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Weed really isn't that bad for you. The important thing in my opinion, is that your girlfriend doesn't become absorbed in smoking and drinking and/or she doesn't become defined by them. If it is done recreationally, its not that big of a deal. But if you have a problem with it then there is a problem in the relationship, and you guys should try and come to some sort of compromise.
Should I be offended? Nope Should I consider it an issue? Thats really up for you to decide. In most cases I would say no, unless she is really defined by these things. Should I dump her? No, talk it out if you have problems. If she is unwilling to compromise than that says something about her. If you are unwilling to compromise than that says something about yourself. Should I ignore it? No Should I tell her to stop? If it is a problem for you, then probably yes. Or at least have her tone it down to a reasonable level. ie if its some special occasion or w/e Other? If you continue the relationship, it should not be something she does behind your back. You have to be open with it.
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On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche
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On November 15 2011 13:21 FortyOzs wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche
Not to derail the topic, but I think it's a decent rule of thumb, generally speaking.
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On November 15 2011 13:37 FabledIntegral wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 13:21 FortyOzs wrote:On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche Not to derail the topic, but I think it's a decent rule of thumb, generally speaking. I think it depends on how religious the girl is. I don't think there's anything wrong with believing in some sort of creator (I don't personally, but I won't look down on someone who does), but if a girl is a religious zealot... yeah, not dating that ever.
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On November 15 2011 13:37 FabledIntegral wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 13:21 FortyOzs wrote:On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche Not to derail the topic, but I think it's a decent rule of thumb, generally speaking.
Generally speaking, if someone is religious, they lack critical thinking in certain areas - you have to be able to suspend logic and reason to a degree to even be capable of believing in the supernatural, so those that do obviously lack some ability to think for themselves in that regard and thus I don't want anything to do with them if I can help it.
Perhaps they are more intelligent than me in other areas, but if they are dumb enough to believe in religion/the supernatural, they are too dumb for me to bother talking to.
you don't have to like it.
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On November 15 2011 13:47 Dhalphir wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 13:37 FabledIntegral wrote:On November 15 2011 13:21 FortyOzs wrote:On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche Not to derail the topic, but I think it's a decent rule of thumb, generally speaking. Generally speaking, if someone is religious, they lack critical thinking in certain areas - you have to be able to suspend logic and reason to a degree to even be capable of believing in the supernatural, so those that do obviously lack some ability to think for themselves in that regard and thus I don't want anything to do with them if I can help it. Perhaps they are more intelligent than me in other areas, but if they are dumb enough to believe in religion/the supernatural, they are too dumb for me to bother talking to. you don't have to like it. it's funny because you mention critical thinking, and yet, you are exhibiting the exact opposite of critical thinking with your attitude. you're basically saying "I don't want to associate with any religious person because religion is stupid and any religious person can't possibly be worth associating with." black and white thinking like that is the enemy of thinking critically.
just saying.
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On November 15 2011 13:51 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 13:47 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 13:37 FabledIntegral wrote:On November 15 2011 13:21 FortyOzs wrote:On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche Not to derail the topic, but I think it's a decent rule of thumb, generally speaking. Generally speaking, if someone is religious, they lack critical thinking in certain areas - you have to be able to suspend logic and reason to a degree to even be capable of believing in the supernatural, so those that do obviously lack some ability to think for themselves in that regard and thus I don't want anything to do with them if I can help it. Perhaps they are more intelligent than me in other areas, but if they are dumb enough to believe in religion/the supernatural, they are too dumb for me to bother talking to. you don't have to like it. it's funny because you mention critical thinking, and yet, you are exhibiting the exact opposite of critical thinking with your attitude. you're basically saying "I don't want to associate with any religious person because religion is stupid and any religious person can't possibly be worth associating with." black and white thinking like that is the enemy of thinking critically. just saying.
I dont know, I wouldnt feel like i'd have much to talk about with a girl that believes in an omnipotent flying spaghetti monster. And I dont see how that's any less logical than believing in any other kind of omnipotent omniscient controlling being that requires attendance.
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On November 15 2011 13:55 TheAntZ wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 13:51 iamahydralisk wrote:On November 15 2011 13:47 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 13:37 FabledIntegral wrote:On November 15 2011 13:21 FortyOzs wrote:On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche Not to derail the topic, but I think it's a decent rule of thumb, generally speaking. Generally speaking, if someone is religious, they lack critical thinking in certain areas - you have to be able to suspend logic and reason to a degree to even be capable of believing in the supernatural, so those that do obviously lack some ability to think for themselves in that regard and thus I don't want anything to do with them if I can help it. Perhaps they are more intelligent than me in other areas, but if they are dumb enough to believe in religion/the supernatural, they are too dumb for me to bother talking to. you don't have to like it. it's funny because you mention critical thinking, and yet, you are exhibiting the exact opposite of critical thinking with your attitude. you're basically saying "I don't want to associate with any religious person because religion is stupid and any religious person can't possibly be worth associating with." black and white thinking like that is the enemy of thinking critically. just saying. I dont know, I wouldnt feel like i'd have much to talk about with a girl that believes in an omnipotent flying spaghetti monster. And I dont see how that's any less logical than believing in any other kind of omnipotent omniscient controlling being that requires attendance. because you can only talk about religion with someone who's religious, right?
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Doesn't the amount matter a lot, does she go bonkers and get completly wasted. Or is it a few glasses of wine in the weekends?
Same with the weed, is it for parties, or is it everyday. If it's not that often, have a blast, and smoke with her lol.
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If it deeply contradicts what you believe for, then yes.
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On November 15 2011 12:20 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote: Try to convince her to stop. It clearly bothers you, so it will come up down the line. Also, it's kinda illegal, risky and it has negative side effects like stupidity.
Ok.......
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Seriously, if you tell her to stop and try to make her change for you, this relationship will never actually work long-term.
There is not much you can do other than -talk to her about it, and your opinions on it, she will either stop for you or not, at least she understands where you are coming from. -Accept the fact she does it, and only bring it up again if she it is actually stopping her from progressing in life. IE if she is getting wasted daily and not doing what needs to be done. -If you cant accept her for who she is, it wont work anyway, bail, stay friends. No point in attempting to create a relationship that wont last because you have different values that are strong enough to interfere with your relationship.
Seriously, dont force her to change, thats the most idiotic and childish reaction you can do. Talk to her, accept her life style and move on. If you cant seem to do that, its not gonna work.
There is really no other advice. My ex smoked cigs for the longest time, i dont smoke cigs at all. She always kept her breath fresh once she was done smoking, i never had a problem with it. She went outside to smoke, i stayed inside and watched some starcraft. No biggie. Things like that shouldn't bother you unless it truly interferes with your every day life. If you cant handle it, no point in trying, it will eventually end over petty morals.
Open relationship is a good relationship. Rather her do it with your knowledge than do it behind your back. Thats for damn sure. She obviously wants you to know, and is open about it. She took the first leap.
Gl.
You can always hang out with her while she smokes with people, you can always chill with stoners it does not mean you have to partake. Its a common misconception that you have to smoke to chill with smokers. No one who smokes pot, and does it because they enjoy it, will force it down your throat. I have denied pot billions of times growing up. All that happens is they go, Cool man, and pass's it to the next person. Then you commence hanging out and playing some video games. No biggie.
And if you dont care about long term, any drugs she takes is a good thing, if you know what i mean ;P. You seem young, kids experiment with shit. Hell sometime in the distant future you will probably smoke pot once or twice. I didnt try it till i was 20. Wasnt missing much, but it is relaxing compared to drinking due to the no painful hangover. Now i do it socially - sometimes.
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Dude....seriously marry the girl. If not send her my way. lol
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On November 15 2011 11:03 Probe1 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 10:27 Talent.L wrote: you guys are a bunch of fucking trolls... it's understandable that her habits are against your values, but i think drinking in particular is so common these days that not alot of ppl consider it a big deal, unless of course she is a crazy drunk who goes rampage when shes not sober.. >You guys are a bunch of trolls >Comment on drinking in a blog about pot Do you see where things went south in your post? Yes, marijuana and alcohol are similar but considering the OP gave us no basis for his objection, only that it was against his values, we must assume it is because smoking pot is illegal and drinking is not. Then again they are both most likely underage! However my point still stands- you called the other posters trolls then responded indirectly with a example of a similar intoxicant. V_V
lolwut i replied with an example and you said similar intoxicant? how is pot and alcohol similar? anyways, seeing how everyone on the first page werent being serious or anything, i wasn't either. So nothing was intended, i was just saying w/e was on my mind.
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i think you should have some beers and smoke a bowl with her. you might even get laid.
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On November 15 2011 13:57 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 13:55 TheAntZ wrote:On November 15 2011 13:51 iamahydralisk wrote:On November 15 2011 13:47 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 13:37 FabledIntegral wrote:On November 15 2011 13:21 FortyOzs wrote:On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche Not to derail the topic, but I think it's a decent rule of thumb, generally speaking. Generally speaking, if someone is religious, they lack critical thinking in certain areas - you have to be able to suspend logic and reason to a degree to even be capable of believing in the supernatural, so those that do obviously lack some ability to think for themselves in that regard and thus I don't want anything to do with them if I can help it. Perhaps they are more intelligent than me in other areas, but if they are dumb enough to believe in religion/the supernatural, they are too dumb for me to bother talking to. you don't have to like it. it's funny because you mention critical thinking, and yet, you are exhibiting the exact opposite of critical thinking with your attitude. you're basically saying "I don't want to associate with any religious person because religion is stupid and any religious person can't possibly be worth associating with." black and white thinking like that is the enemy of thinking critically. just saying. I dont know, I wouldnt feel like i'd have much to talk about with a girl that believes in an omnipotent flying spaghetti monster. And I dont see how that's any less logical than believing in any other kind of omnipotent omniscient controlling being that requires attendance. because you can only talk about religion with someone who's religious, right?
Nope, not exactly, but i wouldnt go out with a girl like that for the same reason that most girls wouldnt go out with a guy like me whos so obsessed with BW and SC2 progaming. Its just a turn-off for some people.
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You said you're both teenagers. She discreetly brought up something that she thought you should know about even though (I'm assuming) she knew it was something you didn't like.
Generally a teenage girl who's good looking, likes to drink, and likes to smoke is going to be bat shit crazy.
This one reeks of maturity and intelligence.
I'd say discuss it with her and attempt to move past it. Everyone comes with issues. If this is the worst of it you've got quite the catch.
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On November 15 2011 13:47 Dhalphir wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 13:37 FabledIntegral wrote:On November 15 2011 13:21 FortyOzs wrote:On November 15 2011 13:12 Dhalphir wrote:On November 15 2011 12:17 intrigue wrote:wrote up a big reply, but this probably sums it up better: girlfriends that smoke pot are awesome. that is a requirement for anybody i'm interested in. edit: not to glorify marijuana, of course. i am simply stating that the capacity to enjoy weed immediately filters for several traits i value highly in close friends: lack of neurosis, a "don't give a fuck" confidence, and enough critical thinking/research skills to see through the anti-"drug" indoctrination we're all put through. edit2: suggested course of action? read about marijuana. even just the wikipedia article should convince you it's simply not that big a deal*. if it doesn't sound appealing, that's enough of a reason to not try it. but if your interest is piqued, what better person to introduce you to trees is there than a cute girl that cares for you? *i must mention that due to your young age it's probably better to err on the side of caution and not use it habitually! for recreation is common at your age and fine. I have a similar thing. If I was to meet someone who is religious, for example, that immediately tells me that a) they lack the capacity for sceptical and rational thinking b) they lack the capacity to question things founded on a lack of evidence c) they are generally less intelligent than I'd like them to be and as such a religious girlfriend would be a dealbreaker for me, because I'd have such little respect. You are a jackass for thinking people who are religious aren't as smart as you. Not saying that I am but let's be honest you and I know people who are religious and much smarter than us. You are just caught up in being a douche Not to derail the topic, but I think it's a decent rule of thumb, generally speaking. Generally speaking, if someone is religious, they lack critical thinking in certain areas - you have to be able to suspend logic and reason to a degree to even be capable of believing in the supernatural, so those that do obviously lack some ability to think for themselves in that regard and thus I don't want anything to do with them if I can help it. Perhaps they are more intelligent than me in other areas, but if they are dumb enough to believe in religion/the supernatural, they are too dumb for me to bother talking to. you don't have to like it.
So... you're just elaborating on what I said was a decent rule of thumb? I was agreeing with you.
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You should do those things with her, at least try it. How can you knock it until you try it? If you don't like them, then whatever. If she likes them though that's her thing, let her have it. Go out with her, just don't do the drugs. I'm sure she doesn't like that you play starcraft and read internet forums.
PS- Also, communication is key. If you are concerned enough about these (arguably minor issues) then you should just tell her. Say something like, "Normally I don't date people that use drugs and alcohol because *reason x*. I really like you though and I just want to know if that bothers you or that I don't like it or just to let you know that it may end up being a cause for concern in the relationship."
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I'd say the issue is your values. There is nothing wrong with smoking a little weed or having some drinks in a social setting.
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