Girl blog. The first thing that I would like to comment is that, man, girls these days are all about the mindfucking. It really is frustrating to try and decipher a girl’s signs/hints without being led astray, especially for a newbie like me who never had any in-depth experiences with female interactions. Sometimes I would just re-read over and over again the MSN conversation we had or the long spam of cellphone texts we exchange every single damn day; here and there she would show signs of interest and elsewhere it is just complete, plain, “friend-zoned” treatment.
I guess I knew the girl a year ago in high school (she’s two years younger than me btw). Basically the circumstance in which we met was in the school library, where I was doing tutoring for high school math/science courses after school to earn a bit of little extra cash. And I was paired up with her to help her with a science project. Now, I’m definitely not one of those guys who easily succumb to the feminine appeals; but I must admit, she was pretty. But I didn’t pay much attention at that time, and simply wanted to get the tutoring session over with so I can go home with my bills of cash.
So after that first encounter, the usual ensued; we exchanged emails and Facebook, and eventually phone numbers. I didn’t have any particular feelings or emotions towards her at that time; to me she was just a regular girl who I would occasionally talk to and say hi to in the hallways. After a period of interaction I learned that she actually attracts a lot of guys, but she rejected all of them, saying that she simply did not like them because they were too clingy or not-so-good-looking.
So this normal interaction between us continued. And skipping to present-day, I am about to head to Year 2 of University, while she is still in high school. Starting recently, we began talking a lot; occasionally we would hang out together for a movie or a small meal in the food court (nothing big, not a date either because her friends are there as well and she would leave with them after). Slowly, I think I have become some form of brotherly figure to her, which was fine by me. People always say that if two people of opposite genders don’t develop romantic interests in the first stage of their interaction, most likely they will slowly be categorized in the “friend zone”. She would always call me “bro” or “brother”, and also listed me as a “brother” on Facebook, which is nonsense imo because I’m not technically her brother. Problem solved and think no more right? Wrong.
Recently, we began discussing really personal issues, such as what constitutes an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend. So casually I presented to her my perspective on what an ideal girlfriend would be for me; smart, dedicated, non-flirty, and honest girl. And at this point in time, things got out of hand. When it was her turn to describe her ideal type of boyfriend, she gave me a LONG list consisting of all her conditions to the point where my phone would lag like a fag every time I open that text message. What shocks me the most is that her description of that boyfriend is EXACTLY ME; every detail, every behaviour, every appearance requirements, all fit together to be ME. So at this point in time I raised my eyebrows and wtfbbq’ed. It’s like she pinpointed everything she knew about me, and BAM there it is; she said: “asian, taller than me, older than me by at least a year (hmm), have ordinary style of clothing and hair, no wacky hair, tattoos, no super ghetto clothing (umhmm), has to speak English (wtf?) and Cantonese and at least understand Mandarine (OOOoOoOo), can’t be too skinny or big (understandable), has to have good grades (yep I do), cute from time to time personality wise (that’s me too baby :D), he has to be mean teasing kind of way (O_O SOUNDS FAMILIAR), know when to draw the line of being clingy (yepp), scary appearance but kind on the inside (WHATTT THAT IS ME ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEEE), and can’t be able to read his mind (YEAHHH THAT’S FUCKING ME NO DOUBTS ABOUT IT)”.
Fuck this shit, is she talking about me? Now at this point in time I suddenly remembered a text she sent me saying “Want to be my boyfriend? XD jokes jokes.” (Hate shit like this) In an epic fail attempt to get more information, I went along and flirted “I will be your boyfriend if you want to be my girlfriend ; )”. Now, at this point in time she starts telling me that I’m very cute and is absolutely the perfect boyfriend ever (except she would occasionally text me and call me “bro” kjfkljsdkfjsjhwjrhwjrwjh FUCK ME). And I started teasing her, saying “I think you should go for it (me)”. And she replied, “hmm maybe I should...” and immediately changes the topic.
I rage every night because of this. Why? I wouldn’t mind going out with this girl; she seems extremely faithful, honest, non-flirty, and understanding of other people’s feelings. On another hand, I don’t really mind the opposite. BUT what bothers me the most is the whole concept of girls mindfucking guys. WHY CAN’T THEY MAKE SHIT OBVIOUS and just declare how they truly feel? Instead of this bullshit nonsense with “bro” and “perfect boyfriend”. And if she is interested in me, why this whole “brother” shit? If she is not interested in me, why tell me all that stuff about being cute and being the perfect boyfriend?
;_; So now, I ask you, my dear Teamliquid’ers, what is your opinion on this matter? What steps should I take from now on?
It's better to be out of the friendzone than to have never tried. You're picking up big signals, which might be an obvious hint from her, or it is positive reinforcement. In either case, you got to give it a try. This is not about reading her mind, this is about reading your own mind and acting to your true feelings.
Go in for a kiss - don't talk to her about it. Just do it. Don't make it awkward, act as cool as you can when you do it. Kiss her when no-one else is around, don't do it in a public place. The more you talk about shit like romance the more it gets killed. Read this:
i think that link is more for whoring around, unless you are into not being yourself, i mean if you are that way, then be that way, girl dont like it, tell her to beat it. That dude just sells stuff to people who are desperate.
Seriously, you are killing yourself. If you are interested, ask her seriously for a date. The worst that can happen is that everything will remain the exact same.
To answer your question more specifically, I think the reason girls like to mindfuck is because of society. Don't ask me to elaborate.
So wrong.
Girls 'mindfuck' for two reasons, which leads to the problem
either
- they are in a situation like many guys and don't want to lose the guy, but are worried about being too easy and shit like that so they mess with the throttle alot because they aren't fully sure how to proceed .
OR
- you are expendable so when they feel down they will buddy up with you or if they need you for the car pool lane or whatever, then you might not hear from them for a week or two at all.
The problem is , is these two behaviors are extremely similar yet lead to two completely different outcomes. Experience helps you detect which is which.
I didn't read any of the OP but I'm going to say the answer to your problem based on stats is that you can't wait for her to make any obvious moves.
YOU ARE THE MAN , FLING YOUR BALLS ALL ABOUTS AND TAKE NO PRISONERS.
Be tasteful about it, and it will be fine. Jesus christ.
To answer your question more specifically, I think the reason girls like to mindfuck is because of society. Don't ask me to elaborate.
So wrong.
Girls 'mindfuck' for two reasons, which leads to the problem
either
- they are in a situation like many guys and don't want to lose the guy, but are worried about being too easy and shit like that so they mess with the throttle alot because they aren't fully sure how to proceed .
OR
- you are expendable so when they feel down they will buddy up with you or if they need you for the car pool lane or whatever, then you might not hear from them for a week or two at all.
The problem is , is these two behaviors are extremely similar yet lead to two completely different outcomes. Experience helps you detect which is which.
I didn't read any of the OP but I'm going to say the answer to your problem based on stats is that you can't wait for her to make any obvious moves.
YOU ARE THE MAN , FLING YOUR BALLS ALL ABOUTS AND TAKE NO PRISONERS.
Be tasteful about it, and it will be fine. Jesus christ.
I like your ninja edit about flinging balls everywhere. Life is like paintballing, just keep on shooting them balls and you don't get points for prisoners.
To answer your question more specifically, I think the reason girls like to mindfuck is because of society. Don't ask me to elaborate.
So wrong.
Girls 'mindfuck' for two reasons, which leads to the problem
either
- they are in a situation like many guys and don't want to lose the guy, but are worried about being too easy and shit like that so they mess with the throttle alot because they aren't fully sure how to proceed .
OR
- you are expendable so when they feel down they will buddy up with you or if they need you for the car pool lane or whatever, then you might not hear from them for a week or two at all.
The problem is , is these two behaviors are extremely similar yet lead to two completely different outcomes. Experience helps you detect which is which.
I didn't read any of the OP but I'm going to say the answer to your problem based on stats is that you can't wait for her to make any obvious moves.
YOU ARE THE MAN , FLING YOUR BALLS ALL ABOUTS AND TAKE NO PRISONERS.
Be tasteful about it, and it will be fine. Jesus christ.
I like your ninja edit about flinging balls everywhere. Life is like paintballing, just keep on shooting them balls and you don't get points for prisoners.
lol talking about balls is _always_ funny and _often_ a valuable life lesson.
If shes a mindfuck now she's gonna be a mindfuck even when/if you marry her cute ass; speaking from experience. Harden your soul and understand it's the price of the process of getting with a cute girl.
After a while together this all lessens and you just got to keep your sanity long enough for you to both be used to each other.
The hotter the girl the more potential of a mindfuck she will be so the longer and more annoying the process will be but keep with it and know that in the long run she'll run out of shit to drive you crazy thats when you are either already married or going to be.
As written above ask her ass out already on a serious date and see if you actually like spending time with her away from her friends; remember your a man so act somewhat manly.
try to create a situation where you can get close. party(alc always helps) etc. then just go for it. if it fails, whatever. the doubt is over and friendzone isnz worth shit anyways (except you can go for the friends with benefits route.rare but is great). if you succeed.. well happy bangin.
My friend if you have ever seen the Sandlot you'll know, "She knows what she's doing. She knows EXACTLY what she's doing." Personally I would be straight with her, ask her what the situation is and if she's not serious ask her politely to stop. It's better to know for sure than let it pass without ever knowing.
this is one easy question and I believe you already know the answer and are just posting it so that we can be like DOH! =D
go for it man, if you truly like her and all then ask her out. What are you really waiting for? for her to blatantly say that she likes you? Im gonna take a guess and say she probably wants it to be traditional (guy asks girl out). Somethings been going on maybe and you arent showing signs that you truly like her?? maybe shes reaching out this way
In any case she likes you, there is nothing else if THAT really is the text she sent. Think about it, what kinda girl writes all that explaining what she likes in a guy if not to the guy shes flirting with sighhhhh -_-
There is no friend zone if you have a clue at all with how to interact with people -.- Just suck it up and ask her out. Why do people make these things into such huge deals... Stop watching so much TV and "just do it" - Nike. lol
Damn Chill... You beat me by 5 minutes... But atleast you know what you're talking about. lol
Like others already said, she obviously likes you. If she says things like that. So just ask her out for a real date, without any of her friends around and see what you think of her after that.
If she dosen't like you like that, I think she seems kinda bitchy giving you all these hopes and just turns you down. Then she won't really be worth wasting time on...
Meanwhile in some girl forum: Topic: Guy confusion.
There is a guy I like, I'd be happy to be his girlfriend and I'm giving obvious hint for him to understand this. I'm waiting for his move but he doesn't react. Is he stupid or not interested ? I don't know what to do, plz help me !!!
Okay... This may sound a little harsh, but you can't pull any punches with this shit..
Here's what you're going to do. You're going to stop all this pussy friend zone shit and act like a man. You wanna know why she fucks with your head? It's a test. She's not doing it consciously, she's wired to do it. It's a test of your alpha male qualities. That is to say, whether or not you're MAN ENOUGH to have her. It's primal, it's instinctive, it's a qualification process that pretty girls have to determine whether or not a man is fuck-worthy or friendship-worthy.
I'm not saying go out there and be some overcompensating alpha male jock douchebag. Just fuckin man up and take what you want, because that's what SHE wants. She's waiting for YOU to step up. Drop this "I'm so confused" bullshit, stop ACTING like a pussy, do yourself a favor and MAN UP.
If you're wondering what it is to be a "man" - it's simply about having a strong sense of self. You can be an alpha male nice guy and an alpha male douchebag, both are "men" and will get girls. Why? Because they have these beliefs and values, and they stick by them and don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about it. Girls love that. They want to fuck that.
So know who you are and stand by it. Just make sure your beliefs are not pussy, socially-conditioned nice guy bullshit like "I wait 20 dates before the first kiss" -- if you're confused about it, just balance out primal instincts with modern values using trial and error, and you'll eventually hit the mark.
You're not getting friend zoned period. Just fucking date her. Just ask her out, preferably not with dirty thoughts (easier said than done i know). Talk with her about all this text nonsense (actually semi nonsense) and just kiss her out of reason. Another approach, which could work is the body communication. Either way i'm fucking sure you'll be perfectly fine. Stop asking questions and go for it.
She likes you, ask her out, it's that simple. Every one makes it a big deal when it isn't. Ask her out sometime and act natural. Avoid all advise that has to do with gaming, it's bullshit. Good luck.
I think u need to figure out your own way to do what you need to do. Accept that she may say no, but quit screwing around. Listen to the advice here, but do what you feel comfortable with and be very direct with her.
Just test out the waters, listen to your gut, and if u honestly think u might have a chance then start moving toward asking her out. Asking her to go grab a coffee with you is harmless, and can tell u a decent amount about where u stand IMO. If she's a little flirty then maybe ask her to see a movie or something, or if she isn't flirty but you guys get along and chat it up, maybe ask her to see a movie or something. You can tell her "it doesn't have to be a date" jokingly or something, i dunno, i kind of use humor to take the edge off of akward moments like that. (But really, i mean come on, even IF she says yes to going to the movies, would u go out to movies with someone of the opposite sex who you werent SLIGHTLY interested in? ) Go to the movies, keep gauging her mannerisms toward you, are you a friend? are you someone she's interested in? In the end it doesn't matter, eventually ponying up and asking her is the best thing to do. Just dont spontaneously kiss her like someone else suggested, not a lot of girls i know like stuff like that.
Gain your confidence like that, but only do so much of that, i think waiting months to make a move might be a waste of time. But, keep looking for opportunities to tell her how you feel. Expect it to be like pulling off a bandaid when u actually do so though. It isn't supposed to be easy.
But yea i dont have a hell of a lot of advice other than, maybe when u ask dont be afraid to let off some of the steam leading into telling her you like her, saying something like "this is super akward to say" i think i did that with my current girlfriend and she laughed a little, and it took some of the edge off of the difficult moment then i told her something along the lines of:
lol not really. But yea, quit screwing around and tell her you like her. it can be as simple as that, she'll know what you mean, you'll get your answer and you can finally move on with your life.
Haha thanks love1another for the pitch haha again I love reading these. Men thought process is just as jacked as girls thought process.
Sounds like this girl wants to be more then friends but doesn't want to be the one to make the decision. It's a mind fuck, but not totally, it's a "I like this guy, but I want to make it his decision to go for me so I don't have to deal with rejection." (also sounds like a highschool girl move, her mind fuck abilities have yet to reach full potential)
Girls are master of the "mind fuck" though, it's in our genes it's what we do best. And their are multiple versions of it. I've caught myself doing them and not realized it til later. I'd make a list of all of them, but that would take days haha and i can't reveal all girls secrets. LOL
Guys have testosterone and urges to get in fights and such, While women have estrogen and mind control abilities (like infestors) haha It's a system of control.
She's dropping huge hints but not making any real aggressive moves so you can be the aggressor. It's also a self defense. You don't make a move, she thinks your not into her and she only has to deal with getting over her crush (takes about a month). You make a move and she gets the man she's been wanting. If she were to make a move on you and you reject her, she has to deal with the embarrassment, the feeling of being rejected and the punch in the face that is called, " why doesn't he want me, am I ugly, fat...yada yada" That's a bruise that take awhile to heal.
Also CALL HER! I hate the text flirting crap. You can't tell emotions or read tone of voice. (emoticons are not real emotions, i put smiley faces on insults) You REALLY wanna know how she feels CALL HER and flirt, you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny) or joking joking (lower tone, Oh yeah that would be ideal, nerp nerp)
Well that's all i have time for to write. I got sleeping to do. BoRo out
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
You're not alone man. I have gotten only 2 GFs and planning on taking a 3rd soon but I can't help but feel I missed 20 chances for girls in the past 2 years because I thought they were idiots or something.
edit: u edited out the part that this is why u didn't get any GFs as thats what my post was directed towards D:.
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
You're not alone man. I have gotten only 2 GFs and planning on taking a 3rd soon but I can't help but feel I missed 20 chances for girls in the past 2 years because I thought they were idiots or something.
edit: u edited out the part that this is why u didn't get any GFs as thats what my post was directed towards D:.
Sorry, I just thought that my post was funnier this way!
What I edited out was something like: "Personally I prefer girls who are calm and secure, maybe that's why I haven't gotten any girlfriend...".
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
No. She just loves you!
But how do you respect someone who feels like a moron when you talk to her?
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
You're not alone man. I have gotten only 2 GFs and planning on taking a 3rd soon but I can't help but feel I missed 20 chances for girls in the past 2 years because I thought they were idiots or something.
edit: u edited out the part that this is why u didn't get any GFs as thats what my post was directed towards D:.
Sorry, I just thought that my post was funnier this way!
What I edited out was something like: "Personally I prefer girls who are calm and secure, maybe that's why I haven't gotten any girlfriend...".
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
No. She just loves you!
But how do you respect someone who feels like a moron when you talk to her?
You look at her and go "awwwww...." and all trepidation melts away.
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
You're not alone man. I have gotten only 2 GFs and planning on taking a 3rd soon but I can't help but feel I missed 20 chances for girls in the past 2 years because I thought they were idiots or something.
edit: u edited out the part that this is why u didn't get any GFs as thats what my post was directed towards D:.
Sorry, I just thought that my post was funnier this way!
What I edited out was something like: "Personally I prefer girls who are calm and secure, maybe that's why I haven't gotten any girlfriend...".
On August 14 2010 16:23 love1another wrote:
On August 14 2010 16:19 Klockan3 wrote:
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny)
Personally I hate when girls do that, so annoying, I talk about things and they laugh at literally everything I say! WTF?!??!! Is she an idiot or what???
No. She just loves you!
But how do you respect someone who feels like a moron when you talk to her?
You look at her and go "awwwww...." and all trepidation melts away.
I'm gonna try this, thy 1another. O wait.... weren't u the guy who said not to listen to u? 0.0
Now I'm confused
edit: wait, earlier this year u were concerned about squishing boobs in a hug and how to hug someone at the same height as u.....
A lesbian I know told me once that if she was straight, she would totally date me. Mind you, this was shortly after both of us were checking out a girl in a short skirt..... How the fuck do you interpret that?
You've got much to learn. But, in this situation, you need to just go for it before it's too late.....
On August 14 2010 15:25 BoRo wrote: Haha thanks love1another for the pitch haha again I love reading these. Men thought process is just as jacked as girls thought process.
Sounds like this girl wants to be more then friends but doesn't want to be the one to make the decision. It's a mind fuck, but not totally, it's a "I like this guy, but I want to make it his decision to go for me so I don't have to deal with rejection." (also sounds like a highschool girl move, her mind fuck abilities have yet to reach full potential)
Girls are master of the "mind fuck" though, it's in our genes it's what we do best. And their are multiple versions of it. I've caught myself doing them and not realized it til later. I'd make a list of all of them, but that would take days haha and i can't reveal all girls secrets. LOL
Guys have testosterone and urges to get in fights and such, While women have estrogen and mind control abilities (like infestors) haha It's a system of control.
She's dropping huge hints but not making any real aggressive moves so you can be the aggressor. It's also a self defense. You don't make a move, she thinks your not into her and she only has to deal with getting over her crush (takes about a month). You make a move and she gets the man she's been wanting. If she were to make a move on you and you reject her, she has to deal with the embarrassment, the feeling of being rejected and the punch in the face that is called, " why doesn't he want me, am I ugly, fat...yada yada" That's a bruise that take awhile to heal.
Also CALL HER! I hate the text flirting crap. You can't tell emotions or read tone of voice. (emoticons are not real emotions, i put smiley faces on insults) You REALLY wanna know how she feels CALL HER and flirt, you will hear in her voice if she is being flirty joking (higher pitched, tee hee your funny) or joking joking (lower tone, Oh yeah that would be ideal, nerp nerp)
Well that's all i have time for to write. I got sleeping to do. BoRo out
Woah. Looks like somebody just decrypted a code or something. Makes so much sense now. Mind = blown
On August 15 2010 00:55 ilovezil wrote: So is she white or something? If she likes asian men... well, actually I don't know personally of any race that likes asian men :/
On August 15 2010 00:55 jon arbuckle wrote: Perhaps you are a Fighting type and therefore you are weak to Confusion.
Maybe you should focus on Normal types.
Best advice in this thread, sometimes psychic ones have resistance to fighting.
OT: I think that its pretty clear she likes you, she knew what she was saying when she texted you, and its such an odd text to get as a "joke". Go for it man, I think she's in to you.
Thanks guys for your advice T-T it's just that a few weeks back she said something along the lines of "I see you as my brother", and now all that boyfriend crap :<
On August 15 2010 05:59 Talent.L wrote: Thanks guys for your advice T-T it's just that a few weeks back she said something along the lines of "I see you as my brother", and now all that boyfriend crap :<
I don't get how its crap but wtf. If u have to explain why u were taking so long to ask her to be ur GF I would show her ur TL.net blog Also, does she know ur into SC?
On August 15 2010 05:59 Talent.L wrote: Thanks guys for your advice T-T it's just that a few weeks back she said something along the lines of "I see you as my brother", and now all that boyfriend crap :<
I don't get how its crap but wtf. If u have to explain why u were taking so long to ask her to be ur GF I would show her ur TL.net blog Also, does she know ur into SC?
Yeah she does know about my obsession with sc lol, but no way in hell I would show her this blog ^^; im not taking long to ask her to be my gf :< i'm just a bit confused, that's all
The girl either has an issue of being shy, doesn't want to initiate first because of fears of rejection or just messing with you. In all the cases, I'd just go for it, honestly it'll go really bad or really good, are you man enough to ante up?
On August 14 2010 07:00 Talent.L wrote: WHY CAN’T THEY MAKE SHIT OBVIOUS
bro how much more obvious does it get.
like seriously, read your 5th paragraph over again and then you'll probably realize how dumb you are for typing all thise out and not coming to a conclusion
There's rarely any time when a girl won't go out with you because of being in the "friend zone". Seriously, whenever a girl pulls that it just means she doesn't like you.
In your case, the whole "brother" thing doesn't mean much except she is really close to you. Those things on Facebook aren't even serious lol.