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Suck it up and do hard shit.
Do one thing that scares you every day and go from there. It's not easy but the rewards are big. Human interaction is necessary for a fulfulling life.
I say this because you said you have decided against drugs, which I think I would do in your situation as well and there really is no other way through this.
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honestly i think a major benefit would be to have a positive male role model humans learn by copying each other
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On March 23 2012 07:36 Bigtony wrote: Suck it up and do hard shit.
Do one thing that scares you every day and go from there. It's not easy but the rewards are big. Human interaction is necessary for a fulfulling life.
I say this because you said you have decided against drugs, which I think I would do in your situation as well and there really is no other way through this.
Exposure therapy is incredibly effective for these kinds of things so yes, look that stuff up
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that feel when no friends and don't even talk in games
User was warned for this post
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On March 23 2012 07:32 Stratos wrote: The whole discussion of whether it's "real" disease or whether there's a physiological cause is pretty pointless.
Ultimately, the patient is diagnosed with the disorder if his anxiety is causing him problems in his everyday life => From the definition, there can be various causes - substance abuse, genetics, medical causes, unfortunate childhood, a significant event in life - usually a combination of these.
If the patient has a problem and there are ways to help him, it's a good thing that he's diagnosed. It's not like you get diagnosed with anxiety disorder 73% and bipolar disorder 27% anyway, it's just to get an idea of what the patient is going through and what could make him better.
Does anyone suggest that only those with a known medical cause should be treated? If the person is faking it, it's probably Münchausen and there should be ways to find the patient out and help him. Otherwise, what's there to discuss? Afaik more than 25% (or 50% even? not sure) of people with bipolar disorder commit a suicide. With these data in mind, does anyone hesitate to call that a "real disease"?
I might've worded myself wrongly before.
I'm not trying to say that it's not a real condition that someone is experiencing. I do believe that people are feeling these emotions of fear and anxiety.
What I want more clarity about is how these conditions come about. I don't believe that people get these conditions from nowhere without some kind of experience in their life leading them to that condition.
Maybe the reasons we have these conditions arising in people in recent times is that because in the past, any human that tried to isolate themselves from a group would starve and die off rather quickly.
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That's probably true, but these days it's also harder to get away with battery, so people tend to isolate instead of beating someone to a pulp as we were prone to do in earlier times.
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On March 23 2012 10:25 ruXxar wrote:Show nested quote +On March 23 2012 07:32 Stratos wrote: The whole discussion of whether it's "real" disease or whether there's a physiological cause is pretty pointless.
Ultimately, the patient is diagnosed with the disorder if his anxiety is causing him problems in his everyday life => From the definition, there can be various causes - substance abuse, genetics, medical causes, unfortunate childhood, a significant event in life - usually a combination of these.
If the patient has a problem and there are ways to help him, it's a good thing that he's diagnosed. It's not like you get diagnosed with anxiety disorder 73% and bipolar disorder 27% anyway, it's just to get an idea of what the patient is going through and what could make him better.
Does anyone suggest that only those with a known medical cause should be treated? If the person is faking it, it's probably Münchausen and there should be ways to find the patient out and help him. Otherwise, what's there to discuss? Afaik more than 25% (or 50% even? not sure) of people with bipolar disorder commit a suicide. With these data in mind, does anyone hesitate to call that a "real disease"? I might've worded myself wrongly before. I'm not trying to say that it's not a real condition that someone is experiencing. I do believe that people are feeling these emotions of fear and anxiety. What I want more clarity about is how these conditions come about. I don't believe that people get these conditions from nowhere without some kind of experience in their life leading them to that condition. Maybe the reasons we have these conditions arising in people in recent times is that because in the past, any human that tried to isolate themselves from a group would starve and die off rather quickly. Why do you keep saying "I don't believe ilness is caused by X or Y."? How do you expect anyone to counter that kind of an argument? Just look up some literature on the ilness instead of making these blind claims, there's a lot of info in wikipedia at least to get you started.
For instance bipolar disorder is heritable to some degree at least, so yes, there are genetics involved and even the best of social experiences might not help you overcome it. If you look up Steven Fry's documentary on manic depression (that's what they used to call bipolar disorder before) he tells his story, so you might get a better idea. Note that the anxiety disorder is often seen together with this disease - it might be a byproduct of a certain social experience, caused by the bipolar disorder itself. Is it then just a social experience or is there something more to it in that case? If you're weird to begin with, how do you expect to live a normal social life as a teenager?
You could be right about the social experiences and the current environment having to do with the onset of a lot of these disorders and it's good thinking. But it's bold, to say the least, to claim it's the only factor because you believe so. Also the fact that a certain disorder might come about with a social (in)experience, doesn't necessarily mean it can be fixed like that.
This matter is way too complex to argue about unless you have a deeper understanding of physiology, psychology, the disorder itself and the patient even. The fact that you don't even bother to specify the certain disorder you want to talk about suggests to me that you know very little, as well as I do. Please let us not condescend to forums science based upon our limited observations and assumptions.
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I understand you perfectly and I can relate to you in many ways. The worst thing about this disorder is that you are conciously aware that it is YOU who is building walls around yourself to isolate yourself, and it is you that is making judgmental comments about yourself (she doesn't find me interesting, why would anyone spend time with me I'm a loser, I am afraid of rejection so why bother with actually going along with it... the list just goes on infinitely) The part that causes despair is feeling of hopelesness, that nothing you will ever do will make any positive impact, that you are unable to change this situation.
It is like a parasite that eats you from inside. For two years during the period when I lost about 30 kilos in weight, I felt like the happiest, most successful and self-confident person in the world. However, the year after that many bad events happened in my family life and also I failed a course, got depressed, starting eating more and exercising less which led to me gaining weight, and I still cannot shake this up. It kinda got into a loop that I cannot really shake away. It has got to the point that I'm thinking maybe I'm not born to be socially activate, maybe I'm not really able to form strong relationships. Maybe I am just not equipped to live in the society. I just don't know what to do, I've been contemplating death recently, not suicide because I don't wanna kill myself (I dont even think I can manage that) but if something happened and I died, I don't think at this point I would have any complaints.
This shit makes you envy the people around you, go to places together and enjoy the stuff, and when they invite you, you start to form up excuses to go and enjoy your own solitude, sometimes even the silliest excuses. Every new situation is a complete unknown to you and you know you are going to fail at it no matter what. There are times when you try something new and it works, and this provides a boost of happiness for some time, but the underlying problem is still there, eating at you. When you are actually with people you are dying to talk, you are yearning for an hour long good conversation, but when you're actually in one, you fear saying a stupid thing and be silent.
If there is someone around you who is shy, who doesn't go partying much or join social activities, or looks like he's constantly being bombarded by others' opinions and even among a group of 50 people feel like he's the one standing out as a loser and idiot, please don't just stand by and watch, I don't know what you can do, but just keep that in mind. Maybe one day you can do or suggest something that might help him.
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This stuff is pissing me off lately. I always had this to some degree but lately it has gone worse. Even with exams, daily life, interacting with people i don't know etc. it makes me feel really bad emotionally. Like someone is gonna blame you for something and you won't have an answer, or you have a responsibility but you will screw up and it will look really bad.
I am actually pretty rational person but i understood that this has nothing to do with how you think or what makes sense or not. This stuff is about feelings. You may know some feelings you got doesn't make sense and is not true, but they will still screw you up negatively because believe me it's not easy to stop them on your own. Sometimes when i'm expected to do some work if it's demanding i start shaking and having stomach aches it starts to be impossible to focus on stuff. A few times i felt it so severe that i guess i got in panic attack and couldn't recover for 2 days and always shaked and my heart rate was really high continiously.
I don't know how to fix this really, i haven't seen any doctors about this yet but i've used some anti-depression pills before (not many). I'm think there is no drug cure for this kind of stuff but i might be wrong. What scares me is it's getting worse. I can't even focus on exams i will have because i am afraid of failing too much that it always sticks in my mind. And the knowledge of being it's all because of "you" and can't blame anything else doesn't make it better. At age 23 people arround you expect you to be succesfull, especially your parents and failing at stuff even though you know that you are capable of doing them really sucks way too much.
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Anxiety sucks so bad. I used to take lexapro for it, I just had weird panicky things like I would hate surfing this one summer when there were jellyfish, and they were big and the stings hurt so bad.
It was not knowing that I was going to be stung that made me lose my mind.
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