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Girl blog. The first thing that I would like to comment is that, man, girls these days are all about the mindfucking. It really is frustrating to try and decipher a girl’s signs/hints without being led astray, especially for a newbie like me who never had any in-depth experiences with female interactions. Sometimes I would just re-read over and over again the MSN conversation we had or the long spam of cellphone texts we exchange every single damn day; here and there she would show signs of interest and elsewhere it is just complete, plain, “friend-zoned” treatment.
I guess I knew the girl a year ago in high school (she’s two years younger than me btw). Basically the circumstance in which we met was in the school library, where I was doing tutoring for high school math/science courses after school to earn a bit of little extra cash. And I was paired up with her to help her with a science project. Now, I’m definitely not one of those guys who easily succumb to the feminine appeals; but I must admit, she was pretty. But I didn’t pay much attention at that time, and simply wanted to get the tutoring session over with so I can go home with my bills of cash.
So after that first encounter, the usual ensued; we exchanged emails and Facebook, and eventually phone numbers. I didn’t have any particular feelings or emotions towards her at that time; to me she was just a regular girl who I would occasionally talk to and say hi to in the hallways. After a period of interaction I learned that she actually attracts a lot of guys, but she rejected all of them, saying that she simply did not like them because they were too clingy or not-so-good-looking.
So this normal interaction between us continued. And skipping to present-day, I am about to head to Year 2 of University, while she is still in high school. Starting recently, we began talking a lot; occasionally we would hang out together for a movie or a small meal in the food court (nothing big, not a date either because her friends are there as well and she would leave with them after). Slowly, I think I have become some form of brotherly figure to her, which was fine by me. People always say that if two people of opposite genders don’t develop romantic interests in the first stage of their interaction, most likely they will slowly be categorized in the “friend zone”. She would always call me “bro” or “brother”, and also listed me as a “brother” on Facebook, which is nonsense imo because I’m not technically her brother. Problem solved and think no more right? Wrong.
Recently, we began discussing really personal issues, such as what constitutes an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend. So casually I presented to her my perspective on what an ideal girlfriend would be for me; smart, dedicated, non-flirty, and honest girl. And at this point in time, things got out of hand. When it was her turn to describe her ideal type of boyfriend, she gave me a LONG list consisting of all her conditions to the point where my phone would lag like a fag every time I open that text message. What shocks me the most is that her description of that boyfriend is EXACTLY ME; every detail, every behaviour, every appearance requirements, all fit together to be ME. So at this point in time I raised my eyebrows and wtfbbq’ed. It’s like she pinpointed everything she knew about me, and BAM there it is; she said: “asian, taller than me, older than me by at least a year (hmm), have ordinary style of clothing and hair, no wacky hair, tattoos, no super ghetto clothing (umhmm), has to speak English (wtf?) and Cantonese and at least understand Mandarine (OOOoOoOo), can’t be too skinny or big (understandable), has to have good grades (yep I do), cute from time to time personality wise (that’s me too baby :D), he has to be mean teasing kind of way (O_O SOUNDS FAMILIAR), know when to draw the line of being clingy (yepp), scary appearance but kind on the inside (WHATTT THAT IS ME ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEEE), and can’t be able to read his mind (YEAHHH THAT’S FUCKING ME NO DOUBTS ABOUT IT)”.
Fuck this shit, is she talking about me? Now at this point in time I suddenly remembered a text she sent me saying “Want to be my boyfriend? XD jokes jokes.” (Hate shit like this) In an epic fail attempt to get more information, I went along and flirted “I will be your boyfriend if you want to be my girlfriend ; )”. Now, at this point in time she starts telling me that I’m very cute and is absolutely the perfect boyfriend ever (except she would occasionally text me and call me “bro” kjfkljsdkfjsjhwjrhwjrwjh FUCK ME). And I started teasing her, saying “I think you should go for it (me)”. And she replied, “hmm maybe I should...” and immediately changes the topic.
I rage every night because of this. Why? I wouldn’t mind going out with this girl; she seems extremely faithful, honest, non-flirty, and understanding of other people’s feelings. On another hand, I don’t really mind the opposite. BUT what bothers me the most is the whole concept of girls mindfucking guys. WHY CAN’T THEY MAKE SHIT OBVIOUS and just declare how they truly feel? Instead of this bullshit nonsense with “bro” and “perfect boyfriend”. And if she is interested in me, why this whole “brother” shit? If she is not interested in me, why tell me all that stuff about being cute and being the perfect boyfriend?
;_; So now, I ask you, my dear Teamliquid’ers, what is your opinion on this matter? What steps should I take from now on?
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I hear this thread has some useful posts toward the end that deal with the so-called "friend zone." http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=138908
To answer your question more specifically, I think the reason girls like to mindfuck is because of society. Don't ask me to elaborate.
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It's better to be out of the friendzone than to have never tried. You're picking up big signals, which might be an obvious hint from her, or it is positive reinforcement. In either case, you got to give it a try. This is not about reading her mind, this is about reading your own mind and acting to your true feelings.
TL could use an official friendzone f.a.q.
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The link I posted above has an awesome post on the last page by Boro that reads like a friendzone FAQ.
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On August 14 2010 07:14 myopia wrote: paging baller Seconded. And seriously Pineapple. Keep yourself and your PUA nonsense away from these threads.
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i think that link is more for whoring around, unless you are into not being yourself, i mean if you are that way, then be that way, girl dont like it, tell her to beat it. That dude just sells stuff to people who are desperate.
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On July 28 2010 00:50 Chill wrote: Smash them fuckin' titties. You are a stallion.
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Seriously, you are killing yourself. If you are interested, ask her seriously for a date. The worst that can happen is that everything will remain the exact same.
Just do it.
edit: seriously, seriously, seriously
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On August 14 2010 07:03 love1another wrote:
To answer your question more specifically, I think the reason girls like to mindfuck is because of society. Don't ask me to elaborate.
So wrong.
Girls 'mindfuck' for two reasons, which leads to the problem
either
- they are in a situation like many guys and don't want to lose the guy, but are worried about being too easy and shit like that so they mess with the throttle alot because they aren't fully sure how to proceed .
OR
- you are expendable so when they feel down they will buddy up with you or if they need you for the car pool lane or whatever, then you might not hear from them for a week or two at all.
The problem is , is these two behaviors are extremely similar yet lead to two completely different outcomes. Experience helps you detect which is which.
I didn't read any of the OP but I'm going to say the answer to your problem based on stats is that you can't wait for her to make any obvious moves.
YOU ARE THE MAN , FLING YOUR BALLS ALL ABOUTS AND TAKE NO PRISONERS.
Be tasteful about it, and it will be fine. Jesus christ.
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On August 14 2010 07:21 ella_guru wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2010 07:03 love1another wrote:
To answer your question more specifically, I think the reason girls like to mindfuck is because of society. Don't ask me to elaborate. So wrong. Girls 'mindfuck' for two reasons, which leads to the problem either - they are in a situation like many guys and don't want to lose the guy, but are worried about being too easy and shit like that so they mess with the throttle alot because they aren't fully sure how to proceed . OR - you are expendable so when they feel down they will buddy up with you or if they need you for the car pool lane or whatever, then you might not hear from them for a week or two at all. The problem is , is these two behaviors are extremely similar yet lead to two completely different outcomes. Experience helps you detect which is which. I didn't read any of the OP but I'm going to say the answer to your problem based on stats is that you can't wait for her to make any obvious moves. YOU ARE THE MAN , FLING YOUR BALLS ALL ABOUTS AND TAKE NO PRISONERS. Be tasteful about it, and it will be fine. Jesus christ.
I like your ninja edit about flinging balls everywhere. Life is like paintballing, just keep on shooting them balls and you don't get points for prisoners.
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She is obviously talking about me from all the qualities she listed lol. You should man up and make your move.
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Dude, she did make that shit obvious. SHE LIKES U!
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On August 14 2010 07:23 love1another wrote:Show nested quote +On August 14 2010 07:21 ella_guru wrote:On August 14 2010 07:03 love1another wrote:
To answer your question more specifically, I think the reason girls like to mindfuck is because of society. Don't ask me to elaborate. So wrong. Girls 'mindfuck' for two reasons, which leads to the problem either - they are in a situation like many guys and don't want to lose the guy, but are worried about being too easy and shit like that so they mess with the throttle alot because they aren't fully sure how to proceed . OR - you are expendable so when they feel down they will buddy up with you or if they need you for the car pool lane or whatever, then you might not hear from them for a week or two at all. The problem is , is these two behaviors are extremely similar yet lead to two completely different outcomes. Experience helps you detect which is which. I didn't read any of the OP but I'm going to say the answer to your problem based on stats is that you can't wait for her to make any obvious moves. YOU ARE THE MAN , FLING YOUR BALLS ALL ABOUTS AND TAKE NO PRISONERS. Be tasteful about it, and it will be fine. Jesus christ. I like your ninja edit about flinging balls everywhere. Life is like paintballing, just keep on shooting them balls and you don't get points for prisoners.
lol talking about balls is _always_ funny and _often_ a valuable life lesson.
quote me on that.
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TalentL, you're like my interdimensional me ...
I wish you good luck!
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On August 14 2010 07:28 EffectS wrote:TalentL, you're like my interdimensional me ... I wish you good luck! I wish you prosperity and success as a result of your skill and competence rather than as a result of luck.
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If shes a mindfuck now she's gonna be a mindfuck even when/if you marry her cute ass; speaking from experience. Harden your soul and understand it's the price of the process of getting with a cute girl.
After a while together this all lessens and you just got to keep your sanity long enough for you to both be used to each other.
The hotter the girl the more potential of a mindfuck she will be so the longer and more annoying the process will be but keep with it and know that in the long run she'll run out of shit to drive you crazy thats when you are either already married or going to be.
As written above ask her ass out already on a serious date and see if you actually like spending time with her away from her friends; remember your a man so act somewhat manly.
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You should write a song called "Mindfuck" and sing it to her.
I think the lyrics should go something like
verse verse verse
"You're a mind fuck"
verse verse verse
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Threads like this ruin your own self-esteem. Stop.
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