you do (not) make a girl blog - Page 4
Blogs > Shauni |
Boundz(DarKo)
5311 Posts
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Yorbon
Netherlands4272 Posts
Although it did make sense; this blog creeped me out big time (and i'm a man >.>) | ||
Kleinmuuhg
Vanuatu4091 Posts
On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Hello, this is KwarK's girlfriend. ... You're not fooling anyone. | ||
KwarK
United States40791 Posts
On September 21 2013 16:50 Chairman Ray wrote: Hi Kwark's girlfriend. What happens when you two get into an argument? How does arguments even work with Kwark? When we what? | ||
Zergneedsfood
United States10671 Posts
On September 21 2013 18:07 Boundz(DarKo) wrote: lol too obvious trolling, but funny pls | ||
KazeHydra
Japan2788 Posts
it's okay. ignorance is bliss. | ||
xAPOCALYPSEx
1418 Posts
Probably good too | ||
unkkz
Norway2196 Posts
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Shauni
4077 Posts
On September 21 2013 08:26 ninazerg wrote: SHAUNI I SHALL BE YOUR FRIEND :3 :3 On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: You describe this girl as "a now-defiant fish." What or whom is she defying? It is important to analyze your word usage here. Defiance typically denotes a resistance to some kind of power or authority. You have no power or authority over this woman. She is defying nothing by saying "I don't want anything to do with you." She is clearly communicating that she does not want to engage with you on any level that is not absolutely necessary ("At present, the only (non work related) things she will say are things like 'don't touch me' and 'don't look at me'."). To reiterate, this woman has communicated a boundary to you. When someone communicates boundaries to you, it is important that you respect those boundaries. I am not a licensed professional, but here is some information on respecting others' boundaries and why it is important. I think it would also be beneficial to you to read up on how to respond to someone who does not respect your personal boundaries so that there are not any questions remaining about why this woman is acting the way she is. I use the word defiant because it's how I see it. A male inherently feel the need to assess dominance over the woman, it's part of who we are. On a less primal plane however, I feel she's defiant by the principles she sets up for herself. She can forcefully hug me on her own terms (the warmth and embracing nature of the vagina), but whenever I ask her politely to hug or touch me she declines because it's the way for her to stay in control. In fact, I respect her boundaries more than she respects mine. I don't force myself onto her physically. Society is very hypocritical when it balances gender roles (and the acceptance of them) with the more primal nature of the sexes. On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Okay. When you are trying to make polite small talk/conversation with someone and they just stare and you, that's unnerving. "Um... did he not hear me? What is he thinking about? Oh god, he's just staring at me and not saying anything..." If it happens often enough, it's irritating. I think you're leaving something out of this part of the story, because it doesn't follow that the timeline goes from you staring at her to her trying to switch her hours to avoid you. That's fine, you don't have to tell us what the missing piece is, but you do need to identify it to yourself and think about why those actions caused her to feel unsafe or uncomfortable enough around you to avoid you like this. Words are not the main means of communication. I feel that women are especially reliant on words. They often ask questions when they are nervous, they open their mouth when they have absolutely nothing to say. To refuse to speak is to give them the 'ball' back, to make them more conscious of their own nature. I think that the annoyance just accumulated, to one point where she started screaming and saying that it'd be best if we didn't work together because she can't keep her cool with me. It was something silly about the keys, apparently I had them on me but I didn't respond to her inquiry so she went around looking for them and then coming back mad with rage since I had them on me. I'd also sometimes make innocent jokes about her being slow-witted and could come off quite blunt which was not part of my intention. She'd take offense at some to me very minor things, not really sensing the atmosphere. I blame my poor social skills for this misunderstanding. On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: There is no reason you should call this woman a bitch for wishing to feel safe and comfortable in her work environment. There is nothing bitchy about that action. I think you're right, she only acts like a bitch while mirroring my own actions. It's my own 'fault' she acts like this to me. Not looking at someone you're having a conversation with and trying to purposefully retort some unengaging response no matter what you say is a bit disrespectful though. On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Smelling someone's jacket is weird. I don't know what else to say about that one. She freaked out at you because you'd done it after she'd made attempts to distance herself from you because you were making her uncomfortable. The correct way to respond to a person being cold towards you is to give them the space they desire instead of acting out in order to receive more attention from them. You're a grown-ass man. Act like an adult, please. I think this was misinterpreted by some, I didn't smell the jacket she was wearing currently, I merely picked it up, smelled at it and asked if it was hers. I barely even did it consciously. And grown men still use scent and body odor to determine their partner. I don't see anything wrong here. If you think a girl smells nice, obviously you want to keep smelling her with every opportunity you can get. On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Please see the above section regarding personal boundaries. Again, she is communicating personal boundaries here. Yep. Fully ignoring your existence because she's stated that she does not want you to look at her, touch her, and that she does not want to be friends with you. Again, it's not that she's ignoring my existence that's the frustrating part, it's more like she's displaying her boyfriend and his dominance over her saying "this is not attainable for you in this life span". Of course it's frustrating, it's like a part of you is being severed. On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Red flags everywhere. Jealous men commit acts of unspeakable brutality because they feel that they have the right to possess something that does not want to or cannot be possessed. A jealous man kills his ex-girlfriend's new partner because he feels that she belongs to him and has no free will of her own; essentially, he dehumanizes her in his mind. Not okay. Very, very not okay. This is also not-so-vaguely reminiscent of George Sodini, the Pennsylvania man who entered a health club and shot & killed three women before killing himself, citing a deep hatred for women and not having been laid since like 1990 or something. You're being very judgmental. I don't see any right or wrong in these actions. The actions committed by human being are inherently what makes them human beings. Men would not be men without their possessive nature. Women would not be women without their submissive but manipulative nature. I don't believe in hurting other human beings, but I don't judge people who do. You could also be George Sodini with the "correct" circumstances. The case is pretty interesting to read about actually. On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: It's reassuring and encouraging to hear that this only brought you temporary relief. While I'm happy that you chose a safe and ultimately harmless environment in which to vent your frustrations, do not make a habit of this. I am not sure exactly what you mean by "...defiled" and I do not fully want to know, but whatever it was, acting out violence upon some kind of avatar for an actual person isn't healthy and it may lead you to dehumanize the person in your mind. Instead, consider picking up some more activities when you're feeling like defiling a Skyrim model. Pick up a couch-to-5k program, look into kayaking or rowing if you live near water, look for a crossfit class, perfect your deadlift form or pick up a used guitar and teach yourself to play. Hell, take yoga classes. That shit rules. Just channel your energy into something that ultimately improves your life by making you smarter, healthier, or just plain happier. I like this advice. I think they can be intertwined though. I'm actually trying to perfect my deadlift form, my posture and do yoga. It's meaningful for my goals. On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Finally, you're right. Nothing in your post approaches love. You don't know what love is, unfortunately. I feel like you see women around you as not-quite-people who owe you things and who are bitches if they do not give you the attention you feel you deserve. You do not garner affection and love by overstepping or completely ignoring other people's boundaries or by making little Skyrim voodoo dolls and harming them. Hopefully you'll have a lot of personal development in your future and you can look back on this stage in your life and help others avoid the mistakes you made. Until then, please do not smell anyone else's jackets or employ any other attention-getting tactics when someone's not paying enough attention to you. Best wishes, good luck, safe travels, etc. It's true what you say, I shouldn't feel entitled to any type of human contact or intimacy. I dehumanize women, sexualize them and still crave their attention. It's kind of pathetic, like a lowly worm trying to crawl up the girl's leg while avoiding being squashed. On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Uh, what? What do you want with her in the first place if you don't even like her? Was this a creative writing exercise and I just missed the prompt? Yeesh. I've never met a female with an interesting personality, but really I do like her. I just don't care about her personality. I like her body, I like her smell, I like her expressions. I'd like her body close. Actually, there are other bodies I'd like too, but she's been occupying my mind so much unwillingly lately so naturally I'll write about her. | ||
Awesomedrifter
Canada62 Posts
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Shield
Bulgaria4824 Posts
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
this is some fucked up shit. even more so after reading your response above. | ||
Burrfoot
United States1176 Posts
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Sentenal
United States12398 Posts
I think that the annoyance just accumulated, to one point where she started screaming and saying that it'd be best if we didn't work together because she can't keep her cool with me. It was something silly about the keys, apparently I had them on me but I didn't respond to her inquiry so she went around looking for them and then coming back mad with rage since I had them on me. I'd also sometimes make innocent jokes about her being slow-witted. To translate to something normal people understand. This girl needed keys at work to do her job. She asked Shauni for them. He had them. He just stared at her. She went around, and eventually found out that he had the keys, didn't give them to her because he was too busy staring at her, and gets upset. Or he would call her stupid, or something to that nature. Then he comes onto IRC and asks people for advise on her "route", like its an eroge or something. I'm not joking. | ||
-Kaiser-
Canada932 Posts
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Elegy
United States1629 Posts
On September 22 2013 11:50 -Kaiser- wrote: Jesus fucking christ you are a screwed up little creep. I blame the internet. The sad thing is his post just a few posters above desperately attempts to legitimize his warped sense of reality. Shit, if I was the girl's boyfriend I'd probably beat the shit of this kid, he's far beyond "socially awkward" and into the realm of batshit insane. | ||
CecilSunkure
United States2829 Posts
Edit: and you sound like a rapist (read, "That defiant bitch, I like her smell and crave her body"). | ||
babylon
8765 Posts
And when you feel up to it, maybe you should get a dog and give it unconditional love and receive its unconditional love. Dogs make people better people. Just make sure you're ready to care for one. | ||
lichter
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22271 Posts
A male inherently feel the need to assess dominance over the woman, it's part of who we are. what I ask her politely to hug or touch me she declines because it's the way for her to stay in control. No, it's because randomly asking for hugs, especially from girls, is weird. Unless there is a good reason for it, like your puppy died or something. Also, "touch me"???? It was something silly about the keys, apparently I had them on me but I didn't respond to her inquiry so she went around looking for them and then coming back mad with rage since I had them on me. You had the keys, she needed them, you didn't give it to her. If it were just any keys then maybe it would have been okay, but it was for work. You don't do that to a colleague. She had every right to be mad. Not looking at someone you're having a conversation with and trying to purposefully retort some unengaging response no matter what you say is a bit disrespectful though. And staring at someone blankly without answering them, "trying to purposefully retort some unengaging response" as you say, and not giving them what they need for work is also disrespectful. Maybe she overreacted a bit but you really made it easy for her to do so with the jacket sniffing and shit. I think this was misinterpreted by some, I didn't smell the jacket she was wearing currently, I merely picked it up, smelled at it and asked if it was hers. How is this any less creepy? You smelled a random jacket and assumed it was hers because of the scent? Personal space isn't just physical, man And all this rationalization with 'science' (choosing mates based on pheromones, male dominance, whatever) doesn't excuse your socially unacceptable behavior. Men would not be men without their possessive nature. Women would not be women without their submissive but manipulative nature. I don't believe in hurting other human beings, but I don't judge people who do. + I dehumanize women, sexualize them and still crave their attention. It's kind of pathetic, like a lowly worm trying to crawl up the girl's leg while avoiding being squashed. + I just don't care about her personality. I like her body, I like her smell, I like her expressions. I'd like her body close. Serious stalker/rapist vibe, yo Stop trying to rationalize and explain away your behavior. Just because you think you mean one thing, does not excuse how you express it. Even if you mean "hello", if you end up saying "shit", it's still shit. | ||
AnachronisticAnarchy
United States2957 Posts
Unfortunately for this guy, he hasn't learned young. He'll need years to re-wire his brain, and that's if he's willing to acknowledge that he's fairly fucked up and willing to go through the massive effort of fixing himself. | ||
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