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Hey guys, if you don’t know about my previous girl blog, you can go read it now, as some of the materials there relates to what I have to say today. I feel that in society today, this issue has been brought up again and again in my mind, and it really sicken me that things have to turn out this way.
First of all, a bit of a self-introduction: I have always been a guy who believes in a faithful and trustful relationship with the ladies; I would be extremely angry and unforgiving if my girlfriend is to flirt in any type of way with another guy (even if she’s drunk and unintentional). The reason why I mention “drunk” is because...yes it is very common for people to go clubbing and partying these days, and they drink and get drunk and have fun, fine. And consequently things happen without expectation or whatnot. I’ve heard of stories where a boyfriend is willing to forgive a girlfriend (vice-versa) if one of them got drunk at a club and made out/had sex unintentionally with another individual. Call me unforgiving and selfish, but I would never, under any circumstances, forgive something like that. If the person knows the danger and the possible things that can happen at parties involving alcohol (which they goddamn should if they didn’t live under a rock for their whole life) and the abundant number of horny single guys who simply don’t give a rat’s shit about healthy relationships, then WHY THE FUCK would you get yourself in that situation in the first place? It is both enraging and disappointing every time I hear stories like this.
All of this got me thinking when a female friend of mine went to a club and deliberately made out with random guys while drunk and slept together or whatnot. I don’t know if they had sex or not, and I couldn’t care less. I’ve known her for 4 years and I swear to God that I DID NOT KNOW THIS SIDE OF HER WTF!! To make it worse she did it AGAIN just two nights ago at a different club, probably intentionally. She starts to complain about how the second guy is not as cute as the first, and told me it was all part of the “experience” (thank God she doesn’t have a boyfriend). At that point in time I’ve lost all respect for her; I told her that if it wasn’t for our friendship, I would despise her so much, which is very true because I really dislike people like this. Just last night, I received ANOTHER text message from a best friend of mine who had sex at a party while both him and his partner were drunk. You know what, to some degree, I would let out some form of sympathy for people who make the wrong decisions under the influence of alcohol. But goddamn he had NO REMORSE whatsoever, and starts bragging about losing his virginity to some girl who he doesn’t give a slightest shit about and might never see her again (really, I need to find some other friends).
And now I fear that this trend is too common in society today, and slowly I’ve lose interest and faith in developing romantic interests. I have been involved in and seen a lot of people who say “I love you” and “let’s be together forever” in so many relationships, and I fear that the word “love” has really lost its meaning. Fortunately, thinking back, every “I love you” out of my lips have been true from my heart, and needlessly to say I’m very proud of myself for being so dedicated (my dad would always say that as a man I should always take responsibilities for my promises and actions, and I’m happy that I’ve been able to accomplish that). And conversely, it is hard to find a girl nowadays who would do the same for me. Mind you, I’m going to be picky and be really careful in choosing my future girlfriend, because I would really like the relationship to last and be able to wake up every day to her knowing that I can trust her one hundred percent.
Is there any hope? :/
/end rant.
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Many people still believe sex should be about a deep emotional connection as much as it is a physical one.
However, just a kiss? There is something to be said for a fleeting moment of intimacy between a stranger you feel overwhelmingly attracted to, even if you don't see that person again.
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Everybody loses innocence, you cannot deny losing yours either. Its just a matter of how everybody takes it. You hate this sense of gladly accepting the loss of innocence and continually doing so, while they don't. What can you really do to stop it? Absolutely nothing. The only thing that you can change is yourself.
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On August 17 2010 00:03 Talent.L wrote:Is there any hope? :/ No.
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Physical attraction is just as valid as emotional attraction, if not more natural and more instinctual. While I applaud you for your innocent believes, I also think you need to be less shallow and judgmental.
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Do you ask potential dates to prove that their hymen isn't broken yet?? Jesus. I think you should be more judgemental.
You must be a real winner to shit on your friend who kissed a dude at a club. She's impure now dude.
You're going to be severely disappointed when you find that not many people share your hilariously romanticized beliefs.
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On August 17 2010 00:17 Hawk wrote: Do you ask potential dates to prove that their hymen isn't broken yet?? Jesus. I think you should be more judgemental.
You must be a real winner to shit on your friend who kissed a dude at a club. She's impure now dude.
You're going to be severely disappointed when you find that not many people share your hilariously romanticized beliefs.
man what's your problem? I'm just presenting my point of view on things. Calm down. Don't worry, I'm severely disappointed enough, and I don't really find my morals to be hilariously funny.
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Can't sex be whatever you want it to be? What's wrong with someone having 'meaningful' romantic sex with their lovers/girlfriends/boyfriends, and also (while single) having shallow (yet fun) sex with strangers?
To put it in casual language, most guys/girls would like to go out and bang a random hot girl/guy, but would also be very happy in a loving relationship. To me, it seems strange to make these different kinds of sex mutually exclusive, and to get morally outraged about one.
It's just kind of a weird thing to take a stand on. I get a lot more worried by how few people read books or truly love music.
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I'm going to say you're in an incredibly small minority if you think there is ANYTHING wrong with a SINGLE girl making out with random guys. I have multiple female friends that have made out with 50+ guys. One of them is still a virgin, another had sex with only her boyfriend of three years and no one else once committed.
If you think there is anything wrong with making out... I shudder to think at the extreme level of innocence in your life.
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On August 17 2010 00:21 Tal wrote: Can't sex be whatever you want it to be? What's wrong with someone having 'meaningful' romantic sex with their lovers/girlfriends/boyfriends, and also (while single) having shallow (yet fun) sex with strangers?
To put it in casual language, most guys/girls would like to go out and bang a random hot girl/guy, but would also be very happy in a loving relationship. To me, it seems strange to make these different kinds of sex mutually exclusive, and to get morally outraged about one.
It's just kind of a weird thing to take a stand on. I get a lot more worried by how few people read books or truly love music.
I like to think this as well, but unfortunately, society tells us mixing serious relationship with casual sex is a recipe for disaster
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Yea I think innocence equates to a lack of experience, really.
Sorry OP : ( ( (
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On August 17 2010 00:28 Cambium wrote:Show nested quote +On August 17 2010 00:21 Tal wrote: Can't sex be whatever you want it to be? What's wrong with someone having 'meaningful' romantic sex with their lovers/girlfriends/boyfriends, and also (while single) having shallow (yet fun) sex with strangers?
To put it in casual language, most guys/girls would like to go out and bang a random hot girl/guy, but would also be very happy in a loving relationship. To me, it seems strange to make these different kinds of sex mutually exclusive, and to get morally outraged about one.
It's just kind of a weird thing to take a stand on. I get a lot more worried by how few people read books or truly love music.
I like to think this as well, but unfortunately, society tells us mixing serious relationship with casual sex is a recipe for disaster
Ah yeah, I agree - I'm not advocating an open relationship. Just saying, while someone's single, I think it's cool for them to have casual sex - even if at some stage they'll eventually want something more meaningful.
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As much as I hopelessly agree with you, it's something you'll have to decide for yourself. You will probably deal with this "common behavior", as you call it, on such a common basis that you'll either conform to the ideals or grow numb to the value of love and trust as you know from the traditional and faithful ways of having a relationship.
I think I was very much like you not too long ago. I hated the idea of opening the sanctity of relationships beyond faith towards one another, and I hated the idea of having sex with multiple partners just for the lust. Now, I joke and laugh about it and even accept the behavior as normal when I hear about it from peers and coworkers. Just know one thing: if you're going to stick to your beliefs, be prepared to fight against the ideals of the majority. Even in this thread, I'm pretty sure you'll find enough criticism.
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Actually, I used to think like this when I was in high school (Chinese upbringing if that matters), then I had sex... Just stating a fact.
I don't find your morals "hilarious", I just think they are too traditional for your own good in today's society.
edit:
Okay, I just read your previous blog. I think your opinion will change once you have a sexual encounter, and realize that it's not as holy as you thought it should be.
You are just conjuring up an idealistic image of what sex actually is, but in reality, it could just be a pure carnal interaction and nothing more.
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Innocence is bullshit, its basically that you were taught how it "ought" to be. Look at history, and you'll notice tons and tons of arranged marriages and lust. Look around you, and see how many people married on that strong, returned "love" you're looking for? How many of those still maintain that feeling?
Love is fleeting.
Also, you're probably more likely to gain the trust of a person that you're in a friends-with-benefits relationship than someone you have a romantic relationship with. FWB can be more open about their flaws and weaknesses, and don't have to make up bullshit should they want to be with someone else, fleetingly or not. It's natural to sometimes just think "damn I want that girl", and with a FWB, you can express that thought, or talk about your sexuality, whereas with a significant other that's going to cause drama.
Personally I'd rather have sex with someone I KNOW I won't be in a relationship with while I'm still young, getting married at 25 seems like waste to me. (I'm currently 22)
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On August 17 2010 00:20 Talent.L wrote:Show nested quote +On August 17 2010 00:17 Hawk wrote: Do you ask potential dates to prove that their hymen isn't broken yet?? Jesus. I think you should be more judgemental.
You must be a real winner to shit on your friend who kissed a dude at a club. She's impure now dude.
You're going to be severely disappointed when you find that not many people share your hilariously romanticized beliefs. man what's your problem? I'm just presenting my point of view on things. Calm down. Don't worry, I'm severely disappointed enough, and I don't really find my morals to be hilariously funny.
And I'm presenting mine: Anyone who would look down on a single friend because she kissed a dude at a club is a judgmental asshole. It's a goddamn kiss. It's not like she picked up eight random dudes for some bukkake fun out in the alley behind the club. Yet you told her that if you were not already friends, you'd hate her.
Real cool bro.
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Why so serious? What is so special about body fluid swapping that it has to limit to people that are in serious relationships? Not everyone is brought up thinking the way you do.
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On August 17 2010 00:49 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On August 17 2010 00:20 Talent.L wrote:On August 17 2010 00:17 Hawk wrote: Do you ask potential dates to prove that their hymen isn't broken yet?? Jesus. I think you should be more judgemental.
You must be a real winner to shit on your friend who kissed a dude at a club. She's impure now dude.
You're going to be severely disappointed when you find that not many people share your hilariously romanticized beliefs. man what's your problem? I'm just presenting my point of view on things. Calm down. Don't worry, I'm severely disappointed enough, and I don't really find my morals to be hilariously funny. And I'm presenting mine: Anyone who would look down on a single friend because she kissed a dude at a club is a judgmental asshole. It's a goddamn kiss. It's not like she picked up eight random dudes for some bukkake fun out in the alley behind the club. Yet you told her that if you were not already friends, you'd hate her. Real cool bro.
yeah cool story its not the kissing i have a problem with learn to read carefully
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If the girl isn't in a relationship it's not really a big deal if is kissing random people. That's pretty standard. You mention losing interest in romantic relationships because of the whole party / promiscuous scene. If you want a girl who isn't into that and doesn't make out with random people when single, then date a girl like that, rather than stop dating completely lol
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On August 17 2010 00:03 Talent.L wrote: All of this got me thinking when a female friend of mine went to a club and deliberately made out with random guys while drunk and slept together or whatnot. I don’t know if they had sex or not, and I couldn’t care less. I’ve known her for 4 years and I swear to God that I DID NOT KNOW THIS SIDE OF HER WTF!! To make it worse she did it AGAIN just two nights ago at a different club, probably intentionally. She starts to complain about how the second guy is not as cute as the first, and told me it was all part of the “experience” (thank God she doesn’t have a boyfriend). At that point in time I’ve lost all respect for her; I told her that if it wasn’t for our friendship, I would despise her so much, which is very true because I really dislike people like this.
Odd, that seems to be your name and your writing here. I've bolded some parts for emphasis, in case your own writing confuses you.
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