On August 14 2010 08:39 IskatuMesk wrote:
Terrans = Space Hicks. Supply depots are full of cousins, and hicks reproduce like locust. Put two and two together and the barracks is more like a space brothel.
Protoss = Elves. You can only see Elves when you're drunk off your ass (space hicks are always drunk, go figure). They appear and reproduce through MAGIC. If you ask a Space Hick, anyways. In reality Protoss are plants, so every Gateway basically transports fully grown plants from gardens in ships from where ever the sunlight is facing. Motherships are basically giant greenhouses - hence the semi-transparent windows covering the central structure.
Zerg are basically Space Gophers. Space Hicks don't really care where they come from or why they're here, only that they threaten the racks of cousins they have stowed away and need to be dynamited while they're still in their holes. Some Gophers explode, so Space Hicks call up those farmer's wives who know a few things about patching up gashes from Cletus' latest run-in with the space tractor. Except they kept getting iced by Gophers and Elves so now they fly around in space tractors and are more expensive to hire as a result.
Battlecruisers are basically flying pick-ups with those neighbors that sit on their porch with 50 cals taking pot shots at tumbleweed.
ROFL WHAT THE FUCK. HAHA