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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On August 22 2016 20:16 Laurens wrote:Show nested quote +On August 22 2016 19:31 LemOn wrote:On August 22 2016 18:22 Ghostcom wrote:On August 22 2016 17:47 LemOn wrote:On August 22 2016 17:30 bloodwhore~ wrote: Slightly random question.
Are you guys good at giving compliments? I've noticed I'm pretty bad at it, I almost never do it. I believe in honesty in a relationship, so I tell her that the black trousers she likes are damn horrible and make her look like a 50 year old bank lady, when I dislike something, but on the other side of the coin tell her what I do like constantly. I think the important thing is to realise your brain is evolutionary wired to only be vocal and focus on things you dislike as they can change and can be a threat, and can take the positive things for granted. So it does take some adjustment to start being mindful to positive things and learn to express what you're observing. And you have to do just that - just honestly be aware and keep sharing what you like (dislike) and appreciate about them, be grateful and don't take anything for granted. Do you have anything to back this up? Like, anything published in something with a peer review? Well my field of study was behavioural economics, but the fact that people assign higher value and put more effort into avoiding pain/loss than they value and focus on positive gains is to psychology as Michael Jackson was to music. I'm sure you can find resources for this but the logic is really simple - when the brain got wired of many thousands of years the most important thing was to be on the lookout for danger and avoiding losses so you could survive which is the highest priority instead of focusing on what you already have and try to get more of it when there was no immediate danger of losing it as that had low impact on survival. Happy researching! A simple "No." would have sufficed https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loss_aversion
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Yeah pretty much - that people besides those with high psychopathic traits put higher value and effort into avoiding losses than acquiring gains is a fact many many times replicated.
And how else would brain get wired like this than through evolution.
Obviously my reasons as to why were a speculation albeit one that seems pretty straightforward
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Loss aversion is not proof of people noticing (or being more prone to comment on) things they dislike about their partner more than things they do like. It is a best tangentially related. But let's not get sidetracked - I was merely curious.
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United States15275 Posts
Ugh, evolutionary psychology is the least credible aspect of a field whose very principles have been unstable over time. Keep it out of this thread.
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I dunno but I feel like evolutionary psychology is pretty legit for a team liquid dating thread. At least open to discussion
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A little status update:
- A few weeks ago visited the girl I was talking about, whom I already met once. I traveled to the other side of my country. It was shit. I was kinda bored by her personality, sometimes even annoyed, but I was like whatever, let's just fuck. However, at the gates of the hotel, she had second thoughts, she never did sth like that before, what if she'd hate herself, blahblah, I was like fuck this shit, I have one train back to our capital, and no train back home, the first one departs around 4:50 midnight. I was in a T-shirt and shorts and it was fucking freezing. She offered me to pay half of the cost for a room or even stay with me a bit longer, but nah, my pride said to just leave into the unknown. I got extremely lucky to find a place to stay at a friend, so overall it was an okay adventure I guess. A friend of mine said I was stupid, I should've accepted the offer and make a move on her there. Meh, maybe it would've worked, but I was already fed up.
- I learned this lessson the hard way: no matter how horny you are, if someone is beyond ugliness, you will not enjoy fucking her. I won't even go into details. Big mistake, but at least my friends giving me shit for it constantly, so that's good, I should not get away with it. Ever. :D Lesson learned at least.
And I arrived to the girl I'm "seeing" now, we already met twice, and of course, she has a 3 year old too! So yeah, don't be too proud of me just yet. However, at least her daughter is actually cute, but more importantly she (28 years old) is very pretty herself too. I would date her in a heartbeat if it wasn't for her child. Smaller than me, great body, beautiful face, I only wish she would style her hair in a way that appeals to me more, but oh well, first world problems. Ah, almost forgot to mention, she is is still in a relationship with the father, so I'm basically a lover. Yaaaaaaaay, I've never been one before, so cool!
Not really though, I told her all the risks are on her, because even if we get found out, what could he do with me? Threaten me on facebook? Spooky. But she's living there, with the child. Not much adrenaline on my part is what I'm trying to say here. I don't know too much about the guy, he's just not doing anything to the best of my knowledge. Not going anywhere with them, playing on the computer, constantly in arguments in each other. But she says the sex is still good. LOL. Don't even ask, I already did aplently. How is that even possible is beyond me and probably my biggest turn off from this whole thing.
She's kinda into me, and I made some mistake in hinting that I might feel more too, but I'm already on damage control, which basically means not to be super lovely to her, because it's not a game after all. Her aunt and family already knows about me, and he told the father of his boyfriend that she's looking to get out of the relationship. Anyway, what she does with her life is entirely on her, I don't care and I'm not telling her what to do. I'm just giving you some background info.
She's pervy enough to my taste, though she got freaked out from some of my... desires? Dunno, like I was about to finger her and she said I'm mental, I should not do that while she's on her period. Unless there are hygienic consequences on her part, I'm not sure what to worry about some blood. Anyway, it was great, especially the second meeting. When I tried to slip into the panties, she repeatedly put me down, so much that I eventually stopped trying. If she doesn't want it, then so be it, what can I do. Then later on, SHE was the one who guided my hand there. Seriously, I don't know if all girls are like that, but that's just confusing. I was already grabbing, sucking her boobs, grabbing her bare ass, but no, I could not touch anything on the front. Then she just moves my hand there later. Okay.
Now, it was my first encounter where I could not make the girl climax. As I said, I could not finger her, so I had to do it through clit stimulation - she also refused to let me go down on her, like seriously, I'm starting to believe I'm indeed the animal here. Now, the problem is I have no idea how to do that. I tried to rub it in a circular motion, up and down, slowly, faster, harder, lighter. Nah dude, how am I supposed to know exactly what to do with that? Sometimes she said "don't stop...", but a.) the whole motion felt weird, I could not keep it up EXACTLY the way I did right then b.) it was tiring.
The whole act was tiring though. Even just being on top of her and keeping myself up lead to my knees or even body eventually shaking. Maybe I'm just weak, but still, all my respect to the people who do some marathon sessions till the morning.
Oh, in case I did not mention, we were out in the open, on a field. Yes, you already know it! Just when we were most passionately working in each others' pants, furiously, we heard a bell ranging from a bicycle. As I turned around, I saw a middle aged mother and two children (daughter, son, both around 10+) biking towards us. I guess that's one more thing ticked off from the list
Not sure what's next, but right now I'd like to milk this "relationship" as much as possible. It's almost all I need.
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Yeah I can't see how this could end bad at all .
I've found that single moms are often kinda hot. See them on tinder sometimes. They're hot enough to fuck around, and because they do not seem to be all that bright always they don't use a condom - bam a kid. The guy probably don't want to ruin his life being so young so he bails.
I would never date someone with a kid, can't see me having a kid for at least 10 years. Can't remember, but how old are you volband?
Just be aware that you are most likely using her desperation for a partner and dad for her daughter just to fuck her - seeing how I doubt you are interested in a real relationship with her and her daughter. You should probably ask her what she is after at some point. I guess she could be just after casual sex as well though.
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I'll be 25 on the 19. She's the smartest girl I've been with so far, she just yearns for love which she doesnt get at home. Her husband is lame, and if he's not even cheating on her, he's a fucking loser. I mean, if u dont give a shit about ur daughter and mom despite living under the same roof...
She'd like a partner but I told her my intentions clearly: friends with benefits. We all know this thibg is on a timer, but she doesn't want to talk about it. I can relate, she's in a shitty place in life now. I told her I can be of use to her to relearn to respect herself, even if it means dropping me at the end of the road. But fixing her is not my priority, I'm just here if she needs help. I'm getting the quasi girlfriend experience from her, with all its ups and downs. It's neat, I have already learned a ton., even about myself.
I am totally honest with her, I told her we are not going to be a couple. She has a lot to fear to be damaged badly, but my helping hand is there, up to her if she grabs it on her way of healing, or she'll return to the desperate, shitty life she's living now.
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Bloodwhore's sig slowly went from "currently dating:" to "girls dated:" into finally "number:"
Techies love remains unchanged.
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On September 04 2016 01:32 Volband wrote: I'll be 25 on the 19. She's the smartest girl I've been with so far, she just yearns for love which she doesnt get at home. Her husband is lame, and if he's not even cheating on her, he's a fucking loser. I mean, if u dont give a shit about ur daughter and mom despite living under the same roof...
She'd like a partner but I told her my intentions clearly: friends with benefits. We all know this thibg is on a timer, but she doesn't want to talk about it. I can relate, she's in a shitty place in life now. I told her I can be of use to her to relearn to respect herself, even if it means dropping me at the end of the road. But fixing her is not my priority, I'm just here if she needs help. I'm getting the quasi girlfriend experience from her, with all its ups and downs. It's neat, I have already learned a ton., even about myself.
I am totally honest with her, I told her we are not going to be a couple. She has a lot to fear to be damaged badly, but my helping hand is there, up to her if she grabs it on her way of healing, or she'll return to the desperate, shitty life she's living now. Aha! All is well then! Keep slaying boi.
On September 04 2016 01:34 Skynx wrote: Bloodwhore's sig slowly went from "currently dating:" to "girls dated:" into finally "number:"
Techies love remains unchanged. Haha, well it was a bit weird when I was posting in the techies appreciation thread and other outsiders saw my signature .
Praying for a techie buff 6.69!
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Bloodwhore, is the no. 14 how many girls you banged or how many you went on a date with, of which some ended up in the nookie?
Leading to my second question, why do you feel its important to share that info?
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People gotta know yo. Don't you listen to hip hop?
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On September 04 2016 12:54 ragnasaur wrote: People gotta know yo. Don't you listen to hip hop? If you take hiphop's lead you should start tattooing stripes in your neck - one for each girl ;p
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i find it most amusing that bloodwhore was a virgin who knew nothing about dating girls, but now he brags about his 'number' and gives advice out to everyone. oh how times have changed
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On September 04 2016 12:14 B.I.G. wrote: Bloodwhore, is the no. 14 how many girls you banged or how many you went on a date with, of which some ended up in the nookie?
Leading to my second question, why do you feel its important to share that info? Number of girls I've went on a date with.
Not really important perhaps. However I have been more or less been using this thread as a personal blog (at least before). So it's for those who want an easier way to keep track of how many I've dated, people kept asking how many etc so I just put it in.
On September 04 2016 14:58 evilfatsh1t wrote: i find it most amusing that bloodwhore was a virgin who knew nothing about dating girls, but now he brags about his 'number' and gives advice out to everyone. oh how times have changed Well to be fair, I've always given out my opinion. Most of my advice is pretty generic or just personal opinions. There is no 'correct advice', otherwise this thread wouldn't even exist so the whole 'i was a virgin 1.5 year ago' is irrelevant. Not to mention, I barely ever see anyone having a different opinion than me which makes your notion that my advice would be worth less valid pretty dumb.
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Although keeping track of a number like that is a bit douchy I do respect the fact that you had your goal, you put in the effort, and you succeeded. I think a lot of guys that complain about not being able to get any girl could learn a lesson from you..
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I think it's more of a running meme in this thread instead of him being douchy
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On September 05 2016 22:51 B.I.G. wrote: Although keeping track of a number like that is a bit douchy I do respect the fact that you had your goal, you put in the effort, and you succeeded. I think a lot of guys that complain about not being able to get any girl could learn a lesson from you.. I'll remove it for your sanity
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On September 06 2016 02:31 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2016 22:51 B.I.G. wrote: Although keeping track of a number like that is a bit douchy I do respect the fact that you had your goal, you put in the effort, and you succeeded. I think a lot of guys that complain about not being able to get any girl could learn a lesson from you.. I'll remove it for your sanity Such a flimsy excuse. You just don't want us to know about your slutting around anymore...
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