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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
I don't really feel the text gives any arguments to assign a general "wrong doing" from an outside perspective and judgement therefore comes from the personal interpretation of the events. You can argue that the girl was wrong in pulling through with something she didn't really enjoyed but I assume that’s a different wrong than we are talking about. She is not wrong in doing so, it is just a decision that she shouldn't have made but mostly only affected only her so she is free to do so.
I also have a hard time saying the guy was wrong since with 18 you are already a full adult over here in germany. A 34 year old hitting on a 20 year old isn't to my taste, but it is not inherently wrong. You also only experience his actions through the eyes of the girl and therefore don't get any reliably insight on his motivations. The "PUA negging" bloodwhore called out could just as well been normal banter without any attempt at negging. Its not even certain that he made up the cats. So the only real accusation I can throw at him is calling her a whore, which is wrong, but since he seems hurt and the "break up" happened rather untactful I have a hard time calling him a wrong do-er by the same standards I don't call the girl a wrong do-er. I could probably call him out for buying alcohol for a minor but I know how pretentious it would be for most people since most people get their first drink in a similar manner and are perfectly okay with it then.
In my opinion both just made some regrettable decisions and you can't really assign anyone to the wrong side unless you go in details in a way that would made them both in the wrong (in the extreme sense of the word that got established by trying to hard to assign it). Or you would have to start a wrong-counter and whoever has the most wrongs on his side at the end loses but as I hinted at, most of the supposed wrongs in this story are either mutual or up to interpretation.
In reality this is a fictional story and since I don't connect with it enough and dont feel it has enough substance, I would look at the author and his most likely attempted result, which I cannot really be asked to. In the end I hope this was more about the way people get to know / not know eachother, how we create images of them in our head and fool ourselfes rather than just being another bland story of a victim. Which is why I spoke against bloodwhores negging theory, which I admit would be the most plausible interpretation in a typical victim story, but I feel like at least this story tries to do something else.
EDIT: nvm, the whole nice guy until the end where he texts her "whore" screams current bandwaggon. The dude is propably supposed to be in the wrong here.
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I don’t think the author’s intent matters that much, Robert is probably supposed to be the bad guy, but aside from being awkward and unattractive, his main crime is sending her an insulting text in an emotional mood. Which I honestly can sympathize with, because once in my life I too felt betrayed in a relationship and I sent her a text along the lines of “I hate you and never want to see you again!”, although the morning after I apologized a hundred times over and I had to grovel for like a month.
I find it more interesting just how Robert’s personality and appearance probably dooms him from ever having a fulfilling relationship, even without him necessarily being a bad person. He is just evidently someone that has been sleeping only with prostitutes for so long that he must be reslly awful in bed, for instance.
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Why would sleeping with prostitutes make you bad in bed? If anything they can teach him a thing or two I'd say? Besides I know some people who sleep almost exclusively with prostitutes and they tend to get this kind of detached confidence rather than Robert's awkwardness.
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Neither party in the story seems like a good person to me, though I think many people go about introductory dating motions in distasteful ways, so who am I to say
Personally, I count sleeping with prostitutes as a negative no matter the person, but I'm a prude.
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On December 10 2017 23:05 B.I.G. wrote: Why would sleeping with prostitutes make you bad in bed? If anything they can teach him a thing or two I'd say? Besides I know some people who sleep almost exclusively with prostitutes and they tend to get this kind of detached confidence rather than Robert's awkwardness. Well, I would imagine that a prostitute would indulge his awkward and crude dirty talk, so that he would be less critical about his behavior. I am not an expert though.
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On December 10 2017 23:11 Grumbels wrote:Well, I would imagine that a prostitute would indulge his awkward and crude dirty talk, so that he would be less critical about his behavior. I am not an expert though.
There are women who really dig that kind of dirty talk though.
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I know a few prostitutes. They are quite normal actually. Asked them about it and seems mostly that they'll indulge some fantasies but nothing too weird. Mostly it's just about good ol' sex and company.
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Had my first tinder date just now. I was extremely skeptical about this girl, because she seemed really distant. At first I thought she just wasn't interested, but later I realized that she is just content without being too emotional. It took us like a week to even be on the same page in online chatting. We seemed really incompatible, missed eachothers' dry humor left and right. She's also quite low maintenance, while I like to have some deeper discussions here and there.
So, a ton of signs rubbed me the wrong way with her, but at the same time, on the rare occasions we hit it off, it was quite fun. It seemed rather obvious that it would be a fling at best. She likes her free space and independence; also, we live apart.
Due to problems in our communication, I tried to force some answer out of her. Like does she even want to meet (we had a date in mind, but the day before she said she'd rather not come, because she's already tired, and she doesn't want to be tired in the morning when she drives to work), or what the hell are we even doing. I felt some (bad) tension between us, so I wanted to clear it up if she hates my guts or no.
She gave me a rather honest answer of me dancing on the line between annoying and fun/entertaining. I was like wow!
She was rather careless about many things, including setting a date finally, but eventually it happened. A part of me hoped she'd just make another bs excuse of why she cant come, so I can cut her off.
We met in the afternoon, she was quite pretty but I tried to stay focused. We walked around a bit, because every place was full, and she seemed nice. I could be a bit silly around her and thats already a win.
Eventually we found a place, and could talk face to face. I enjoyed her company, though she didn't ask anything about me. To be fair, I was bombarding her with questions. Once again, she seemed to be taking the meaner side of jokes as well, and she seemed happy overall.
I can not describe or chemistry, because that one always seemed off from the start. I felt like we like one anothers' company, but nothing like "omg shes my soul mateeeee". We are very different, but as I said, I found her endearing, and she was into my sillyness.
Time was running out, and she said she had a great time, still does. I was like fuck, what to do. Meet again maybe?? She said we can only arrange it by the end of January. Oookay. Thats... a long time, and I knew my insecurities would eat me up by then.
So I asked her if i am friendzoned or not - not literally like this, chill out. She gave a conflicting answer that it is to be seen. ???????? No way, what to do NOW??? I can't just wait until January on a maybe.
I had some girls complaining that I am not assertive enough, like not showing that I want them or sth. Which is completely bonkers to me, as I like to keep my first dates solid. Yes, when we are out for like 5-6 hours, had many drinks and she even accompanies me to my train, I go for a kiss. But otherwise, theres always a second date if she enjoyed herself, right?
So, we went to her car, she even offered me that we can sit in it, but I was way too big of a doomsday planner at that point. I knew we had like 10 minutes left and I kinda need to kiss her. I go for it. She thought I want to kiss her cheeks, so it ended up terribly. Okay, I had a similar experience before, let's repeat. Again, awkward ending. Okay, she clearly wanted to avoid it, so let's just take the defeat. She said something about her hair.... I can't even type this out to strangers man, we tried this cold approach kissing so many times there, I had no idea if we are just extremely clunky and awkward, or if I'm being some kind of sexual predator. In hindsight.... I still don't know, lol. Like... when I said something - after all of this - that implied that we won't meet January - I don't think I actually wanted to say it, I was just confused as fuck -, she seemed to be angry at me, for implying that I don't want to meet her again. Which, once again, I never meant to say, but I was even more confused that she reacted like that after that kiss fiasco.
Honestly, if I had a healthy dating life, I might've ditched her weeks ago, and even this date sounds a tad bit bittersweet. It's quite a letdown, when it genuenly feels that both of us are entertained and both of us are enjyoing ourselves - there's not a great many more things as pleasant as making a girl genuenly smile -, yet it ends with some rather mixed signals, which usually means the worst. It's easy to understand that girls above my height don't even want to talk with me; sure, sucks, but oh well, what's the point of dwelling about it. But if I can give myself on a date, it goes well, but apparently I'm still missing something... yeah, don't know what to make of it.
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You know you're in a for a treat when volband posts about his date :D!
I don't know what to make of this. It was kind all over the place. Why can't you just ask her out in late January around when she was available and keep your options open? No need to stress that she doesn't love you after one date.
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Turned out a bit shaky, but started typing it out on mobile. Meanwhile, we talked and got some updates:
- The kiss was awkward on her part because she was self-conscious of her dry lips. Needless to say, I wasn't aware of these issues; I saw her lipstick her mouth once, but every girl does it, so... yeah im oblivious to this stuff. - "You're a fun guy, I enjoyed myself and it's been a while I laughed so much."
Awww, yeaaaaaah!!!! Right? Well...
- She opened up about her past and only relationship a bit more and how she struggles with commitment.
- When I asked her about where we go now, 2nd date and stuff, I expected a few possible answers: 1. let's be friends, I don't find you hot 2. Let's meet up again in January (FwB) 3. Let's meet up again in January (possible relationship thingy). As an answer, she started talking about the importance of common stuff to do, like doing sports together, or how she'd like to travel somewhere for a few month in like 2 years time and that the other person should be compatible. It left a sour taste in my mouth, and before you judge me, read it through. Yes, I completely understand if things like those are important for you. Once i was dumped after a few hours of conversation when I told the girl I have no car. She was like "I WON'T DRIVE YOU EVERYWHERE LIKE I DID WITH MY EX!!! NU-UH!!!" and I was like bitch, we live in the same town, I've been walking everywhere for 20 years the fuck is your problem. But you know what? She had every right to have whatever standards she wanted to have. If it's owning a car, then so it is. If it is traveling, dancing and doing sports together for this current girl, then so it is. But we've just met today, she said she had a great time, and now I get like an intro survey for a relationship?! I told her it's quite humiliating and not sure what she expects. Am I supposed to say that I'm willing to this and that, but not that other thing, and boom, I'm in her panties, or what? It came off as extremely shallow. She told me an example of her ex leaving her with her friends because he rather played video games at home, or him nagging her at a wedding that he wanted to go home... all right, I get it, it must've sucked, but what does she expect from me? That I will give her the "IM NOT THAT KIND OF GUY HONEY!!" - sure, I wouldn't do those things, but I have my own flaws which I can't even foresee in a relationship, so what's the point?
I told her that I kinda see where she is coming from, but for me, aside from physical attractiveness, the only thing I care about is whether I can have fun with the other one or not.
This is the reason I wasn't even sure what to think of her. Again, we are not completely incompatible and who knows, maybe we'd be heads over heels if she could open herself up more, but man, sometimes she seems cold as ice. I don't hate her, I don't love her, and I'm too afraid to just fuck her. I'm just going along with the flow and have no idea what am I even realistically expecting.
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I think you will find, Volband, that in many of the situations where you are in the process of getting romantically involved with a lady, you will hit the "what I don't want" wall. Might be at the first date, might be at the 10th but sooner or later she will throw concerns at you about why it might not work between you two.
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On December 02 2017 08:08 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On November 30 2017 21:40 SCC-Faust wrote: I'm getting a hair cut and new threads today. I also shaved my neckbeard. Still have tons of acne and am unfortunately an ugly spot on mankind's gene pool, but I did push myself up from a 1.5/10 to maybe a 3/10. This is boosting my self confidence. I've noticed that someone with my looks doesn't fair well on dating sites or apps. I swiped right on tinder for a solid 30 and only got guys matching me. Is there an "ugly" dating app? Or should I attend furcons and anime conventions to meet ladies? Do an activity where you can meet girls but demonstrate your fitness... Eg if you're good at skiing organize a ski trip, if you're good at singing do a karaoke night... It doesn't even matter, the main thing that matters when meeting women is places or events with favourable women:men ratio simply so that you can get exposed to women without having to compete and without much effort . Some sociologists in the area even recommend picking universities and jobs based on thatsettlew
I was actually thinking about it , after thinking of. Corey Wayne the coach on YouTube. And I think he's a victim of his own success... His advice is spot on, allowed him to get and keep almost any woman with just an okay attraction level But he never settledand has a string of monogamous relationahips .
What he's doing wrong is that I think you as a man looking for a permanent partner are supposed to fuck up, make huge mistakes that repel women and do things that turn them off. The reason is that attraction is never absolute, it almost doesn't matter how you look like because what really does is the chemicals released in your brain when you interact with a person that get released along with upbringing etc. and other factors .
And when looking for someone for the long run it's actually great to screw up, repel tons of women and take your time alone because if you keep trying and put your honest real self out there exposed to women sooner or later you will find a compatibility level so high almost none of that will matter
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Why the fuck is dating so difficult? Why can’t it be simple? “Here bitch, have some perfectly round pebbles. We good now? Awesome.”. Or even better, why can’t it be even simpler. “Damn you brought me some perfectly round pebbles? Of course we are good now girl.” Except it almost is, as long as all you need are some pebbles.
In case you haven’t noticed, this will just be another rant. I am frustrated with dating, or more so with myself when it comes to dating. I feel like I am utterly incompatible with the dating scene I am more and more sliding into. It seems I am completely unable to feel much excited about anyone that I haven’t been around for some time beforehand. Depending on the person and how much it can take less long. It is somewhat similar when it comes to friends but as far as I am concerned it’s not really a problem there.
What do I mean by this: I could be wrong, but I am certain I never really had any attraction for someone that I haven’t been around for some time, the fastest I ever started dating someone was after being around them for like 3 month and that was someone I spend a big part of multiple times a week with. Usually it takes a lot longer. At first I used to not really mind it. There was even a phase where I even felt quite good about it. It got a slight white knight touch of “I am just interested in M’Ladys character” which I liked for some time. Occasionally it made me feel a bit weird but overall it was ok.
It also made feeling strongly about someone very valuable to me, I feel like I would have approached things less seriously if I couldn’t be sure that my feelings were at least to a certain extend serious. It also shaped my views on relationships and my own responsibility when it comes to them in a way that I appreciate for the most part.
The downside of it is that I feel like it is much harder to get with someone. It’s either me getting chased by someone that got the determination and patience to stick around until I finally get started or someone that’s around me naturally and things develop mutually. Everything else seemingly just won’t happen since I either never spark up some interest or they lose theirs.
It took me some time to understand this about me. A bit over year ago or so I voiced my frustration with how men are seemingly required to do all the active stuff when it comes to dating. Back then I didn’t understand that this wasn’t really my problem and that I was frustrated with my inability to just fall for someone or at least be interested. I thought I was just lacking some initiation back then and I guess it was just the more obvious explanation. I still agree with the general gist to some extent, but I realize now that it wasn’t relevant.
The more I drift towards the regular full time work life, the more I feel that I am incompatible with the general dating scene. The older you get the more the groups of people around you stagnate. Even friendships take time that is harder to get by and I therefore feel like my chances of being around someone long enough decrease while at the same time the pool of people varies less. I also feel like that dating in general has become much faster or maybe it has always been. I have a hard time seeing someone having a crush over me for multiple month and not getting anything back that’s above friendship, before she just simply loses interest or forces herself to snap out of it. It just seems like a serious commitment of time that gets less and less justifiable. And to further distance me from blaming others for my lack of success, I totally understand that I can’t expect someone to stick around for me for an extended amount of time. I also have the feeling that longing for someone over multiple month is something that doesn’t exist that much outside of movies after a certain age, but I could be wrong. At least I hope so. And even then the whole gambling on it being mutual starts which I would much rather not think about.
It also means that it is somewhat costly for me in terms of time, even under ideal conditions, there are only so much people I can feel about strong enough in one year so I feel like the whole dating as a numbers game works a bit against me, which might have made me a bit anxious. Because of this I try to avoid thinking much about the consequences and to focus more on the situation as it is and how to approach it. I can’t deny that it drags me down quite a bit sometimes.
I kind of lost it here, I had a bit more on my mind but after all this is still a rant so I just leave the whole frustration part there. I already spend a lot of thought on it and wrote down a bunch with the intention to make a blog post or something but somehow lost motivation. I realized that there isn’t really anyone in my circle of close friends that can relate so I thought about increasing my reach, maybe I will come around to it at some point. Until then this is propably my first step. Its also good to follow up Volband, keeps the thread a bit unusual .
I could end it up with that I already tried to fix it, but it didn’t really work. By now I am almost certain that casual dating and sex isn’t really something that works for me / that I desire, so just approaching random women doesn’t really work for me(Trust me on this one LemOn ). At least it made me a bit less unsure about my market value so it wasn’t for nothing.
If someone who can relate to this reads this it would be nice to get a response, PM is fine too. I am really a bit lost on how to approach this since I feel like it is very unusual behavior.
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You're one of those guys that'll stumble upon someone you want to fight for. It can happen from the most unexpected angles. It doesn't matter not wanting/being able to casually date. Just don't set unrealistic outcomes for yourself.
Edit: I'm not outgoing in the slightest when it comes to meeting new people, let alone meeting new women. So I'm quite ok being single, however, I almost have a gf for 2 years now and I've met her when I didn't care to really look for women.
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United States15275 Posts
On December 13 2017 09:53 waffelz wrote: Why the fuck is dating so difficult? Why can’t it be simple? “Here bitch, have some perfectly round pebbles. We good now? Awesome.”. Or even better, why can’t it be even simpler. “Damn you brought me some perfectly round pebbles? Of course we are good now girl.” Except it almost is, as long as all you need are some pebbles.
Well...technically we could get into the sociological and economic factors behind it. But intuition says you'd probably doze off before I get into the consequences of urbanization and the rampant validation enabled by social media.
On December 13 2017 09:53 waffelz wrote: In case you haven’t noticed, this will just be another rant. I am frustrated with dating, or more so with myself when it comes to dating. I feel like I am utterly incompatible with the dating scene I am more and more sliding into. It seems I am completely unable to feel much excited about anyone that I haven’t been around for some time beforehand. Depending on the person and how much it can take less long. It is somewhat similar when it comes to friends but as far as I am concerned it’s not really a problem there.
It's paramount to establish which dating scene you're talking about here. If you're bemoaning the casual hookup culture of Tinder and its ilk, there's good news: a lot of guys share the same sentiment. The better news is that there are other, structured ways to meet girls without feeling like you're tossing your hook in the ocean.
On December 13 2017 09:53 waffelz wrote: What do I mean by this? I could be wrong, but I am certain I never really had any attraction for someone that I haven’t been around for some time, the fastest I ever started dating someone was after being around them for like 3 month and that was someone I spend a big part of multiple times a week with. Usually it takes a lot longer. At first I used to not really mind it. There was even a phase where I even felt quite good about it. It got a slight white knight touch of “I am just interested in M’Ladys character” which I liked for some time. Occasionally it made me feel a bit weird but overall it was ok.
The ambivalence is seeping through in your words so I don't see any reason to doubt you. The main point to focus on, which may clear up things personally, is what you mean by attraction. Ordinary men finds sexual attraction to be instant or absent: it never develops over time and it is rarely impacted by surrounding context. Hints here and there suggest you mean something quite different. It sounds like you're describing infatuation or whatever mixture of affection and desire stands as your prerequisite for dating someone.
On December 13 2017 09:53 waffelz wrote: It also made feeling strongly about someone very valuable to me, I feel like I would have approached things less seriously if I couldn’t be sure that my feelings were at least to a certain extend serious. It also shaped my views on relationships and my own responsibility when it comes to them in a way that I appreciate for the most part.
The downside of it is that I feel like it is much harder to get with someone. It’s either me getting chased by someone that got the determination and patience to stick around until I finally get started or someone that’s around me naturally and things develop mutually. Everything else seemingly just won’t happen since I either never spark up some interest or they lose theirs.
One could write reams about the wording of the first paragraph. Suffice to say, my alarm bells go off when someone elevates the feeling of a connection over the connection itself. They ring even louder when it is followed up by vindication of the past.
On December 13 2017 09:53 waffelz wrote: It took me some time to understand this about myself. A bit over a year ago or so I voiced my frustration with how men are seemingly required to do all the active stuff when it comes to dating. Back then I didn’t understand that this wasn’t really my problem and that I was frustrated with my inability to just fall for someone or at least be interested. I thought I was just lacking some initiation back then and I guess it was just the more obvious explanation. I still agree with the general gist to some extent, but I realize now that it wasn’t relevant.
Well passivity sounds like a symptom of something greater. I wouldn't mark it off as personal preference since it's clear you're not comfortable with it.
On December 13 2017 09:53 waffelz wrote: The more I drift towards the regular full time work life, the more I feel that I am incompatible with the general dating scene. The older you get the more the groups of people around you stagnate. Even friendships take time that is harder to get by and I therefore feel like my chances of being around someone long enough decrease while at the same time the pool of people varies less. I also feel like that dating in general has become much faster or maybe it has always been. I have a hard time seeing someone having a crush over me for multiple month and not getting anything back that’s above friendship, before she just simply loses interest or forces herself to snap out of it. It just seems like a serious commitment of time that gets less and less justifiable. And to further distance me from blaming others for my lack of success, I totally understand that I can’t expect someone to stick around for me for an extended amount of time. I also have the feeling that longing for someone over multiple month is something that doesn’t exist that much outside of movies after a certain age, but I could be wrong. At least I hope so. And even then the whole gambling on it being mutual starts which I would much rather not think about.
I wouldn't say dating has become much faster as much as dating has become more nebulous. You can hook up with a girl tonight, 'Netflix and chill' over the next few months, and still deny being a thing. Meanwhile she might make out briefly with a stranger and mistakenly believe she shares a connection with him. Everyone isn't on the same page regarding the parameters of modern dating.
On December 13 2017 09:53 waffelz wrote: It also means that it is somewhat costly for me in terms of time, even under ideal conditions, there are only so much people I can feel about strong enough in one year so I feel like the whole dating as a numbers game works a bit against me, which might have made me a bit anxious. Because of this I try to avoid thinking much about the consequences and to focus more on the situation as it is and how to approach it. I can’t deny that it drags me down quite a bit sometimes.
You may want to think about dating as the most straightforward way to determine whether an initial interest will develop into something more, instead of the culmination of romantic recognition between two parties. Basically you're setting yourself up so that you either have all the foundation secured prior to dating or nothing happens whatsoever. This is just avoiding any possibility of risk.
On December 13 2017 09:53 waffelz wrote:I could end it up with that I already tried to fix it, but it didn’t really work. By now I am almost certain that casual dating and sex isn’t really something that works for me / that I desire, so just approaching random women doesn’t really work for me(Trust me on this one LemOn ). At least it made me a bit less unsure about my market value so it wasn’t for nothing. If someone who can relate to this reads this it would be nice to get a response, PM is fine too. I am really a bit lost on how to approach this since I feel like it is very unusual behavior.
You'll get little return if you're trying to "fix" the wrong aspect. Casual dating and sex may not be appealing to you, but there's nothing stating that what you desire is justified in the first place. Bluntly, you've spent the vast majority of this post rationalizing your inability to move on from the topic; either you want a certain amount of resistance or you're hoping this is put to bed.
My initial suspicion is that this is more than being out of sync with the current norms of dating, but I don't have much to go on beyond hunches.
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Would you say you'd enjoy a dominant woman Waffelz, who takes interest in you and takes care of the the initial steps in the first few weeks actively until you get used to her, develop feelings and start reciprocating/chasing her yourself?
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@CosmicSpiral: I am going to respond to you later/tomorrow since your post is a bit more difficult to address in an appropriate way and deserves some deeper thought.
On December 13 2017 18:23 LemOn wrote: Would you say you'd enjoy a dominant woman Waffelz, who takes interest in you and takes care of the the initial steps in the first few weeks actively until you get used to her, develop feelings and start reciprocating/chasing her yourself?
Well of course, it takes some pressure of me and I find getting chased by someone quite flattering, especially when it happens without me doing the first step. Besides that I don’t really have a preference though, but I also only had one relationship so far where the women was the driving force for the most part. Generally it was either me doing the most of it or it was some mixed form where I still did the majority but not by a large margin. Being the driving force by a large margin is the only thing that comes slightly short. While the feeling of winning someone over has some charm, I find an even(-ish) split of efforts more rewarding and appreciatory. The only thing I don’t like is when someone plays hard to get, that’s like putting in less than zero effort.
My problem isn’t really a question of a few weeks though, but rather as I described a few month during which it’s almost irrelevant if the women does anything at all since I might not even notice it for the most part. Depending how I get chased it can get her the “interesting person” status a bit quicker since I am generally curious when it comes to people that notably break with the usual. At the point where I would describe her as an interesting acquaintance things can start to approach normal procedure. Her being more active during that phase can make me warm up a bit faster, but only to a certain extend it seems.
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You have to know which women are actually good for you or is it "an easy fuck" Trust me i have had many option B's and sure its great to have a great looking gal you can sleep with all the time... but when you get past college there are more things that matter.
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There are a few women I'm interested in but haven't really made a move for variety of reasons. One of them is a friend I've known for a year now and she recently got out of a relationship but she is still very much attached to her ex. When would be a good time for me to make a move? How should I make this move? I haven't really dated much despite turning 26 next month so I'm not confident AT ALL when it comes to dating, having sex, and everything that comes along.
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Haha geokilla you vulture. Any time is a good time because she needs to get over that shit. Might consider she won't be interested in anything serious for now though.
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