use to, and plus nowadays, who the fuck actually reads anything in depth lol. You guys are champs for reading this much lol.
Old School Korean Hot Blooded Man
In no particular order:
1. Korea women in Korea, you want complete equality with men, protest first to get into the army so you have to spend 26 or however long months in the army too. Otherwise, just move to another country and fuck off.
2. Korean men who have any balls, obviously we don't want Korean women to go to war, so we don't bring this up and would happy die for our friends, family and our women and children. You want to hate us for that, well go fuck off to another country. You want just say, that's nice, but we'd rather have equal rights. Well fuck, go right ahead, if that is really what you guys want, we won't stop you, just like how in Korea a lot of families are double income, if that is the modern situation, go ahead, but don't fucking think that it doesn't happen with you guys going to the army too.
You can't have it both ways and that why your feminist movement never goes anywhere in Korea, cause you don't want to accept this point and talk about everything else. There is nothing else to talk about it, this is a first principles thing, you want societal equality, it starts with the time served in the Army. And you wanna know the fucking truth of the matter is, every Korean guys knows this, but to be honest, we don't want you girls going to army, not because it would give you girls more equal rights, but because we don't want you to get hurt. We'd rather get hurt. For Korean American women, just go marry a non Korean if you hate our culture so much. Problem solved.
3. Any Korean guy who want Korean women to go to the army, because they want an equal society and think it's unfair, you can get the fuck out of Korea too you gutless pussy. If the women want it, it's fine, but if you as a man want it too, then you're not a man, at least not a Korean man.
4. I am Korean, but I'm not a native South Korean. Although I know gangnam like the back of my hand, I don't use a navi to drive here, and went to school here and worked here in a major corporation, married, children born here, I'll never be a native South Korean, but that doesn't make me not a Korean, just not a native South Korean one.
It's just like saying is a North Korean, Korean? Yes they are. But would they identify as being Korean being South Korean. No. A lot of North Korean defectors who have gone to visit America have commented that they feel more at home with a second generation family than in South Korea as it more comfortable because the 2nd generation's parents were basically from that time before Korea split. Well most of them are grandparents now. My parents were both born in 1940 and 1943 respectively.
5. I'm not Asian American or whatever. I'm not Asian. What the fuck is white or black, how fucking retard is that to identify people by just the colour of their skin and not the culture behind them? This is just simplifying something which shouldn't be simplified because you simplify and lose meaning in the person(s) and there isn't anything else to talk about because you're too ignorant to talk about culture or know your own culture.
I am Korean. Full Stop.
I was educated in both Korea and America (US/Canada).
I feel most comfortable in Zurich, because discreet actions and how you perform are then only things that really matter.
6. When you're in Asia, you don't say you're Asian, you say you're Japanese, Chinese from Beijing, or Hongkonger or whatever. Whatever you do, whoever you are. you need to be from a clear cultural identity. If not, you're just being defined by being black white or asian, and who is doing that defining? the mainstream american culture and media.
7. You need to know your culture, you need to know your home language, enough to make sense of what you know impicitly. There is no short cut about this. Without it you are forever just speculating and are never going to be clear about your identity.
8. Wherever I am, I'm Korean, but I don't need to prove that. It is who I am and it will come out naturally in my actions. My US friends or my Swiss friends may see my actions as quirky sometimes, but my Korean friends will see it as being Korean. Sometimes I'll be with Chinese or Taiwanese friends and we'll go to Korean restaurant or we'll meet some Korean clients together and they will be 'omg, you're so Korean, I had no idea, it's like you're a totally different person' and I'm like, well you guys aren't Korean, so why would talk to you like you're korean? lol. Same like with my American friends, they are like, 'holy shit, you're like Korean'and I'm like, 'lol, um yeah, the fucks wrong with you?'.
9. If I'm going to live somewhere, I am going to respect and interact in that culture as the mainstream culture. If I'm in the US, I'm going to interact as a straight white guy, If I'm China, I'm going to interact as a straight chinese guy, if I'm in a gay bar, I'm going to interact as a gay teddy bear. My point is, the context doesn't define you, I define me, and I do so, not from my own opinion, but from my foundation in have a clear core identity, then, whatever culture I'm part of then I embrace and respect. If I want to be a Korean in America, then I should fuck off back to Korea, asking for respect in another country while trying to make others interact with me as a Korean when the don't even know what that means, is fucking dumb. Seriously, its stupid and the reason why people think that is even possible is because in America everything is black white brown yellow etc. And Korean Americans can be the most dumb about it.
10. For fuck sakes, just cause you watch korean dramas, listen to K-pop, and eat Korean food, doesn't make you more Korean, it makes you a consumer of Korean modern and food culture. If that was the case then all of Southeast Asia, Taiwan and whole fucking provinces of China would be Korean. It's unavoidable, but if you really want to be Korean, you gotta come and live in Korea, even if it is for a bit of time, and while I have my qualms about modern south korean culture, one thing is is for sure, as a man, if you can drink like a how Koreans drink, then you basically know 50% of it. And its more than just drinking for fun in K-town, really Korean drinking is for every emotional issue you'd have that you would normally go for therapy for, but instead, 'drink till you all die together' for sanity.
11. My parents were Korean, I can't help where I was educated and raised, but that being said, I know I'm not fully accepted in America, and I'm not fully accepted by everyone in Korea. Speak to me more than 5 mins in Korean and my English accent comes out. Speak to me for more than 30 mins in Korean and you'll know I don't think like a South Korean. Speak to me on the phone, and you'll think on any given day, you'll think I'm from Texas or somewhere from New England until I get excited and I say 'eh' and you'll say, you must be Canadian. But meet me in person in America and you'll change you perspective of my cultural identity maybe 3 or 4 times in an hour. It's has been a complicated journey, because there aren't many people with the circumstances that I and people like Young Jean Lee had to go through. There was no k-pop when I growing up, there were no other Koreans, and when going back to Korea, there were no people like me there either. But, getting through it all and not stopping to just settle, I have a clarity about something people take for granted.
12. There is white privilege. But there is also Korean privilege, or, we'd say, whatever privilege there is when you're part of the majority. But what makes white privilege unique is that that in Korea, if you're a foreigner, you're a foreigner, so you may call us racist or discriminatory, but this is you as foreigner being discriminated against for the first time as a minority. But, so what, you're a foreigner, you can't vote, you can grip, but we can deport your ass. But in America, when the country is your own country, you were born there, you were educated there and the only thing different from you and the other immigrant family is that he/she is white and you're not, well that this the crux of white privilege, because for no other reason than your skin color, you are excluded from the implicit perks of majority, although you have paid all its dues.
This is the understanding that I had back in the mid-90's before there was even the term white privilege and you'd be surprised that it would be a major reason why people got radicalized in the UK during that time, even though they didn't even speak the language of their heritage country. I'm in that generation that actually articulated what is white privilege and it has nothing to do with explicit discrimination, but serves as a constant reminder that you will never be part of the majority, who's requirement comes down to skin color.
In my case, I had another option, I could go somewhere where I could say, this is my country and this country that I have spent the majority of life in is where I am fundamentally now a foreigner too, and now I've spent half my life in Korea and half in America, and I feel no anger or animosity either way. Nothing is unfair, it is what it is.
13. When I'm in America, I am a straight white guy, because that is where the power is at. I mean, look, I love American culture and when I do business, it's mostly in an American corporate way. But, it's an active choice and I have no illusions that this is not my identity, it's just a form I take to best my objectives done. I mostly scare other straight white guys because I do it so well, meaning, I don't go for being a middle of the pack straight white guy, I go for being the alpha of the straight white guys or the inner circle right off the bat. And I take advantage of being Korean because I can get away with things that the straight white guy would be Politically correct crucified for, while I can say, fuck it, I'm Korean. I can do this because, 1. I'm not looking for affirmation from anyone about who I am, 2. I would do the same in any culture I am a part of that I have a deep understanding off. 3. If I don't have a deep understanding, then i'll settle for respectful foreigner.
14. I'm old school Korean, not modern south korean. There is a lot of differences.I don't believe in gender roles, I am a gender role. i.e. man. full stop. Being a man has responsibilities, and top of the list is providing for the family, defending the country and not complaining and bringing to the table whatever the wife's expectations are. That being said, I am not going to impose my gender role understanding on women, if you're my wife, you're my wife because you are a woman who wants to be with an old school Korean guy. if you wanted to date me but wanted me to change to be more modern, then go fucking date someone else. If I had a daughter, the only thing I would say, is, Dad loves you, just respect my views, when you leave this house, you can live as you like, but you can't have it both ways. You can't have my undying devotion and protection for whatever mess you can possibly make and then just do whatever the fuck you want.
People just point out all the negatives of gender roles, because for the most part, it is very open to abuse. But if you're educated and have high sense of duty, then being a man, is not easy. If my wife is sick, I will clean the house, will do all the cooking, take care of the kids and manage my companies. These roles are not locked in stone and beyond common sense. If I were to be abusive and be rude to her, this not 1910, she can just get a divorce and leave and she comes from a wealthy family so she could do that, and there would be nothing for me to stop her. And if she did, I would still financially support the family in same way, it does not change my responsibility.
In the purest sense, Korean gender roles, are just areas of responsibility that are naturally assigned by gender, but doesn't mean there can't be a mix. I am a much better cook than my wife, but I can't cook and travel 90 flights a year. My wife graduated from a Korean ivy league school in law and was a Venture capitalist. She could have been making as near as much money as me in a career if she wanted to, but she chose to find a more alpha male than alpha female in her, so I could bear the brunt of her economic expectations and for her to focus on raising the children. And she works fucking hard taking care of our kids. She ain't no tiger mom, she has no expectations for the kids other than they be the best they can be in time, but for me. she is a slave driving evil warlord. But I make all the final decisions, but most of the times, I don't need to because we are aligned in our thinking, and when I need to take the final decision, it isn't because I'm imposing my will, its because I'm also taking responsibility for the consequences for the decision, that if it goes south, the expectation is on me alone to make it work, regardless of the cost. Of course my wife will support, but the responsibility is mine alone.
My daughter, if I had one, can't bitch at me for having inequality, when I'm on the verge of going full blown liver cirrhosis while I make sure that they are living a life without financial worry. My sons are taught to respect and love women. My wife is the most physically abusive person in our family, like she hits all of us. If I had a daughter and her boyfriend or husband hit her even once, I would break that hand and the arm and there would be no forgiveness for that cunt.
15. If North Korea was to attack right now, and I needed to help or fight, even as a fat fuck that I am now, I would do so and send my family packing to Busan.
16. I believe in multiculturalism like how they do it in Switzerland. But they have turned it into an identity of what it means to be Swiss. But I think it's fucking idiotic that you go to a country and expect to live as if you are still in your own country and for it to be fine or for them to accommodate you. If I live in America, I'll be the best damn American I can be, even if my skin is yellow. And if I can contribute to American society by adding my diversity as a Korean, then great, but why the fuck would I go to America otherwise?
17. Final point on identity; if you know who you are, then you don't need to give a fuck who others think about you, but coming to cultural self awareness and identify is difficult for Korean Americans. Something needs to push you from being a consumer of culture to beginning able to know it well it enough to wield it. My younger brother, had a pretty 'vactiony' experience in Korea. I paid for him to go to Yonsei Korean program for 2 summers, when he had his break from medical school. Gave him a credit card to use, and we lived in Apgujeong, so he never had to really experience the suffering that really makes you a Korean man. He married a Korean who doesn't like Korea (and South Korean native men lol) and they have a happy life in America and summers in Korea with their family. But, when I speak with him, there are family traits he has, but a real cultural identity of being Korean, he doesn't. He is just a consumer of culture and navigates his life so that his consumer world can be as seamless as possible.
Its the same as Korean Americans who just hang out in Korean Town, can't speak English or Korean properly and are just trying to live a life where they can consume in a comfortable way. Or else those who want to bitch about how unfair life is because of their skin color. Wake the fuck up, its the way it is, if you want not be the minority, come back to Korea if you can handle the Chosen hell of fun.
18. Final point on what Asian American men bitch about the most in how Asian American men are portrayed as either unsexy, nerds, pussies, tech wealth gays or immigrant thugs or martial artists. Well, if I was a US straight white guy director, I would be like, 'fuck, that's alI I see too'. If you really want to change how media portrays you in white American, you can't have it both ways like my fictional daughter. And because you want it both ways, it defines you all as a bunch of poser pussies (I'm generalizing here to make a point about the general group).
You want greater representation in Harvard and stability, but you don't understand the risk or want to take the risk in greater society, in the arts or other industries which you and your parents don't approve of. This more Asia discrimination against admissions to ivy leagues is probably true and 100% necessary. Fuck, its diminishing returns, for every additional Asia american with perfect SAT scored and hospital volunteer records, there is the exact same clone beside them, with zero value added for diversity. You're looking at Harvard for stability, not for greatness.
That lack imagination to actually write, direct, film and invest in what is Asian American is because the community's experiences and real cultural knowledge is all so fucking superficial that you can make a web tv series of ktown cowboys and then run out of material because after the drinking customs and a few phrases, its essentially just yellow trash. But if you look at the films Korean makes, the art houses ones, about the a family's mass murder suicide and can understand the depth of responsibility and the lack of hope a man can have in Korea to take their own family's life because he has failed in his responsibility to them and how he feels that this is his last act of responsibility and burden, if you could write about a Korean American start-up or production house where everyone there can actually speak Korean as well as English. Culture is not just hanging out because you're yellow, again, see the initial points above, it ain't that easy, culture is something and its a blessing to have.
I can't tell you how many white guys I've been introduced to who married Korean and they even speak better korean than me and try really hard to be Korean. And I love it, and I can accept them all as my Korean brothers, but as oldschool and backwards as it sounds, for Koreans, it's always been in the blood. That's a bad mentality to have, it divides us, and at the end of the day, I am what I am, both the good and bad, i don't and can't just pick and choose the good parts of the culture, because even what defines the good and bad of that choice? For most American Asians, they don't even see that their entire value and mental framework of what they think is Asian is all based on a US white persons framework. If it wasn't then they could never even think to identify with being Asian. But because they don't really know what Korean is, this is what they are consumers.
If you want Asian Males to be sexy and alpha, you've basically have 2 options. Go to and watch Asian films, dub em in English and make them play in theaters and tv screens across America. It still won't help you, but at least Americans will think we're more sexy in general and dress well.
Or, Asian Americans actually have to be straight Korean white guys (or insert whatever Asian nationality), cause even being sexy and alpha, and how it's all expressed is a white straight man thing. When I'm pissed off, like gonna go nuclear, I'm silent and make the room cold, then I plot my revenge so it's absolute zero, while I smile and invite the fucks I'm gonna destroy to dinner so I can prepare a bit more. That's elite Korean anger. But again, you can't have it both ways, you can't all be a bunch of gutless thug wanna be pussies and have you being portrayed as equal to straight white guys, when a community you're not even close. America isn't Asia, its America, the community needs to define their identity, as Korean straight white men, not waiting for straight white men to define something that Asia americans can't even do for themselves, and you have all let the straight white man define you all as only gay/nerd/thug/ non leading men. Even when we had the new Sulu as an ass kicking mofo, they made his ass gay cause they could LOL. Even George Takei was like wtf, and he be gay!
As far as the other Asian Americans go, I have no opinion on it, I'm not Chinese or Vietnamese or Filipino, and as far as the Korean American's I've pointed the finger at, I'm not pointing, just say, I don't give a fuck whether the community continues to be consumers and pussies and whiners, it doesn't bare any significance on me. I'm gonna 50 soon and I got my own family. But, if you take what I say, as my own honest account, I'd at least say, take your own account one way or another, stop being a consumer, but rather either be Korean, whatever that may be, or be the best damn American you can be and just know that if you do so, maybe you'll be included in the straight white man US narrative too. One day lol.
*This post was meant to be very honest, so I don't hold much back.
**Its specifically for men and the discussion of cultural male identity, if you're offended because you're a woman, its not my intention to offend you, its my intention to articulate my identity in relation to an American/Korean context. Even I say, I love and respect women, women who are offended will be offended by that because I'm still a old fashion fuck, but that's me, no apologies, you got your disclaimer its not for general readership.
***I actually don't judge or hate anyone because I actually don't give a fuck about how others want to live their life, my comments because its how I see things, but people will live as people will leave.
****But, I do care about people and this community and this is a personal contribution here. I may not be able to reply to comment immediately, as I'm ill as fuck and going into the hospital on Monday, but I always read the comments, good or bad, they're all good.
*****And if I were the justice in Korea, I would castrate all the perverted fucks who do any type of hidden camera or sexual crimes against women, pedo would get the whole fucking thing lopped off. All men wanna do sexual things, but if you don't have self control not to act out in public, then you should get some body part lopped of as reminder.