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A girl will say "fuck you" to her morals the instant she feels horny. Trust me on this. I've known, dated and fucked too many Christian girls to count.
They all say: "I'm waiting for marriage... I'll only date Christian guys... Etc." But once you get them in the mood, they'll come up with a million excuses. It's easy to break down their defences by saying: "Oh, but the Bible doesn't specifically say anywhere that you can't have sex before marriage," or "You've got try new things sometimes, God will understand" - all whilst fingering their clits through their panties.
If you can get the girl attracted to you, the Bible won't be a problem. If you don't take her virginity, some other asshole will. Christians are never innocent.
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Relationships should be give and take. Don't change the way you live if she wouldn't change the way she will.
I (am a pessimist but I) don't think it will work out in the long term D: She just values christianity way too much, to the point that she outright refuses to date you until you convert. That's a bit controlling and intolerant, imo. She could at least accept you for who you are. That's what makes things work. Acceptance. Yeah.
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On August 01 2011 22:32 Discretionary Duck wrote: A girl will say "fuck you" to her morals the instant she feels horny. Trust me on this. I've known, dated and fucked too many Christian girls to count.
They all say: "I'm waiting for marriage... I'll only date Christian guys... Etc." But once you get them in the mood, they'll come up with a million excuses. It's easy to break down their defences by saying: "Oh, but the Bible doesn't specifically say anywhere that you can't have sex before marriage," or "You've got try new things sometimes, God will understand" - all whilst fingering their clits through their panties.
If you can get the girl attracted to you, the Bible won't be a problem. If you don't take her virginity, some other asshole will. Christians are never innocent.
OP sounds like he wants a relationship, not just sex. If it were about sex, you're right. Religion is probably not that big a deal. But when you're trying to actually, you know, connect with someone on a personal level (not just get you dick wet, not that there's anything wrong with just trying to get your dick wet, so long as everyone's on the same page), religion does become an issue. Even if he could convince her to change...I'm not certain that someone that spontaneously decides to change a deeply-held conviction to please someone else is really worth the effort. That sort of weak-willed people-pleasing will probably cause more problems than it solves.
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Religion can be an important point for people so if you two have different views on it then it can be a big hassle. She obviously wants someone who holds views closer to her own when it comes to a mate but if you simply don't feel the same way on an important issue (religion) then you shouldn't do it. At least she is upfront about it instead of dating for a while then bringing this up.
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On August 01 2011 15:46 H2OSno wrote: So basically, I believe in God, and I think that should be enough for most christian girls, but she's really adamant about this. I think that she should back down and compromise her (in my opinion unfounded and close-minded) belief, at least until we actually GO OUT, and if we get really serious, I believe I would change for her.
Advice?
Be careful you don't start a "me versus God" argument because you'll probably lose.
There's really no poll necessary; ask her for a shot as you are. If she refuses then move on. Do NOT try to get her to compromise her beliefs. She, in turn, shouldn't expect you to compromise yours. If something like that were to ever happen, it must be the individual's decision, not the decision of those close to them.
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Religion is one of few things you should not compromise. Period.
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On August 01 2011 23:17 Slaughter wrote: Religion can be an "important point" for people because their parents told them so so if you two have different views on it then it can be a big hassle. She obviously wants someone who holds views closer to her own when it comes to a mate but if you simply don't feel the same way on an important issue (religion) then you shouldn't do it. At least she is upfront about it instead of dating for a while then bringing this up.
How old this is girl anyway?
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just drop it... very quick
too me, being an atheist, the thought of dating someone who believes in god is just not gonna happen. But then the thought of changing my views... not gonna happen either.
Dont fake who you are or what you believe, ANY good relationship is built upon that.
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I'd like to know your ages and her religion, not that it would make a difference in my response - just curious.
There are many varieties of Christianity - all having the same premise, but with different dictates. Relationships are difficult without starting off with differences. Even though you say you'd change, it would take more than her wanting you to change for you to do so in your heart.
You'd be starting off on the wrong foot, especially if she's a die-hard Christian. Whilst it's ultimately your decision, my advice would be to find someone who shares the same beliefs as you.
However, there are couples of different race, religion, political beliefs, etc. who have had long-lasting relationships. They've managed to weather the storm. Just know there will be a storm if a relationship between the two of you develops. Not at first, but when the "love" chemical diminishes.
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By asking this on TL, or the internet in fact, you will get responses that say drop her immediately.
Edit: That being said, the MAIN point is that you probably shouldn't continue this attempt at a relationship if you yourself are calling her beliefs "unfounded and close-minded".
Now I'm NOT disputing this, but you CLEARLY do not want to be converted and are content with your current belief structure. There is no way in which this relationship could ever work if she is a hardcore Christian because you two will have fundamentally different beliefs (and religion is something that you shouldn't try to "comprise" on, it'll always come back to bite you).
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Look, at the end of the day... Women love dominant men. You need to put her in her place. She doesn't actually want you to please her by changing yourself for her. Chicks hate that. They can't stand guys that agree with them for the sake of appeasing them - despite claiming so to the contrary. It's kind of like how they watch chick-flix and complain that more guys aren't nice like Hugh Grant - of course solid, testable and empirical evidence shows that nice guys finish last.
So the solution? Tell her to shut the fuck up, that religion is a load of bullshit, and if she tries to argue shoot her the fuck down. Say to her: "If your God is real, tell Him to come at me baby!" Then get out a Bible and piss on it. OK maybe not the last part. But you need to be firm and strong.
This will turn her on immensely. Girls love assholes who aren't afraid to offend.
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"...I became more Christian"
I read this far. Dump her now.
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Religious nutcases cannot think for themselves. Move on, or at least try to get the pussy and move on. Irrational people will certainly bring their special brand of instability into your life if you allow them.
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Yeah I'd say back off this one. If she's going to force you to change who you are then that isn't a healthy relationship. From my point of view a relationship should be accepting that other person for who they are. You can't pick and choose what you like and don't like about a person. So pass this one up.
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Hahaha I loved all the responses. Thanks for the help!
@Endymion: She's definitely hot enough.
@Emporio: She's as sane a christian as I ever have come across. I have questioned her about her beliefs and she acknowledges that it's mainly faith, and she accepts that.
@Krndandaman: Uhh, I believe in God, and some of the historical context of the bible. But I am not sure if I can ever honestly believe in the God portrayed in the christian bible.
@h3r1n6: One of them "ists"
@bovi: Honestly, if I found a girl that I truly wanted to be with, I wouldn't give a damn sacrificing a superficial thing like belief system to be truly happy.
@beberly: My mom's some kind of christian, and my dads Jewish, my uncle (who I have a lot of contact with) is atheist, and my best friend's family is Islamic. I am close to 2 Hindu's. I honestly won't care what I raise my kids as, as long as they get a healthy look at everything.
Thanks for the responses everybody!
Thanks for the 1.67 stars on the blog. /foreveralone
EDIT: Oh, and I just want to clarify to everyone, I didn't mean the "Unfounded and close-minded beliefs" as harshly as that came out. I simply meant that if I can accept her and her religious beliefs without a care, that I wish she could do that same for me.
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konadora
Singapore66060 Posts
she will not care after you become more "serious"
happened to one of my two best friends. sigh.
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just play it cool, don't change ur values and beliefs, but don't back away from her completely. Just keep it open
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If you start giving in to her demands (whatever they are) she'll demand more on you - making you more tired and weary. You already said you're flexible and you can accept that there is a God. You can accept her beliefs and the way she is. Why can't she accept your beliefs and the way you are? Dating a control freak is something I'd always advise against.
Ask if she can loosen up for you, and if she can't do that, move on.
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