Parenting youtube clip - Page 17
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FeUerFlieGe
United States1193 Posts
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leser
Croatia239 Posts
On February 12 2012 00:04 micronesia wrote: I'm not going to say the guy in the video did everything right... but how would you have not 'failed to teach her some basic responsibilities'? What would be your methodology to teach her not to be like this, and how would it be better than what he has done (at least until this video). positive reinforcement, instead of buying her laptops/cameras/phones and then destroying shit when you flip out because she hurt your feelings because she is a whiny teenager? Don't make the chores be done because of the chores or because someone says so, but because you will reward her in the end? This kind of approach goes much further and you can teach kids the very easy causal relationship between work->reward that many kids just don't get because they get everything served on a pladder? there are many things he could have done better as a parent, as is apparent from this video. | ||
Tnerb
United States141 Posts
Btw I think he was totally justified and this was a great way of getting his point across. | ||
KalWarkov
Germany4126 Posts
hes more of a child then his daughter. he shouldve thought about what it means to be a father before becoming one. obviously what the child did was wrong, but thats what most childs do everyday. And to be honest, im not sure who i believe more: a) the girl who wrote a letter b) the guy who shoots bullets on a laptop (texas???). And btw: even without destroying the laptop, my view on things would be the same... just doing such a video in public is like doing exactly what the daughter did, just 3 times worse. burning someone alive because he killed someone he probably even had reasons for? texas logic applies! when i see this, im just glad i have the parents i have and not such an ... of a father. This guy feels like he lives 100 years too late. | ||
KryptoStorm
England377 Posts
On February 12 2012 01:06 Tnerb wrote: I never realized just how scared europeans are of guns. I think that many responses in this thread would be totally different if the dad had just used a sledgehammer instead of a gun. Btw I think he was totally justified and this was a great way of getting his point across. Hahahahaahaha, Yes we're very scared of guns, silly us being scared of a lethal weapon which can kill multiple people within seconds. | ||
Caloooomi
Scotland188 Posts
Wasn't expecting him to take out a gun and start shooting the laptop, but hey, if it gets the point across. | ||
zalz
Netherlands3704 Posts
On February 12 2012 01:06 Tnerb wrote: I never realized just how scared europeans are of guns. I think that many responses in this thread would be totally different if the dad had just used a sledgehammer instead of a gun. Btw I think he was totally justified and this was a great way of getting his point across. I wish he had used a sledgehammer or a baseball bat. Had he used that, people would be reacting entirely differently because then you would see him for what he was. An adult throwing a tantrum. Now he has a gun and he can destroy it without any effort. | ||
CakeSauc3
United States1437 Posts
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leser
Croatia239 Posts
On February 12 2012 00:04 Chaosvuistje wrote: That's her responsibility isn't it? If she wants to be even more stuck up and disrespectful, that's fine, but from that point on she won't get off for free like she appearantly has been for quite a long time. For the action she did she deserves the laptop to be shot. Everybody needs to vent, parents and children alike. But putting it on facebook as a way to get recognition and fame for it while antagonizing your parents to the world? Even the sheer audacity to blocking messages to your parents on a social network, while you KNOW that your dad is working in IT, of all the industries, shows some pretty bad cognitive skills. and doing the exact same thing as a father gets what point across? Is it right because he did it, or wrong because he said it? Do actions speak louder than words? | ||
KalWarkov
Germany4126 Posts
On February 11 2012 12:28 Shiragaku wrote: Well I personally believe teenagers should learn to question their parents authority at times which all of my peers agree, but they seem to abuse it too fucking much. If you are going to rebel, at least learn to sustain yourself. Teenagers forget how much their parents provide in their life. its the parents responsibility to provide some things for their children. its THEM who decided to get a child, you didnt decide to be born. You are not their slaves. obviously, this doesnt fit into this context here, because the daughter is obviously silly and does stuff most childs have to do anyway because this is how society works and how it should be to some extend. But its just my overall view on things - ppl who say children have a dept to pay for their parents because they raised you are simply wrong. if they did a good job on it and you love each other, thats the case. If they treated you like a douche, do the same to them. Just the fact them being your parents doesnt satisfy any responsibility from a childs point of view. On the other hand, the parents HAVE a responsibilty no matter what at least till you are adult. sry for my so-so english, i might express some things i want to say a bit strange. | ||
micronesia
United States24343 Posts
On February 12 2012 01:05 leser wrote: positive reinforcement, instead of buying her laptops/cameras/phones and then destroying shit when you flip out because she hurt your feelings because she is a whiny teenager? Don't make the chores be done because of the chores or because someone says so, but because you will reward her in the end? This kind of approach goes much further and you can teach kids the very easy causal relationship between work->reward that many kids just don't get because they get everything served on a pladder? there are many things he could have done better as a parent, as is apparent from this video. It sounds like you feel he shouldn't have gotten her the laptop, phone, ipod, etc unless she was already being a very good girl. If she wasn't, he could explain that she can has them once she does her chores regularly and doesn't do forbidden things online, or whatever. There is definitely logic to this. However, if she still persisted to be like this (doing the wrong things, complaining about chores, etc) despite the motivation to be a good daughter (and get a laptop, phone, ipod, etc) the dad would have to withhold those items from her. Would it be okay for the dad to not allow his daughter to have a laptop, phone, and ipod? | ||
DuckS
United States845 Posts
With that being said, I don't know how I feel about this method of parenting. Personally, i'd probably get a pretty big ass beating if my dad found anything like that, though, so i'm sure posting a video of ranting isn't so bad. So clearly, there's a problem that needed to be addressed in the household. He was probably going to take the laptop away no matter what, but shooting it just makes it more extreme. It's technically his laptop though, so he can do whatever the hell he wants. At the end of the day, the problem was addressed. This could cause more tension in the household, but overall, something had to be done about her. | ||
Deadeight
United Kingdom1629 Posts
He says he grounded her for three months, took her laptop and phone etc away, for something childish that he can't remember. Well she's 15, I'd expect her to be a bit childish, and that punishment is way over the top. Although she should get on with her minimal chores and stop being lazy. | ||
TwilightStar
United States649 Posts
And to be honest, by the sound of it, she's gotten away with too much. Complaining about a few little chores that your father makes you do is absurd, if she's seriously become so disrespectful over a small amount of work that should be part of a contribution to a family anyway, then I don't want to know what she's like in real life. bravo guy, bravo. | ||
Wolvmatt.
205 Posts
Also, OP is a fucking moron. How is the destruction of the laptop petty? That is worth a month's salary for some people. | ||
leser
Croatia239 Posts
On February 12 2012 01:19 micronesia wrote: It sounds like you feel he shouldn't have gotten her the laptop, phone, ipod, etc unless she was already being a very good girl. If she wasn't, he could explain that she can has them once she does her chores regularly and doesn't do forbidden things online, or whatever. There is definitely logic to this. However, if she still persisted to be like this (doing the wrong things, complaining about chores, etc) despite the motivation to be a good daughter (and get a laptop, phone, ipod, etc) the dad would have to withhold those items from her. Would it be okay for the dad to not allow his daughter to have a laptop, phone, and ipod? there is more than one way to do positive reinforcement. there are a shitton of things parents do for their kids to provide for them and make their lives easier. Gadgets are not the only things he could have "denied" from her. Yeah, it's probably wrong for a kid these days not to have a laptop, but he could have bought her a $200 netbook she couldn't use for anyhing else other than schoolwork and facebook. He could have denied her his full day work on her laptop and the 130$ because he had to do her chores instead of her and didn't have time to do it. He could give her an allowance for doing her chores and let her save some money up and buy a phone/ipod/new shoes/whatever she wants if she saves it up. He could not drive her somewhere because she didn't do her chores etc etc. Giving something to a kid and subsequently destroying it is wrong. It wasn't her laptop then, it was his laptop if he was able to do that. In his mind he owns the kid and everything he bought her. Seems wrong to me. | ||
Bippzy
United States1466 Posts
On February 12 2012 01:05 leser wrote: positive reinforcement, instead of buying her laptops/cameras/phones and then destroying shit when you flip out because she hurt your feelings because she is a whiny teenager? Don't make the chores be done because of the chores or because someone says so, but because you will reward her in the end? This kind of approach goes much further and you can teach kids the very easy causal relationship between work->reward that many kids just don't get because they get everything served on a pladder? there are many things he could have done better as a parent, as is apparent from this video. First off, I view this as a parent disciplining his daughter in the same way his daughter bad mouthed him (clever imo). I'm inclined to believe you don't give your daughter a laptop if you are a psycho who wants to ruin her life. AND he didn't post it around the internet, he posted on his daughters facebook and the internet posted it around the internet. I just can't agree with the insinuation of a psycho, it's just an attempt at demonizing a normal thing. Also, positive reinforcement without anything about negative unforcement? I don't really know what word I was looking for but the point I would like to make is that the style of parenting the dad goes for is incredibly effective. It's what my own father did when I was growing and responsibilities are impossible to complain about...it just works. He wouldn't do everything he did if the girl was acting as a responsible young adult. Plus, you know how people are being stupid and complaining about the new SC2 Patch with theorycraft? Read: there are many things he could have done better as a parent, as is apparent from this video. Actually he is just parenting, as is apparent from this video. Plus the chore can and should be justified as something you should eventually do yourself and as something that will give you a little work ethic, which is also beneficial. Not "heres your reward for putting away the dishes, making your bed, and wiping down the table as well as occasionally getting me a cup of coffee". I would argue things like the laptop are an unspoken reward as is. Edit: On February 12 2012 01:26 Wolvmatt. wrote: I willing to bet that daughter was the result of a faulty condom. If not, what's the point in having kids if you're just going to torture them by being petty and unreasonable? Also, OP is a fucking moron. How is the destruction of the laptop petty? That is worth a month's salary for some people. That's tough love parenting. He's not being unreasonable by any means. I feel like you are being in the point of view of the girl without any sort of idea of what the dad is doing. For the purposes of this discussion the destruction of the laptop is petty. It's a month's salary for some people, obviously not the dad. Edit2: On February 12 2012 01:19 micronesia wrote: It sounds like you feel he shouldn't have gotten her the laptop, phone, ipod, etc unless she was already being a very good girl. If she wasn't, he could explain that she can has them once she does her chores regularly and doesn't do forbidden things online, or whatever. There is definitely logic to this. However, if she still persisted to be like this (doing the wrong things, complaining about chores, etc) despite the motivation to be a good daughter (and get a laptop, phone, ipod, etc) the dad would have to withhold those items from her. Would it be okay for the dad to not allow his daughter to have a laptop, phone, and ipod? I agree with this point actually. However, it's also a sad fact of american lifestyle that it is assumed for most children to auto-have a phone, ipod, and laptop. The father made the decision for his daughter to be normal in that regard I guess, with the expectation that responsibility and respectfulness would occur. And if I was a kid I wouldn't won't the responsibility into those things approach, I would want them through the christmas birthday approach. | ||
micronesia
United States24343 Posts
On February 12 2012 01:26 leser wrote: How is not driving her somewhere because she didn't do her chores different in nature from permanently taking her laptop because she didn't do her chores?there is more than one way to do positive reinforcement. there are a shitton of things parents do for their kids to provide for them and make their lives easier. Gadgets are not the only things he could have "denied" from her. Yeah, it's probably wrong for a kid these days not to have a laptop, but he could have bought her a $200 netbook she couldn't use for anyhing else other than schoolwork and facebook. He could have denied her his full day work on her laptop and the 130$ because he had to do her chores instead of her and didn't have time to do it. He could give her an allowance for doing her chores and let her save some money up and buy a phone/ipod/new shoes/whatever she wants if she saves it up. He could not drive her somewhere because she didn't do her chores etc etc. Other than that question, I pretty much agree. However, you are actually holding this parent to a standard higher than what the majority of parents are like. A lot of people in this thread are acting like his negative rather than positive reinforcement here actually puts him in the bottom 10% of parents, which isn't true at all. | ||
karpo
Sweden1998 Posts
On February 12 2012 01:27 Bippzy wrote: First off, I view this as a parent disciplining his daughter in the same way his daughter bad mouthed him (clever imo). I'm inclined to believe you don't give your daughter a laptop if you are a psycho who wants to ruin her life. AND he didn't post it around the internet, he posted on his daughters facebook and the internet posted it around the internet. I just can't agree with the insinuation of a psycho, it's just an attempt at demonizing a normal thing. Also, positive reinforcement without anything about negative unforcement? I don't really know what word I was looking for but the point I would like to make is that the style of parenting the dad goes for is incredibly effective. It's what my own father did when I was growing and responsibilities are impossible to complain about...it just works. He wouldn't do everything he did if the girl was acting as a responsible young adult. Plus, you know how people are being stupid and complaining about the new SC2 Patch with theorycraft? Read: Actually he is just parenting, as is apparent from this video. Plus the chore can and should be justified as something you should eventually do yourself and as something that will give you a little work ethic, which is also beneficial. Not "heres your reward for putting away the dishes, making your bed, and wiping down the table as well as occasionally getting me a cup of coffee". I would argue things like the laptop are an unspoken reward as is. Edit: That's tough love parenting. He's not being unreasonable by any means. I feel like you are being in the point of view of the girl without any sort of idea of what the dad is doing. For the purposes of this discussion the destruction of the laptop is petty. It's a month's salary for some people, obviously not the dad. Tough love parenting is one thing. Not thinking about the ramifications of putting this video on the net is another. It's now viral and it will probably lead to problems for the girl. 15 is a sensitive age and having your dad talk shit about you on a 10+ million view youtube video isn't really gonna help her popularity. There's been several examples of youtube "hits" where the kids in the videos get constantly bullied and have to move schools. | ||
leser
Croatia239 Posts
On February 12 2012 01:27 Bippzy wrote: First off, I view this as a parent disciplining his daughter in the same way his daughter bad mouthed him (clever imo). I'm inclined to believe you don't give your daughter a laptop if you are a psycho who wants to ruin her life. AND he didn't post it around the internet, he posted on his daughters facebook and the internet posted it around the internet. I just can't agree with the insinuation of a psycho, it's just an attempt at demonizing a normal thing. Also, positive reinforcement without anything about negative unforcement? I don't really know what word I was looking for but the point I would like to make is that the style of parenting the dad goes for is incredibly effective. It's what my own father did when I was growing and responsibilities are impossible to complain about...it just works. He wouldn't do everything he did if the girl was acting as a responsible young adult. Plus, you know how people are being stupid and complaining about the new SC2 Patch with theorycraft? Read: Actually he is just parenting, as is apparent from this video. Plus the chore can and should be justified as something you should eventually do yourself and as something that will give you a little work ethic, which is also beneficial. Not "heres your reward for putting away the dishes, making your bed, and wiping down the table as well as occasionally getting me a cup of coffee". I would argue things like the laptop are an unspoken reward as is. Edit: That's tough love parenting. He's not being unreasonable by any means. I feel like you are being in the point of view of the girl without any sort of idea of what the dad is doing. For the purposes of this discussion the destruction of the laptop is petty. It's a month's salary for some people, obviously not the dad. I agree with you. Negative unforcement is also a valid choice, as is tough love. If you can't get your point across with positive reinforcement or something similar, you gotta do what you gotta do to make the kid understand. It's kind of wrong of me to actually discuss here because I have absolutely no idea about the backstory of the incident discussed other than "she did something stupid and childish some time ago and she got grounded for 3 months". If they tried their best with positive reinforcement, and other more humane methods, and this is a result of the dad freaking out after years of her being a spoiled brat - it's ok. As an incident taken completely out of context - what he did is wrong. | ||
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